Erin
by SaveTheWorldGetTheGirl
Summary: Part 1. Mysterious girl roaming the streets at night to locate her mother who she hasn't seen in a year. Read to find out more! . Part 2. (Starts chapter 17) Jac's mother has something she needs to tell Jac before she dies. Please enjoy and review :D Contains my OC
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone, seeing as I am close to the end of my other fic, I thought I would start another one, please enjoy and review :D**

Erin's POV

She walked down the dark deserted street, praying that she was home. She knew her mother had a busy schedule and she couldn't be guaranteed that she would be able to see her tonight. She didn't know what she would do if she couldn't; she hadn't really thought this through. Her and her dad had been fine before Helen came along, just out of nowhere, or so it seemed. Erin had lived with her father since she was 8 years old, choosing to be with him over her mother who had a much busier lifestyle and it seemed, no time for her daughter. She knew she would have made time if she had chosen to stay with her and in fact it had broken her mother's heart when she continuously chose him over her every time she asked her to reconsider. Her mother barely saw her, only at Christmas and birthdays and even then one of them might cancel. Erin often wondered what it would have been like if she chosen to live with her mother. Would she have been more like her? Although her father told her she looked like her mother, Erin didn't think she was anything like her mother in the personality department; sometimes when she was being extra stubborn, her father would laugh and say 'you're just like your mother sometimes, you know?'

Erin also thought about what it would have been like if her mother and father had stayed together. They could have lived happily ever after like they did in the fairytales that she remembered her mum reading to her when she was young. This might have been very rare because her mother was always studying and working, but she cherished these times and carried them with her all the time. She remembered when she was asked to choose between them. She was only young and such a decision was too big for her; she chose her dad on the basis that he spent more time with her and if she stayed with her mum then she would have to stop studying and working; even then at a young age, Erin knew the importance of her mother's work. She didn't know exactly her background at that age, but she knew she wanted to work hard to make something of herself. She always told Erin that when she was a proper doctor, they could live in a big house and she could have a big room with everything she wanted. They would sit on her bed sometimes and discuss what they would buy when her mother became a consultant, which to Erin's understanding when she was about 6, was the 'bestest doctor'.

It was therefore right, that when she came to choose, she decided to live with her father. She made this choice over and over again each time for different reasons. The first few were because she was young and she knew her mother wouldn't be able to spend as much time with her as she needed; it didn't make Erin feel unloved to know this, because she knew what her mum was doing was important. The next few times she was entering the teenager phase and she had no desire to leave all of her friends to go and live with a woman who wouldn't ever be there, maybe it was because she didn't care for after all. Why couldn't her mother have stopped to think about her daughter and give it up for her? Every time she would see her mum, it would be incredibly awkward between them, because they didn't really know each other. Erin had no idea about her mother's past, present or future. Her mother only knew of her daughter's past and was living in this time forever. They had been shopping a couple of times when they had made the effort to stick to their planned visits; Erin didn't talk much about her life because her mother didn't know anything about her so she wouldn't understand why this was funny or why that upset her. She listened to her mother's stories but didn't understand them either. Thinking about this now as she walked down the cold, dark street, Erin wished she had made more of an effort with her mum. She finally got to the right flat she buzzed and waited for an answer, which she got eventually from a grumpy woman who sounded like she had been woken up.

"Who the hell is this? It's the middle of the night!"

"Mum? It's me, Erin." She heard the woman gasp before a buzz noise filled her ears, signalling that she had been granted entrance. She went inside and was greeted by a skinny ginger woman wearing a white dressing gown over her checked pyjamas.

"Well it must be Christmas." She said with a sad smile, before beckoning her shivering daughter inside.

Jac's POV

Erin dumped her suitcase in the hallway, noticed by Jac but not spoken of just yet. She told Erin to get into the lounge and get warm; she would put the heating on and make her a hot chocolate. Questions were flying through her mind; why was she here alone at this time of night? Why did she have a very large suitcase with her? Was she going to stay? All of these questions were ones that she would have to ask later, because on walking back into the lounge, Erin had fallen asleep on her sofa. Jac put the mug of hot chocolate down before getting a spare blanket from her room and putting it on top of her daughter. She stroked her auburn hair, the same length and colour as her own, from her daughter's face before turning off the light and going to bed herself. Questions could wait until morning, when she would ring up to work sick and spend time with the daughter she had not seen in a year.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi everyone! Thanks for reading this fic :) sorry it has taken a while with the update, I have been incredibly busy recently D: But yep, enjoy and please review, I would really like to know what you thought of this chapter :D **

Jac Naylor had already been up for a few hours before the girl on her sofa began to stir; the smell of her mother's cooking reaching her nose and enticing her. She slowly stretched and crept off the cream couch before tiptoeing her way into the kitchen, finding Jac stood making sausages, bacon, eggs and toast, none of which she would eat herself but she knew that Erin would enjoy.

"Morning." She yawned before sitting on a stool at the counter-top, which was her mother's make-shift dining table.

"Hey, so I made you what I assume still is your favourite: everything on a plate." Jac almost smiled and raised her eyebrows.

"Yeah." Erin grunted before sipping on the orange juice that had been placed in front of her; despite having slept on her mother's sofa, that was the best night's sleep she'd had in a while. Jac continued to potter around the kitchen finally finishing the masterpiece that was Erin's breakfast. She put it down in front of the sleepy teenager before picking up her own mug of coffee and sitting opposite her.

"So I called your dad," Erin barely looked up from her breakfast, "he sounded rather stressed having received your note." She still didn't look up. "He was wondering, and he isn't alone in this thought, why you chose the middle of the night to run away to me who you haven't seen or spoken to in over a year." her mother finished with a dull tone. She noticed that the last part of the statement had fallen out of her mother's mouth with little grace and Erin couldn't tell whether her mother was angry at her, or her dad, or herself.

"Yeah, well if I had rang, you would have been just as surprised and I couldn't have gone during the day because he would have noticed me and told me not to bother. You have to think about the logistics mother." She put a piece of toast in her mouth very inelegantly and Jac shook her head.

"He also told me what the note said. So who's this 'Helen bitch' that you refer to?" Erin rolled her eyes and pointed to her mouth to show that she was still chewing, although Jac was not stupid and realised she was trying to avoiding the interrogation. Jac rolled her eyes in the same fashion as her daughter before standing up and taking her cup to the sink.

"Do you plan on telling me why you came or not?" Jac looked back to her daughter who was dipping her toast into the egg.

"It's dad's new girlfriend; she's pregnant."

"Oh." Jac's facial expression changed into a smirk, "So what, you're jealous?"

"You won't understand, mum." Jac's heart dropped just a little because of the stinging truth in her daughter's words. She brushed off the feeling before turning around once more to look at Erin.

"Look kid, you going to tell me or not? Because I have a shopping trip planned and I'm pretty sure you would like to exhaust my credit card!" Erin nodded eagerly, dripping beans down her chin which she removed with the sleeve of her jumper.

"You're such a scruff!" Jac laughed and threw the kitchen roll at her.

"I know, I get it from dad; you should see the house, it's crazy. Then again, Ben doesn't help."

"Who's Ben?"

"Helen's kid who dad has so warmly treated as his own."

"So it is jealousy then?" she winked and ducked as the kitchen roll came flying back at her. Jac tutted sarcastically and sat back down next to her daughter.

"So go on then kid, what is it?" Erin sighed; she realised she was going to have to tell her mother. Why shouldn't she? She wasn't expecting her to just welcome her with open arms, no questions asked when she hadn't made the effort to see or speak to her mother in over a year.

"It's just, they're young and I'm getting older now so it's just easier for me to be left to my own devices. This new baby is going to be the start of a whole family that I'm not part of and this 'Helen Bitch' has made that perfectly clear."

"Do you want to be a part of their family?" Jac was finding this situation quite difficult, because as much as she wanted her daughter to be happy like she had been, she also wanted her to be with her, even if it was just going to be for a few more years; Jac wanted this more than anything in the world and this could be the perfect opportunity.

"I don't know. I loved living with dad," Jac smiled a sad smile, "but I just think that it's going to be hard with his new family, for me to fit in like I used to. When I was a kid it was easy for me to choose him, but now it makes more sense for me to be here." Jac understood what Erin meant but didn't know what to think, she had been the last resort to her daughter and this devastated her, but she knew that she had to take this chance.

"I need to ask you something then. Why did you choose him then and why did you choose me now?"

"Why are you asking me that? You know we both just get upset and then there's mascara everywhere and-"

"Erin, just answer me, please."

"Look mum, I was a kid and so were you! I needed regularity and routines. I wanted a parent who would be there for me. This is going to be hard to hear, but you weren't there as often as I would have liked." Jac turned away because she didn't want Erin to see her cry; even though it was all the truth.

"When you visited and you would ask me to stay with you, my answer was always the same because I was mature enough to know that it wouldn't work. You were always telling me about how you were going to be the best doctor, well mum, you couldn't do that with a young kid on your own struggling. That's the reason I chose dad and that's the reason I always chose him. It's not because I didn't love you, or because I resented you for wanting your own life."

"Erin, you know that I would have given everything up for you! I wouldn't have needed to be the best doctor if I had you." Jac was unusually quiet in her tone of defence.

"It's just the way I thought and I don't know... I wouldn't have wanted you to resent me either." Jac lifted Erin's chin up.

"Hey kid, now you listen to me. I have never nor will I ever, resent having you. The only thing I regret is not being a part of your life." She pulled her into a hug which lasted so long it was as though they had collaborated all of the missed hugs from the last 16 years into this one moment.

"What do you think about me staying now then?" Erin mumbled into her mother's shirt. "You are a consultant so you're at the top and I'm older so I won't depend on you as much and-"

"You want to stay permanently?" They pulled out of the hug and Erin shrugged her shoulders.

"Yeah, well I guess we could do a trial run or something but, I think it's for the best, I want my own family, not one I have to watch into and occasionally be a part of." Jac's studying into genetic and environmental factors controlling characteristics was wasted, because their expressions and mannerisms were so similar they could have been the same person.

"You can stay as long as you want, I see you brought the clothes for it anyway!" She nodded over to the now empty suitcase and her clothes which had been folded neatly and put into piles.

"I don't know if there's enough there though mother, what were you saying about a shopping trip?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry it has been a while but here is the next chapter and I have finished school for the Christmas holidays so I will update more regularly. Enjoy and please review! :)**

The Darwin team were mystified when Elliot strode on to the ward with a tired expression on his face. He had been called in to replace Ms Naylor who had contracted some strange illness and apparently she couldn't physically move out of bed. Elliot and Oliver, having known Jac for the longest amount of time were the most shocked by this as they didn't think that robots could become ill and even if they could, they didn't think that something as minor as this could ever stop Jac from getting into work. Mo and Jonny joined in their confusion as they had been a part of the team for quite some time now and noticed how their boss always seemed to be there. Although you wouldn't quite call it Hanssen-style looming, she certainly knew everything that occurred on her ward, no matter how hard her colleagues tried to hide it. Anything that went wrong, she knew about it. So it was a relief then, when Oliver mucked up in surgery and Mo had to bail him out, that Jac Naylor wasn't there. In fact, the Darwin team were having quite a stress-free day; well, as stress-free as a hospital could be.

Jac wished her day could have been a little less stressful; whoever thought that shopping was a leisurely activity had clearly never been clothes shopping with a teenage girl trying to get over daddy issues before. It wasn't Erin that was the major contributor to Jac's stress anyway; Paul, Erin's father had not stopped ringing until Jac had quietly agreed to him coming to her flat and talking things through with his daughter. He couldn't quite accept that she had chosen to live with her mother permanently and believed it was just some attention-seeking plan. Jac had thought about this possibility, but couldn't quite accept that her daughter would do something like that; the way she had acted that morning had been enough proof to her that she was genuine.

Jac waited until lunch time to bring up the subject of school and what Erin had planned on doing.

"So, you must be in sixth form now right? Don't you have exams in January? You're going to have to go back to Manchester to do them." Erin looked up from her food and shook her head.

"Not if I get into a sixth form down here, then we could just make some calls and organise it that I do them here."

"So you did think about that then. What about your friends?"

"Well, I'm going to uni in a year and a half, so it's not like I wouldn't be leaving them anyway. Besides, there's Facebook and Twitter for me to talk to them."

"I know but was that not hard, leaving your friends behind; did you even tell them?"

"I told my closest friend, and he understood. You'd love George mum, I told him he could come and visit me, you don't mind do you?"

"No of course not, I was just thinking about your other friends, wouldn't they like to know?"

"George will tell them, but I don't really have any other close friends." Erin just smiled and continued with her lunch. Jac shook her head.

"Right I will be back in a sec' just going to make some calls as you would say." Jac left her at the table and found a quiet corner in the busy shopping centre.

She was soon back and had a silly smile on her face.

"Okay so you have a place at a sixth form close to my work, I have to call them back later with your subjects and things, but the head owes me a favour." Jac put her phone back in her bag.

"Oh dear, please don't tell me _that_ kind of favour." Erin rolled her eyes; Jac winked and grabbed her coat.

"Come on, more shopping or I was thinking we could go to the cinema?"

"Well actually, do you mind if I go meet a friend?" Jac raised her eyebrows in a quizzical fashion, "Back from when we lived down here, I stayed in touch but I haven't seen her in years." Erin tried to make her worried-looking mother feel more comfortable.

"Okay, whatever. Just so you know I'm back in work tomorrow, so you're going to have amuse yourself at the flat, invite this girl round tomorrow as well if you want."

"Yeah, alright. I won't be back late tonight don't worry, and I have my phone on me." Erin gave her mother an awkward hug before leaving her standing at the table.

Jac rang and rang Erin as much as Paul had rang her. She had never thought she would become the over-protective mother but the way Erin had behaved made her suspicious. Erin finally got home at 11:00PM. Jac went a little crazy but eventually the pair went to bed, Erin in a bad mood that her mother had shouted at her, Jac angry that she was being made a fool by her own daughter.

Jac had awoke early and left a note for Erin who didn't stir as her mother walked in and stroked her hair and left the piece of paper on her bedside table. Jac had slept on the sofa that night and had realised she was going to have to find a bigger place, because that was actually quite uncomfortable. Jac arrived at work, only to be greeted by a huge column of paperwork on her desk and a very tired looking Oliver.

"Go out last night did we?" he lifted his head and winced as the bright light burnt his eyes.

"Yeah, stag do."

"Yeah well, we have work to do Valentine so I suggest you take two Paracetamol and five minutes before start treating people who are actually ill." She looked back to the huge pile of paperwork as Oliver left her office and sighed.

Jonny didn't think his boss was going to get away with pulling a sicky, so he waltzed right into her office without knocking and sat on her desk.

"I didn't hear you knock." Jac didn't look up from her paperwork and continued to scribble on the white sheets.

"That's because I didn't. So, I heard you were ill yesterday, unable to move."

"Yep, thanks for the concern but I'm better now so..." she nodded towards the door, again without looking up.

"You're welcome, only, I don't think you were ill. I think you were skiving." Jac scoffed but continued to write. "So i'm right then? Hmm so, what would cause Jac Naylor to not come into work? Maybe your transforming machine had a technical problem and you were stuck in your horrific natural form all day? Maybe you were having a secret affair and he wouldn't let you into work for fear you were going to reveal his identity?"

"Nurse Maconie, you are so dramatic, shame you chose nursing as a career really because you're not as half as good at that."

"Ah so it was a man." He smirked cheekily and left her office. Jac finally lifted her head from her work and sat back in her chair. She let out a sigh, he could think that if he wanted, everybody knew the way she was with men, what she couldn't afford was the news about her having a child because gossiped about around the hospital. She flicked on the radio beside her and the sound of _I'm Walking in the Air _was quite calming.


	4. Chapter 4

**This chapter doesn't really have any meaning right now, it's just I was excited by Christmas songs on the radio and thought it had to be done. Don't worry though, I will tie it in somewhere... The next chapter does have more relevance to the story, I promise! I will upload it along with this one. Please enjoy this chapter none-the-less, I enjoyed writing it! Please review :) **

_Are you hanging up a stocking on your wall?  
It's the time that every Santa has a ball_

Jac now turned off the radio in her office, before continuing with the mountain of paperwork that towered over her desk. She was disappointed to find however, that the music didn't stop.

_Does he ride a red nosed reindeer?  
Does a 'ton up' on his sleigh  
Do the fairies keep him sober for a day?_

Jonny and Sacha were having fun at the nurses' station, singing along loudly to Jonny's favourite Christmas song. Sacha had come up to bring his favourite consultant a Christmas present, but had got caught up in the madness that was happening on Darwin ward.

Jac stormed out of her office with an angry glare in her eye; there were patients dying in their beds and those two idiots were busy singing about Christmas. It was particularly unfair when you realised that these were the patients who weren't going home for and Sacha had their backs turned to Jac who had reached the nurses' station; she switched off the radio but they carried on singing.

_So here it is merry Christmas-_

"Will you be quiet?!" Jac shouted above the noise that was erupting from their mouths. Sacha spun around, still grinning wildly. Jonny shut his mouth and turned around slowly to face his boss.

"Come on Jac! Christmas spirit and all that!" Sacha tried to win her over, but her mad glare still masked her face.

"If you two don't stop singing and disturbing my patients then-"

"What happened to good will to all men?" Angry at being interrupted, Jac shot Jonny a death stare.

"When I see any real men I will gladly apply that rule. Sacha did you want something or did you come up here just to waste my time and annoy my patients.

"Ooh icy!"

"Will you shut up Nurse Maconie?!" Jonny smirked and zipped his lips. He removed himself from the nurses' station and patted Sacha on the shoulder before heading towards the lift.

"Sacha?" Sacha turned around to face her after watching Jonny walk away.

"Yep?" She raised his eyebrows and crossed her arms, "Ah yes, well I brought this for you, Christmas present. I was also wondering if you would like to come to us for Boxing day?"

"Oh," the consultant's glare seemingly disappeared and a more sheepish look appeared on her face for a second before she returned a small smile to Sacha.

"Thanks, I don't have yours with me so I'll drop it off tonight."

"Oh it's alright! What about Boxing Day?"

"Erm, well I'll have to check if I'm busy-"

"Jac, we are having a couple of friends over and my family and I know you don't have any family of your own so I thought it would be nice. I will see you there." And before she could say another word, he was off down the ward, heading towards the lift.

_Look to the future now  
it's only just begun  
Are you waiting for the family to arrive?  
Are you sure you got the room to spare inside?  
Does your granny always tell ya that the old songs are the best?  
Then she's up and rock 'n' rollin' with the rest_

Jac looked around to the group of elderly patients half-sitting up in their beds, finishing the chorus that Jonny and Sacha had started. She half-heartedly smiled at them before returning to her office. She sat and wondered how she was going to tell Sacha about Erin, without the whole hospital discovering. Then again she wouldn't have to tell him if she didn't go for Boxing Day dinner. She couldn't stand his mother and Chrissie was just as irritable. She picked up the badly-wrapped gift that Sacha had handed to her; she shook it, remembering how a very young Erin would do that on Christmas Eve, trying to guess what was inside. As much as she loved staying in on her own at Christmas with a few bottles of wine, this year was going to be very different for her; so she might as well spend some of it with her friend. She thought about the present that she had bought for Sacha. It was an impulse buy yesterday in the shopping centre as she knew he would get her something as he did every year and she was always late with her gift to him. She was going to drop it off tonight, maybe she could take Erin with her and they could be introduced? She shook her head, first she would have to find out if Chrissie was going to be there; if she was then the news would have reached everyone by the time Jac got into work the next day.

She pushed her paperwork to one side before turning the radio back on and singing along with the last part of the song.

_So here it is merry Christmas  
Everybody's having fun  
Look to the future now  
It's only just begun  
What will your daddy do  
When he sees your Mama kissin' Santa Claus?  
Ah ah  
Are you hanging up a stocking on your wall?  
Are you hoping that the snow will start to fall?  
Do you ride on down the hillside in a buggy you have made?  
When you land upon your head then you've been slayed_

_So here it is merry Christmas  
Everybody's having fun  
Look to the future now  
It's only just begun_


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for reading, please review! Any ideas or criticism? :D **

Erin sat on the sofa in her mother's flat browsing through the channels; having just come off the phone to her mother, she knew she should be getting ready to go for lunch with her friend, but the cream sofa was just more inviting. Unfortunately her peaceful morning was interrupted by the harsh sound of the buzz of the intercom; she didn't know this area very well and was well aware that this was her mother's flat, so she wondered who this could be. Instead of finding out she continued to look through the TV channels, whoever it was could come back, or they would ring Jac if it was urgent.

Jac had finally finished her paperwork and had put on her scrubs and was on her way into theatre when a small nurse came running along next to her with a phone in her hand.

"Ms Naylor?"

"What?" Jac barked at the young, scared-looking nurse.

"Phone, can't wait he said." Jac snatched her mobile out of the nurse's hand. She had only given it to her five minutes ago telling her that if anybody rang, she was busy in theatre and for them to call back. She obviously couldn't understand instructions.

"Yes?"

"Jac it's Paul, I've just been round to the flat and nobody's answering, where are you?"

"Well you know I do have a job Paul, my life doesn't revolve around you." She then almost let slip that Erin was at the flat, but of course, she had neglected to tell her daughter that he was coming and didn't think it was a good idea that he go storming in there when she was alone.

"Well where's Erin? Surely she isn't at work with you?" his tone was becoming more angry and Jac remembered how she had spent time in their relationship wondering if he would go any further than just shouting at her.

"She's out with friends; you can come and meet me at work in a couple of hours if you want."

"What friends are these?"

"I don't know, some girl she used to hang about with you lived down here?"

"Well make sure she's alright, the last lot of people she was hanging around with weren't the nice sort."

"Look Paul, are you coming to meet me or not, I really have to go and save a man's life."

"Right fine, meet me at the front of the hospital." And with that he hung up the phone. Jac had a bemused face as she passed the phone once more to the nurse who was pretending she hadn't been listening to the conversation.

"No more calls, even if they say they can't wait, make sure you get who they are, then put the phone down if they won't give up. Got it?"

Jac left the hospital wearing her standard-issue grey NHS hoody on top of her scrubs. The two coffees she had carried to the entrance of the hospital were warming up her hands as she felt the freezing winter winds glide across her bare hands. She looked around for a minute before locating Paul. He had chosen not to talk to Jac face to face for the past eight years, dropping Erin off at the front of her flats and only speaking to her in emergencies on the phone.

He looked a lot older than she remembered him from those years ago. His short blonde hair was littered with grey strands and his face was lined with wrinkles that Jac was sure were not laughter lines. He was wearing a grey pinstripe suit with a pale blue shirt and stripy blue tie that made him look like an accountant. She remembered what he had been like the last time she had seen him; although he was still tall, his growing tummy hid his old athletic ways and his shirt and jacket couldn't hide his middle age weight gain.

Thinking back to when she was a teenager and had first encountered Paul at her school disco, she where the handsome and loveable man was that she married at 18. He was two years older than Jac and it was just by chance that they met. She was 16 and was attending the sixth form prom with a rather loud boy whose name escaped her, while he was drinking and talking with friends; she took the back seat and sat alone in the shadows of the hall. She was amazed that although she had managed to date the most popular guy in her year, she wasn't enjoying it as much as she hoped she would when she beat her nemesis by being asked to the dance by him. She recalled that he ended up taking the slag home; her name she could remember as she encountered her a few years ago surrounded by five children and there he was stood by her side; time had not treated the pair of them well and they were shocked to see Jac, who time had been especially kind to, treating her father in hospital.

Paul hadn't arrived until later that night, he had come to pick up his sister a quiet girl who hadn't been asked at all to the dance, but had turned up on her own and sat a few meters away from Jac but hadn't uttered a word to her. Jac didn't recognise him; even though they attended the same sixth form, they had never crossed paths before and tonight wouldn't have been any different had he not asked both her and his sister if they wanted to dance with him and his friend. His friend was a lot less good looking than Paul, but seemed to have a similar kind heart as he smiled at Paul's sister and held out his hand. Paul did the same to Jac and she gladly accepted, his warm smile and blue eyes enticing her to follow him.

He had taken her back to the children's home which she was living in at the time and she felt very embarrassed as he walked her up the path. When she got to the door he placed a kiss on her cheek before walking back to his car and waving. The next day she saw him in one of the maths classrooms that she would be in later that day; they had both discussed what they were doing and so he knew she would be there. He left her a note on one of the tables asking her if they could meet again, this note still lay in her memory box in her flat. It was all rather romantic for young Jac, who loved this attention and two years later, they were happily married. The social workers didn't approve but what could they do? She was eighteen now and they were actually in love.

A year later they had baby Erin and he was a devoted father to her while Jac continued in her education. He continued working for his father's business from home so he could take care of his baby, which was ultimately why Erin chose him when they separated. Although he had a short temper, she really had loved him and he loved her, but they were both young and they both wanted different things. She wanted a career and he wanted a bigger family, even though Erin had been an accident, he adored her and just wanted more. Jac wanted to the best she could in her career and she felt a family would get in the way. She would come home and she remembered how he hated her being at university and then at work when he was looking after their child. She didn't pay either of them much attention, but he didn't know the reasons why she wanted to do whatever she could to become the best. They fought constantly nearing the end of their 9 year marriage; she desperately loved him and wanted him to stay with her, nobody else had ever given her this much love and she really thought they would be together forever. As much as he wanted her to though, she couldn't give up her career and in the end she asked herself why should she? She spent as much time as she could with Erin and would always be there for her if and when she needed her. Paul finally gave up on her and left, taking Erin with him; she pleaded with Erin to stay with her, telling her she would give everything up. She remembered hearing Paul scoff at her, before Erin telling her that she would see her soon. Jac's heart turned to ice and she became cold to the world.

He sat on the bench with a large black umbrella protecting him from the pelting rain, which she had shielded herself from with her hood. He looked her up and down before nodding inside the hospital. She turned back around and he caught up with her just as they were entering the building. He took a coffee from her hands and their skin touched for just a moment and he was also reminded of what she was like when they first met.


	6. Chapter 6

**Here's the next chapter... I have been ultra efficient and have written up to chapter 9 so the updates will be faster. Thanks for reading and reviewing, please continue and enjoy! :D**

They sat in awkward silence for only a few seconds, but one which felt like an eternity to both of them. Neither knew how to make the first move but eventually Jac bit the bullet.

"So why are you here Paul? You know why Erin has chosen to live with me and I think she is pretty adamant that she wants to stay. She has a place at a sixth form, she's going to do all of her exams, and she can come and see you in the holidays or whatever-"

"How do you know what she wants? You haven't been a big part of her life in eight years Jac, and you haven't actually seen her in over a year." She threw down her coffee cup even though what he had said was the truth.

"I know what she wants because as much as I haven't been as big a part as I would have liked, I am still her mother and I know that when she comes to my house in the middle of the night after getting on a train and then cries to me the next day that she doesn't feel like a part of the family, that she is telling the truth." As much as she tried to control her anger and, she wouldn't say it but nerves that she felt talking to this man, she couldn't and she had attracted a few glances from the staff. "Did you not think that maybe I want to be a part of her life? Moving to Manchester didn't exactly make it easy for me to see her and that's why you're right Paul. I don't know that much about my own daughter, but that's because you left me on my own eight years ago and you turned me into some heartless cow because you took my baby away from me." Her face was now not just wet from the cold rain that had attacked her outside, but now from warm tears that slid down from her eyes and she let them because this man had seen all of her weaknesses. There was no point in hiding them because she had nothing to be defensive about; he was in the wrong.

He looked at her; genuine sadness filled her eyes and he remembered how, when they were married, he would have done anything not to have seen that face, those tears. She couldn't make him feel guilty now though, she was in the wrong.

"Look Jac, just let me talk to her. Let me ask her why she left and let me try and explain. If she still wants to be with you afterwards then that's fine, but I will not let eight years of me looking after her and being there for her slip away from me."

"You can talk to her, but I promise you, that you will not take her back."

Her lunch break came to an end, signalled by the bleeping of her pager. She took it from the waist of her trousers and sighed.

"I have to go back to the ward. You can amuse yourself till I have finished? There's no point going to the flat because she's out so you might as well come back with me." She got up and left swiftly, not looking back until she got into the lift and had to face the table at which she was just sat with the sad old man who she couldn't decide whether she loved or loathed.

She got back to Darwin ward and decided that that meeting had not gone well; she had let herself get too angry and she had told him too much, but what else could she do? That man knew everything about her, her childhood secrets, her fears and her weaknesses. She wanted to have been confident around him but ended up wishing he would put his arm around her shoulder and kiss her on the forehead before telling her he was sorry. Conflictingly she wanted to hurt him as he had hurt her eight years ago and the two feelings collided in her head making her angry and upset. She was scared now, because he probably knew exactly how she was feeling.

The ward was as loud as it had been that morning, only with less people making more noise. Valentine was following Tara around, probably trying to apologise for something, but Tara was having none of it as she walked away from him; were those tears in her eyes? Jac noticed a glint in the F1's eyes that was the unmistakable sign of sadness; she wiped her own face with her arm, only making it wetter because her hoody was soaked from the two minutes she went outside. She stalked into the locker room followed by Jonny, who she hadn't known was behind her; she didn't know that she was shivering now from the cold wet clothing and her anger. She turned to get something from her locker and jumped violently when she saw Jonny, holding out his own grey hoody.

"Bloody hell! You know, some people might find it strange that you walk silently behind them?" Although, she was now pulling off her own hoody and had gladly accepted his which drowned her but offered comfort and warmth. "Thank you." She said quietly as he smiled and took hers from her.

"So who was the guy you were having coffee with then?" She raised her eyebrows at him.

"He's... why do you want to know?"

"Ah no reason, just if he's made you cry then I'd like to congratulate him on the mastering of robotic emotions." She didn't offer any sarcastic comment back to him and instead sat on the bench, wiping away more tears with the extra long sleeves of his jumper. "I was just joking, don't cry over me." At this Jac laughed, and got back up from the bench.

"As if." He pretended to look hurt but knew her defence mechanism was functioning once more. "He's no-one to worry about Jonny." She went to open the door but was blocked by Jonny who pushed it back shut.

"Drink tonight?"

"You're going to take advantage of an emotionally unstable woman? Jonathan I had more hope in you." He moved away from the door and let her squeeze through the tiny gap she had allowed for herself. She popped her head round it after she had escaped. "No grudges about the Hanssen thing then?" He opened the door wider to let himself out, still holding her hoody in his hand.

"Well, you can tell me what happened over a drink and I might just find it in my heart to forgive you."

"It's a shame I'm busy tonight then isn't it?" She walked hurriedly away from him but turned around halfway down the corridor. "Tomorrow's better!" He smirked as she turned away again, this time making it to the patient.


	7. Chapter 7

**I know I am being very eager with the updates but I have the next few written and I want to do a Christmas chapter in time for Christmas :) I am having trouble with Paul as I have had a few ideas but I'm not sure which is the best, I might have to write out two scenarios. Anyway, enjoy this chapter! :)**

"Hey Erin can you call me when you get this? I have to tell you something quite important and you will hate me if I don't give you forewarning. Anyway, hope you're having fun while not answering your phone for the fourth time, love you." She hung up and put her phone back in her pocket. Teenagers do not deserve phones, she thought to herself as she left her office in search of any of her patients' results, which were taking quite a while to surface from the lab.

"Nurse Maconie, can you go down to the lab and see what is taking them so bloody long?"

"Sure, also here's your hoody." He handed her the still wet item of clothing, which aroused suspicion as people realised she was wearing his.

"Yeah, well thanks for lending me yours while I got dry from the rain." She enunciated these words loud enough for those nosey doctors and nurses to hear her, receiving a raised eyebrow and a smirk of Jonny. She took his hoody off and gave it back to him awkwardly and then, even more awkwardly, walked away from the nurses' station and to her patient's room.

"Mrs Prescott I can assure you that I am doing everything I can possibly do right now without the results. I have asked for an update as to why the lab is taking so long but without them I really can't do anything more than give him pain relief." Mrs Prescott frowned at Jac held her husband's hand tighter.

"I told you we should have gone private. You're such an old miser Terry."

"Look love, I am not wasting my money on those people, Ms Naylor 'ere knows what she's doing and I trust 'er more than those private quacks."

"Ms Naylor, Mr Prescott's results have finally come lack from the lab."

"Perfect timing, thanks Nurse Maconie." He smiled and stood next to her as she looked at scans on the tablet.

"Okay," she flipped through the images of Mr Prescott's chest, "I need to go and talk to my colleagues but I think that you have a small mass in your chest-"

"Cancer?!" Mrs Prescott cried loudly and squeezed her husband.

"I don't think it is cancerous but investigative surgery should be able to tell us more. It will more than likely just be a cyst which I believe should be easy to remove."

"When can you do this investigatin' then?" Terry had pushed his wife slightly off of him and was now able to breathe.

"It will be today and we can remove the cyst in the same operation."

"Will I be home for Christmas?"

"I should think so, if we get the surgery done as soon as possible, you can stay in for observation for a couple of days and then you can go home Christmas Eve. You will of course need regular check-ups."

"I have children coming from all over the place you see, an' we've been looking forward to it for ages. My eldest lives in New Zealand an' I haven't seen 'im in four years."

"Well, as long as there are no complications, then you should be home in time to see your children." Jac smiled warmly at the couple before explaining the standard risks of surgery and the operation itself. Jonny listened in for a while before getting bleeped, hopefully for more results. Jac's phone rang just as he left her talking to the couple.

"I'm so sorry, I really have to get this." Mr Prescott smiled and nodded; she stayed close to the bed because she was sure she wouldn't be long. "Yep?"

"Mum it's me, you called me but I was in the cinema, what's up?"

"Oh, I can't really talk right now hang on." Jac left the room signalling to them that she would only be a minute. "It's your dad, he's come down and he wants to talk to you."

"What?! Well what did you say?"

"I told him he could come and see you but I will be there and I have already told him that you're not going back with him so don't worry about it."

"Fine, well what time do you think you're going to be home?"

"Few hours yet, I have surgery and then write ups, I'll try and be as quick as I can."

"Well I can meet you at the hospital in a few hours then and can you give me a lift home?"

"Your dad will be in the car."

"Hmm, on second thoughts I'll just get the bus home."

"Do you have enough money?"

"Yep, I'll be fine, see you later."

"Wait-" Erin had already cut the call and Jac walked back to her patient. "So sorry about that." She sighed and smiled, trying not to show how stressed she was.

"Kids?" Mrs Prescott smiled for the first time at Jac.

"Yeah, just the one."

"Ah wait till you have a few more love, we've got seven!"

"Wow, I couldn't imagine-"

"Yeah, it was 'ard work but they've all grown up now and they're all good kids. My eldest, the one from New Zealand has only just saved enough money to come up 'ere, I told him I would pay for it but he's too proud. We would have gone down there but Felicity can't travel on planes, so it's been a while."

"Well at least you get to see him at Christmas." Jac smiled and motioned for Jonny who was lingering by the door to come back. "Can you prepare Mr Prescott for surgery please? Mrs Prescott, would you like someone to take you to the relatives room or the cafe downstairs?"

"Yes please." Jac found another nurse who guided Mrs Prescott to the lift.

Jac tried her hardest in surgery and her hard work paid off as the cyst was just that and was removed easily, without complication. She found herself smiling to herself because the couple were to be reunited with their son, just as she had been with Erin. She left the theatre behind the trolley with an unconscious Terry lying on it; they were met by his wife and Jonny, who had been talked to death by Mrs Prescott.

"How'd it go?" the woman was now frantically walking alongside the trolley.

"It went well, I've removed the cyst and you can go home in a couple of days, sorry it won't be a lot of time to prepare the dinner though!" Mrs Prescott laughed a small laugh, concentrating more on her husband. They reached the ward and Jac and Jonny left Mrs Prescott sitting devotedly beside her husband and they both walked into the nurses' station.

"You know I heard your conversation before."

"Which one?" Jac barely looked up from the computer screen, "Have my other patients been sorted out? There were two that needed to be discharged and another who needed observation, who have you got on that?"

"Nurse Thomas is doing obs and the other two have been discharged. The one you had on the phone to your kid." Jac's head shot up and she looked around to see who else was listening to their discussion.

"You know if I wanted people to know my business I would have told them myself, please be quite." She hit him softly and pushed towards her office.

"What did you hear?" She sat right back in her chair behind her desk and she crossed her legs.

"Well I'm just going off your side of the conversation, so your kid-"

"Erin, my daughter. Carry on."

"Right so Erin's dad has come to talk to her or something, but you're not going to let him take her."

"So you heard the conversation then."

"Yeah, just a bit. What's going on Jac?"

"Why do I need to tell you Jonny? What makes you think, you're that important?"

"You don't need to be defensive around me Jac, you made that mistake before. I'm still in your office, I want to know so you might as well tell me, I would have found anyway when I got you so drunk that you agreed to sleep with me and we went back to yours. In fact I'm glad I know now!" Jac smiled for a second before it disappeared from her face and her glare was back.

"I met her dad when I was 16, I got married when I was 18, I was stupid and young and I was in love." Jonny scoffed, "No really I was!"

"Alright, carry on."


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks for reviewing and reading! Enjoy :) **

"Thank you. So I was 19 when I had Erin," Jonny looked quite surprised, he hadn't expected her child to be... 16 years old, how had he never heard about her before then? "She was the most important thing in the world to me, but I was young and I still wanted to do things with my life, that's what growing up in care does for you, acts as a motivation." She let Jonny move over to Elliot's chair and move it round so he could sit opposite her.

"So I went to university, became a doctor. It took me a while because I had a break in between to have Erin but I did it. I tried as hard as I could to keep a balance between my job and my family but being a doctor consumed me, it's all I had ever wanted. I still saw Erin and I made sure I spent some time with her, but that was Paul's job. He didn't mind, he loved it! He wanted more kids but I was busy, I was still only young and I felt like one was enough for now, you know?" Jonny didn't know but he listened intently, trying to find something positive about the situation in this part of her story.

"We had been married for 9 years, and we had made it that far with Erin and my job and his job but he couldn't cope with the fact that I wasn't ready for more children, I barely had time to see my existing daughter as it was, I wasn't going to bring another child into the world that was going to have little interaction. I thought it was okay because she saw her dad a lot and whatever time I had it was spent with her I swear to you." She felt as though she had to explain herself to him because she wasn't coming across as the perfect mother.

"Then we had a huge fight, he always had a horrible temper. I came home from work and he had a huge suitcase packed with his things, and a smaller one full of Erin's things. She stood next to him in a blue t-shirt and some jeans with a smile on her face. She didn't have clue, she was barely eight and he was taking her away from me. I have never cried so much in my life; I begged him not to leave, I loved him but we argued and I was always scared when he got angry," Jonny's eyes widened, that was not a word he could have ever imagined Jac Naylor being, Jac didn't stop with the story, "I didn't want him to take her, I loved Erin and I couldn't stand the thought of not having her with me and, I asked her to stay with mummy but she told me that she wanted to be with her dad because he took her to drama and ballet and I was too busy to take her, then she told me to stop crying and she would see me soon. I let her go because I knew that he loved her and I never believed that he could ever hurt her, I don't even know if he has, it's just... mother's intuition." For the second time that day, Jac let tears fall down her face and Jonny saw she that she was reliving this moment in her head. He offered her a reassuring hand which she held for a moment before releasing the grip to grab a tissue from a box on her desk.

"When I was on nights she would wake up extra early so she could say hello to me before I went to bed and before she went to school. I would wake up by the time she got home so I could do her homework with her and talk to her. But she was right, I only ever went to one of her performances and she would always ask me to go but I could never get the time away from work or uni or whatever, something insignificant always got in the way. I told her I would give it up for her, but she didn't really understand, so I had to let her go." Jonny had to blink a few times to prevent himself from crying; he had never witnessed Jac, or anyone in this way before. He had come close to it with Mo, when she had to give away baby William, but with Jac it was so unexpected.

"They moved to Manchester and it was harder for me to see her. When she was about 12, I remember her telling me that she hated me because I let her go, I didn't care for her apparently. That was the hardest thing to hear. I began to see her less and less because I didn't ever want to hear that again and I was scared. It's a horrible thing to know that you don't know anything about your child, and I don't really, I wanted to know her but she couldn't trust me for her to tell me things. Then two days ago, after not seeing her for over a year, she turns up at my flat in the middle of the night. She ran away from home; her dad has met someone who's not the nicest apparently, but I think there's something else, something she isn't telling me. Anyway, she told me she wants to live with me now; she thinks that now I'm in a good position, she's older so she won't need as much time that it's the best time for me to get to know her. I would have preferred it if she would have said this to me four years ago rather than her telling me that she hated me, but what can you do? She's here now and it's my duty as her mother to be there for her and if she doesn't want to be with her father then I won't make her." She said this last bit with some gusto and Jonny saw his Jac Naylor.

"Of course Paul is having none of it, he thinks she's just trying to seek attention, she's of _that_ age he said to me. If he had seen her, he would have seen her heart breaking because I think, that she does love him she told me she feels like an outsider but what if there's more than that? What if I let my daughter go and live with him and he hurt her? I don't know if I could live with that guilt, the only way I could would be for her to stay with me and for me to always be there to protect her." Jac finished telling her story, while Jonny took in all of the information; she looked at her watch and realised they had been there for quite a while and that Paul would be waiting for her.

"Look, I have to go. He's waiting for me at the front. I don't know what's going to happen now, I'm worried that she'll go back with him, I really don't want her to."

"I'm sure she won't Jac, she's old enough to make these decisions and she can stand up to her dad if it comes to that."

"I hope so, because I can't lose her again; just this has brought up so many bad memories and feelings I don't think I could take it now. Three days ago it would have been a miracle if she had called me to ask if she could come up at Christmas, in two days she's worked her way back into my life and I don't want to let her go." He wanted to comfort her because in that half an hour or however long they had sat there talking, he had learnt so much about her than he had in the few months that they had been 'together'. He leant forward and went to kiss her head, but she lifted her face up so their lips touched.


	9. Chapter 9

**And yet another update! ;) I'm loving writing this so I have like all the chapters written in advance! :) Enjoy and thanks for reading and reviewing! :D**

Their kiss lingered for a moment before Jonny pulled away. Jac opened her eyes;

"I'm sorry; I don't know why I just did that... I'm gonna go now..." Jac brushed the hair from her face and pushed past Jonny, embarrassment clear in her face as she opened the door and turned to face him again. "I...thanks, for listening."

"Yeah, well... any time." He waved goodbye awkwardly and then put his head in his hands as she left the room.

Jac found herself in the locker room, her mind completely blank of the day's events. All she really wanted right now was to go home and go to bed. But she couldn't; the man she used to love was waiting outside to take her daughter away, she had just kissed a man who didn't deserve any false hope and all of her confidence in facing the situation had melted away and she was unsure of her next move. How could she possibly keep him from taking Erin back? She didn't know her and she was sure that Paul would do his upmost to win her round. She finished getting changed and walked back out on to the ward, only to be met again by Jonny.

"Hey, I'm glad I caught you. Look Jac, I know you're not really into opening up and that and I know you always like to act strong, but I just want to say that I have never respected you more than just now." He looked deep into her green eyes.

"Jonny, that kiss, it did mean something but I don't think I can act upon it right now. I have Erin to fight for and I don't want her to feel like second best in my life-"

"Just a drink tomorrow night; you already agreed to that." She nodded and smiled, grateful that he understood, or at least tried to for her sake. "Good luck." He said quietly and carried on walking towards Mr and Mrs Prescott. She smiled in his direction but he had already turned away; she turned her back and made her way to the lift.

"So have you made up your mind about Boxing day then?" Sacha had just entered the lift and he was oblivious to her red eyes and rosy cheeks that were a sign that she had been crying.

"Yeah, that would be nice." Sacha grinned widely, "Only thing is though, would you mind if I brought someone?"

"Oh, has Jonny made his way back into your good books or is it the other way round?"

"Well both but it's not him." Sacha looked confused and waited for her to explain; they reached the bottom floor and exited the lift. "My daughter Erin's living with me now," Sacha looked shocked, "Yeah, long story. Oh I forgot, I can't bring the present round tonight so how about we have lunch tomorrow?" Sacha just nodded and watched Jac walk away into the darkness.

Paul was waiting by her car; he knew it was hers because it hadn't changed since she bought it 12 years ago. He remembered how she preferred a bike to the car and had only bought it for practicality, he was sure her bike had changed numerous times in the 8 years that he had been absent from her life. His face was cold to her as she made her way slowly, battling against the wind. She unlocked the green BMW and without a word to him she climbed in and started the engine. He quickly got in beside her and made no attempt to speak to her either, instead he fastened his seatbelt and they drove away from the hospital.

The whole journey passed in silence, both thinking about what they were going to say; like a court case they would say their piece and wait for the judge's decision, only this time the judge was Erin and there was lots at stake. Jac wondered if there was a little more to what Erin had told her about the reason she had come back to her. She remembered how Paul was when they were married, but he always seemed so loving towards Erin; maybe that had all changed when Helen came along. They stopped outside the flats. Jac switched off the engine and sat back; Paul spoke first.

"You know I'll do anything to get her back?"

"Are you threatening me?" He didn't say anything back and instead got out of the car, closely followed by Jac, who was beginning to feel uneasy about the whole thing. Why had she agreed to this?

Erin sat on the sofa waiting for her mother to arrive home; she flicked through the channels as she had done that morning but she wasn't really paying attention to what was on any of them. She was busy thinking about her mother's guest. Her father was going to try and get her back but she wouldn't go; she heard the sound of the door opening the sound of her father's angry voice echoing in the hallway. She hadn't always been afraid to listen to his voice; in fact she used to love it when he read her stories when she missed her mother. But since he had met Helen the spite in his voice when she asked for something would make her afraid that one day he might go further than just shouting. The night she came to her mother's house was the day he did.

"There you are; what the hell were you thinking Erin?" Jac pushed past him and walked further into the living room, trying to read the expression on her daughter's face. "You got the train in the middle of the night; do you have any idea how worried I was?"

"I'm sorry."

"You're sorry, oh well that makes it all okay then does it?"

"Look Paul, why don't you just calm down. I have neighbours and it's late. Erin, why don't you help me make drinks?" Paul went to protest but gave up and sat down on the sofa as Jac beckoned her daughter to the kitchen where they talked in hushed voices.

"Erin, I really need you to talk to me now. Why did you really leave home?"

"I told you already." She spoke louder than Jac but looked at the ground which muffled her words.

"Are you sure that's the only reason? I know we don't know each other so well but believe me Erin, I know when there's something you're not telling me. Has he-"

"The night I came was after he hit me. It has only been since he met Helen that he has lost his temper more and more and, well I called Helen a bitch because she wouldn't stop Ben from ruining my things. He heard me and-"

"What's with the whispering?" Neither knew how long he had been stood leaning on the door frame. "Oh come on girls, you know it's rude." He had a sinister look in his eye that made chills run up Erin's spine.

"I know you hit her." This came out less confident than she had hoped.

"I got angry. She was-"

"She's a child! Our child, the one you took away from me and I let you because I thought you would look after her!" She was becoming more confident with every word that came from her mouth. This confidence was coming from the anger she felt at this man.

"I did more than you ever did for her!" He was coming closer and closer into the room, Jac had shielded Erin with her arm and she could feel her breathing getting faster and faster.

"You hit our child."

"So what? She deserved it!"

"How can you say that? You're just sick; you will never ever take her. I want you out of my house, now!" Paul just laughed and in the split second confusion that Jac felt at this reaction she was caught off-guard has his fist met her face. And then again. She fell backwards, hitting her head on the sink. Erin tried to hold her up but she didn't catch her in time. Jac was barely conscious lying on the cold kitchen floor. She saw him grab a knife from the counter; she didn't want to see this. She shut her eyes as though it would block out the pain. She could hear Erin screaming, and then a thud as something hit the ground beside her. The screaming slowed into sobbing. Then she couldn't hear anything at all.


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks for reading and reviewing, this will be my last update today haha! Please enjoy and HAVE A SUPER-DUPER CHRISTMAS! XD **

She opened her eyes, light streamed through and she couldn't make out the paramedics who were speaking, she hoped, to Erin. Yes, it was Erin. She couldn't do anything else but watch desperately as they told her to squeeze their hands. There was the knife that he had stuck in her chest, she wanted to pull it out but many years of being a medical professional had taught her that that would not be a wise decision. She tried as hard as she could to keep her eyes open and listen to what the paramedics were saying, but their words jumbled into a noise and darkness consumed her again.

She was being wheeled through what she could only assume was the ED. The paramedics were still there as was the knife in her chest. What was that woman called again, the paramedic? Why was this important? Where was Erin? She threw her hand off the trolley trying to reach for her, something held on to the other end. Small soft hands gripped her own, but she only felt it for a second before the lights went out again.

A Scottish voice was what next filled her ears as she once again managed to find the energy from somewhere to open her eyes. Her first thought was Jonny of course; a larger figure stood next to her confirmed that she had been moved to Darwin, Elliot was saying something in a panicked voice; she didn't know what. She hoped Jonny wasn't worrying. Someone needed to be calm in this situation. They would do some scans and then take her into theatre. Who did she want to operate on her? She could trust Elliot to save her, he needed someone to assist. Oliver? She had faith in him. She had faith in the both of them because right now she couldn't afford to be picky. Where was Jonny going now? She tried to speak. Her breath filled the mask that had been placed over her mouth. She hadn't noticed that the simplest reflex action of breathing had become so hard. Elliot looked at her, he didn't realise that she was awake.

"Jac, Jac can you hear me?" she made a noise that didn't sound like her, but she knew it was her because her breath filled the mask again.

"Mum?" A grip tightened on her hand, she used her other to pull off the mask that was restricting her voice.

"I'm okay… Elliot? Elliot?"

"Jac you need to keep your mask on." She found the energy to shake her head slightly, a pain so terrible engulfed her and she let out a small scream.

"What's going on?"

"Jac, you need to stop moving and put your mask back on!" She had never heard Elliot sound so authoritative. He forced the mask back over her mouth.

"Miss Effanga, do we have the scans yet for Ms Naylor?" She heard the ruffling of papers followed by the return of the Scottish voice. It sounded shaky, but calmer than Elliot was being. She wished they would just get the knife out of her, she could see the black handle almost perpendicular to her ribs, it had gone straight in, and hopefully this would make it better for the surgeons. Ric Griffin had experience with knife wounds, had they paged him? Breathing was now feeling like a chore, she just wanted to stop and rest…

Then there was no knife, no panic, she could breathe without difficulty and she was at home. They were clearing out Jac's office to make it into a bedroom for Erin. She walked through to the living room, there was a Christmas tree in the corner and there were presents underneath. She didn't recognise some of the ones addressed to her but she smiled at Erin's pile, which was at least three times the size of hers.

"Mum can you hurry up with those bags please?"

"Yeah, I'm just coming." She walked through to the kitchen and saw blood on the ground; she looked down at her ivory blouse which had been dyed red, soaked with blood. The knife was out but she was crashing, into life, into death?

"Elliot she is losing too much blood."

"Packs and suction now, come on, come on!" Elliot was frantically filling the whole in her chest with white pack which quickly turned red. A pale looking nurse stood beside him with the suction, but nothing was helping. It felt like hours that both he and Mo tried to get the bleeping machines to stop.

"Should I page Mr Griffin?"

"Yes that would be helpful." His tone was sharper than he had intended.

Jonny sat with Erin in the relatives' room. Her clothes were covered in her mother's blood and her hands were shaking. The police were waiting to talk to her but a formidable Jonny stopped them in their tracks. A shivering Erin had told Jonny her story not stopping for breath. He could see how scared she was and didn't want to make her feel worse by showing his own feelings; he was worrying sick. He had let her go to face that man when she was clearly worried about it, but how was he to know that this would happen? If she didn't survive then- no, he couldn't think like that; Erin needed her mum and he needed her too.

"Her stats are back to normal."

"Thank God. I almost thought we'd lost her."

"Well she's off the hook for now, but she's still critical."

"You know that's her daughter out there?"

"What? I didn't know she had a family."

"None of us did, she's kept it very quite. Apparently it was her ex-husband that stabbed her, and then the girl knocked him over the head with a chair." Mo was listening in to the consultants' conversation, also shocked by the news that the girl was her daughter; she must have been very young, and her husband! Mo couldn't imagine Jac settling down with anyone; she had of course heard about the Lord Byrne fiasco but she was still here and the man she had apparently loved was living in Wales or somewhere. She was wheeled out of the theatre and placed in the high dependency unit on Darwin.

Elliot walked into the relatives' room slowly, accompanied by the two policemen that Jonny had kept away before.

"Erin, Jac- Your mum is out of theatre now." Erin looked up, her eyes full of expectancy. "It went well, there was a small complication and we have to keep an eye on her during these next few hours." Erin nodded. "Now if you feel up to it, the police really need to talk to you about what happened. There's a man lying downstairs, your father I think, he is under police supervision but they really need a statement from you, or they will have to let him go." She just nodded again.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" Jonny spoke roughly because his voice hadn't been in use for a while and he was holding back all of his emotions.

"Yes please." The policemen walked in and Elliot left the room. Now Erin had to go through it all again, but at least that monster would be locked away, they would have the fingerprints from the knife to provide some evidence as well as her statement.

"Hello Erin I'm PC Dawson…"


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey everyone! Hope you're having a good day! You might get an update this afternoon if I have managed to beat my sister on Just Dance enough times ;) Enjoy and please review! :D**

News had spread quickly around the hospital; the gossip was not only about their colleague who lay in critical health, but also about her daughter who had not left her side since she had made her statement with the police.

"Apparently she lived with her dad until recently, that's why we haven't heard of her before." Chrissie was talking to Sacha in their break. "She told me the yesterday, before she left. Oh gosh I can't imagine Jac ever being in this sort of trouble, I mean, I don't think she would just let anybody hurt her, what I mean is she would have put up a fight. It must have been someone she knew, it was probably unexpected."

"Yeah, she'll be okay though Sacha." She hated seeing her husband like this; although she didn't care for Jac that much herself, she knew she was important to Sacha, and even she would never wish for her to be in this position. They had gone to see her soon after she got out of theatre. They didn't want to disturb the girl who sat holding her mother's hand so they stood at the doorway, talking to Elliot and Jonny.

AAU

"Michael, are you taking your break yet?" Serena had just watched Michael Spence finish charming his patients.

"Yeah, I thought I'd go up and see how Naylor's getting on. You heard about her kid?"

"Well of course I have, everybody is talking about it. I don't understand if I'm honest, your colleague has been stabbed and all you are talking about is her child."

"Ah Naylor will be fine, she's come through worse," he tried to convince himself, "but the fact that she has a kid, now _that_ is crazy!"

"It _is_ amazing she managed to keep her private life so private for such a long period of time."

"Exactly; I trust that Elliot did a good job on her, I heard that there was bleed but he and Ric sorted it, so I reckon she will be fine. I never had you down as the concerned colleague type anyway." Michael walked out of the office smirking to himself, but his facial expression turned serious as he looked in on Jac, lying frail in her bed and a slightly younger version of herself sat holding her mother's hand.

Keller

"Yo Chantelle, you heard about Naylor?" Malick strolled into the nurses' station at Keller to have gossip with his friend.

"Oh God I know, it's terrible isn't it? And her daughter must have been so scared; I know I would have been. She was so brave though, she knocked the guy out with a chair. I would have just stood there shaking!"

"Yeah, well they've got the guy downstairs; hopefully he'll be put away for a long time. Not even the Ice Queen deserves what she got."

"Oh Mr Griffin, how's Ms Naylor?" Ric had walked back on to the ward after being absent for some time.

"So far so good, but they're keeping an eye on her."

"Oh I think she'll be fine, she's a tough one!" Chantelle's cheerful face filled the group with positivity about their colleague.

Darwin

The interrogation had stopped and Erin was allowed to sit with Jac; she held her hand and hoped for her to wake up. She spent the whole day like this, ignoring the visitors that popped their heads round the door. She noticed, out of the corner of her eye, their double-takes at her; obviously her mother didn't speak about her at work. That didn't bother her though; she had been absent for eight years and she could imagine the questions that would have been asked. She looked back to the bed and to her mother. Her skinny frame looked even more frail than usual and the ends of her hair had soaked up some of the blood; she wore a mask over her face to help her breath and there were machines surrounding her, none of which she had any idea as to what they did.

Elliot continued working as though it were just another patient in her bed, but they all knew it wasn't. Every time a member of staff from another ward came to see how she was doing, he would jump back to his post as though he had been given an excuse to leave his other patients. As much as they had had their disagreements in the past, he believed that their was good in Jac and he had seen it, far too infrequently, but he had seen in. Mo, Tara and Oliver would keep an eye on Jac if there was nobody else, but they all had their own patients too; it was Jonny who had watched over her from the nurses' station or the doorway the most.

Jonny had checked up on Jac the most time, concerned that she hadn't yet woken up was filling all of the Darwin team, but they didn't show it as much as Jonny; they got on with their work. Elliot had told him to go home, or at least change into normal clothes so he could go sit with her without being disturbed. He couldn't though because of the little girl who had already taken that spot. Instead he hovered around the nurses' station, always keeping one eye on Jac. He thought he noticed a change, but he was so tired that it was just a trick of the eye, he rushed into the room and Erin looked up at him with a panicked expression.

"Sorry...I thought...Sorry." he went to walk away.

"You can come in if you want." She had turned back to Jac; Jonny took the invitation and sat opposite her.

**I know it's a bit shorter than my other chapters but I think this was an appropriate ending to the chapter :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hope everyone had a lovely Christmas! THAT CHRISTMAS EP WAS AMAZING! :') Enjoy this chapter, I feel that this is nearing the end now. Please read and review :)**

They sat in silence for a while before Erin couldn't take the silence any longer.

"Are you her boyfriend?" Jonny looked up, surprised that this was the first thing she wanted to say to him.

"No." He didn't expand, their relationship was complicated, but he wasn't her boyfriend.

"So why are you so concerned?" She raised her eyebrow, reminding Jonny of her mother; he just smiled and she focussed again on Jac. Erin wondered what would happen to her if Jac didn't wake up. She wouldn't have any parents to take care of her, would she be put into the care system? That's where her mother had been raised from when she was 12 years old; her mother hadn't abandoned her though, she had been trying to protect her. She closed her eyes and was back in the kitchen watching her father -no, watching the monster grab the knife, she'd tried to hold Jac up after he hit her but her mother's arm had pushed her to the side before he could harm her, then she fell to the ground. Paul wasn't even concentrating on Erin when he grabbed it, she had tried to stop him but was too slow in dragging the stool and lifting it over her head, then sending it crashing over his. He fell to the ground next to her mother. She stopped screaming. She felt something move in her hand. She opened her eyes and felt her fingers being squeezed together.

"Mum? Mum? Can you hear me?"

"Erin? What happened?" Jonny came out of his daydream and rushed over to her side of the bed.

"She squeezed my fingers."

"Hello, Jac? Can you hear me? If you can hear me squeeze my hand." They both held one of her hands each and Erin's face expressed hope as she felt a slight squeeze again.

"Is she waking up?" Jonny didn't know what to say, he had seen this happen so many times and end either way, he didn't want to fill this girl with hope and yet he himself was quite excited by the possibility that she could in fact be waking up.

"I don't know. Let me get Elliot!" He ran out of the room like an excited child. He rushed to the office and forgot to knock in his urgency.

"Elliot! It's Jac, she's responding to sound, I think." Jonny was only sure Elliot was there behind the huge pile as he could hear a sighing followed by frustrated clicks on the mouse of his computer. His head popped round the side of the tower of files.

"Let me see." He got out of his chair and less energetically than Jonny, he followed the nurse to the room where Jac lay. Erin was talking to her but Jonny pulled her away so Elliot could see what was going on. Both Erin and Jonny looked on intently.

"Jac? Jac it's Elliot, if you can hear me, can you squeeze my hand?" Her thin fingers gripped his own large hand and a smile spread across his face.

"Jac, can you try and open your eyes for me?" He looked at her eyes which were whizzing around under her eyelids. They fluttered for a moment before coming still once more. She squeezed his hand again, a sign that she was trying.

"It's okay Jac, just try one more time?" her eyes spun around under her eyelids and her eyelashes brushed together as she forced open one and then the other. They opened just millimetres but it was enough for all of their faces to break into huge grins.

She started mumbling something that was undecipherable to all of them; she pulled off her mask and looked around the room, her eyes stopped on Jonny for just a moment before they moved again finding Erin and relief was clear in her face.

"Are you okay?" these first words came slowly and with a lot of effort on her part, she was talking to Erin and her voice and face were full of concern.

"I'm fine. You're the one we should be worrying about." Erin smiled at Jac who tried sitting up in bed; this was a lot more difficult than she had anticipated and Jonny and Elliot both helped her up.

"What happened?" Jonny and Elliot looked at each other, worried that she had completely forgotten the events and they would have to recap.

"You were stabbed, Jac-"

"You don't say?" Jac tried a laugh but was halted by pain, "I meant afterwards." Erin shifted in her seat.

"I tried to stop him from stabbing you but he was too fast," she spoke nervously as though her mother would blame her, "then he was too busy to notice I had gone round the back of him. I grabbed one of your stools and hit him. He fell next to you and I was panicking. I tried to sort out your wound but I had no idea; I went completely blank and it took me a while to realise I had to call an ambulance." She was sobbing slightly as she spoke and Jac reached out her hand.

"Hey kid, I'm fine! You're fine and he will never be able to come near you again, okay?" Erin just nodded and Jac pulled her into a very uncomfortable hug. "I'm so sorry I ever let him take you away." Jac whispered into the ginger hair she was now stroking. Elliot motioned for himself and Jonny to leave. Jac looked up and gave one last smile to Jonny before looking down again upon her daughter. She worried that she had let her down, another person to add to the list. This time though she couldn't hide the blame, she couldn't hide the fact that she let him into her home when she believed there was a dangerous side that he was concealing. She should have done more to protect her daughter, she had been weak; this time though she couldn't bury her feelings deep inside her, she needed to make it right. She needed to learn from her mistakes because she knew that now more than ever, she would have to be there for her daughter.


	13. Chapter 13

**Thanks for reading and reviewing :) I realise that Christmas has been and gone but I really couldn't resist :') ENJOY! and please review **

It was only a week before Jac Naylor had had enough of being stuck in the hospital and so discharged herself, against the wishes of her colleagues. Erin had tried to go back home but she couldn't sleep there, her mind filling with the memories of what had happened and Paul haunting her dreams so Jonny somehow managed to get permission for Erin to stay at the hospital. Jac and Erin had missed Christmas, which Jac was very disappointed about after they had bought a tree, and Jac had gone all-out on the Christmas presents. However, she decided that she was going to have Christmas on New Year's Eve; Erin had volunteered to help her cook. Jac was looking forward to her first proper Christmas in eight years, even if she was recovering from a stabbing. She tried to keep this as far from her mind as she set about shopping for Christmas things; this proved quite difficult due to it being the post-Christmas sales. She had Erin with her just in case something happened, and also because she was smaller version of herself and could squeeze in to grab the last leg of lamb. Jac had never been traditional when it came to the meat on Christmas. She had always hated turkey, it was too dry. Then again that might have just been Paul's cooking. Lamb was the best alternative seeing as everybody had already filled up on turkey on the real Christmas day. That was what Erin had said; Jac wondered what she meant by everyone, because she hadn't yet been informed that Jonny, that nice nurse who she's pretty sure her mother has a thing with and Sacha and his family, who had brought her some of their boxing day dinner because, although her and her mother had been invited, were otherwise engaged because of the whole stabbing fiasco.

"I though you would have preferred it to be just us."

"Christmas is about family and it's not only me who is part of that mum. You've clearly made an impact on these people, hard to say whether it's positive-"

"Oi! Enough of the cheek kid. Fine, well you are in charge of the seating then. I hope you realise that Sacha's wife is _the_ _most_ irritating person?"

"Yes, you've only told me that a billion times since I met him."

"I just want to reiterate the point; now do you think we should do mash and roast potatoes?"

"Yeah, we have a mixture of guests."

"Yeah, thanks to you." Jac rolled her eyes and Erin pulled a face back.

Having finally bought the ingredients for a fantastic would-be-Christmas evening, the girls got started on the preparation which was quite difficult seeing as neither of them had a clue what they were doing. They had been preparing for quite a while and Erin had to suppress her yawns while they peeled the potatoes, which was a very yawn provoking task. It wasn't before long that Jac had to go and rest, leaving Erin to prepare the table and the seating. While sat on the sofa watching Miranda that she had found on iPlayer, Jac noticed Erin looking a few times over to her presents, which had been there for just over a week and yet had not been touched. She had argued that it was after Christmas so she should be able to open them, but Jac even in her injured state played the parent card and so Erin had to wait until after dinner for the gifts to be opened. During Erin's previous snooping through the presents she had noticed a few for the nurse who Jac was so obviously seeing but swore blind she wasn't, there was also one for Sacha under the tree; all the presents from Jac were gift-wrapped in the same silver wrapping paper, while those from herself were in a snowflake-patterned navy blue gift-wrap. Jac was also quite curious as to what her presents were, but she wasn't a child and she could be patient...

"I can see you looking you know!" Erin grinned and Jac saw her reflection in the huge mirror on the wall, "One present each? This isn't me giving in though!"

Once the silver paper had been torn away on the biggest present that Erin could see with her name on it, the newest IPad had been revealed which Erin was very pleased with; the perks of having a consultant for a mother! Jac ripped away at her own paper which when torn away left an old band t-shirt.

"Oh my God!"

"Ooh, I'm glad you opened that one!" Erin put down her present and sat next to her mother on the sofa. "It's yours; it had been packed into my things by mistake when we left, I couldn't throw it away."

"You have no idea how long I spent looking for this!"

"I'm not surprised, I remember you telling me about the concert you went to when you got it. I don't think I quite understood why you were so excited by the fact that it got signed, then again I _was_ only seven!"

"That was an amazing concert. I was pregnant with you at the time, it was one of the only times I had gone out on my own; Paul hated them." At the mention of his name, Erin became uncomfortable about this story.

"Mum, as much as I would love to hear this story for the hundredth time, we have dinner to cook and I'm pretty sure people will be here soon too." And with that Erin stood up, leaving Jac reminiscing with her Oasis t-shirt still in hand. Feeling guilty, which was a feeling she only ever felt around Erin, Jac decided to get up and hep her daughter finish off in the kitchen, but before she could, there was a buzz on the intercom.

"They're a bit early!" Erin shouted through from the kitchen. Jac shrugged and made her way to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Hey it's Jonny."

"Hmm, you're a bit early."

"Ah sorry, do you want me to go back home and come back later?" She could hear the sarcasm in his voice and for one moment considered not letting him in for pure cheek. She pressed the button though and a few moments later he arrived with a large bag.

"Hello Andy."

"Sex pest."

"Inappropriate." Erin had appeared out of nowhere, "Yeah, I do see what you mean mum."

"See what?" Jonny looked confused.

"Andy Murray." Jac mirrored the smirk on Erin's face.

"Coming in? Or do you want your dinner beside the door?" Jonny followed Jac and Erin through to the lounge and put the bag beside the tree, before pulling a bottle of wine from it and placing it on the coffee table.

"I thought I'd come early to see if you needed any help, you know 'cause of the-" he just pointed at Jac.

"Yeah, she isn't that great a cook so your help is much appreciated." This time it was Jonny's turn to smirk.


	14. Chapter 14

**I hope you all have a wonderful 2013! Please review, thank you for all the reviews, follows, favourites :D Enjoy! :)**

After somehow managing to seat six people around Jac's tiny dining table, including one child and the 'most irritating person in the world', Erin did agree with this actually, they finally got down to the dinner that Erin, who had more help from Jonny in the last half an hour than she had from Jac all day, had prepared. Jac of course protested that she had just recovered from being stabbed and, if she was going to be pedantic, she ought to not be doing anything at all.

"A toast before we eat?" Sacha's voice bellowed cheerfully over Daniel's chattering to everyone, Erin's laughter and Jac and Jonny's talking. Everybody was silent and they raised their glasses, "To the Naylors and a wonderful 2013!"

"Here, here!" Jac almost blushed and glasses clinked together before crackers were pulled and both Jonny and Sacha got started on the awful jokes.

"What illness do you get at Christmas? Tinsel-itis!"

"Oh God, these really are terrible, next year I think we'll go for the jokeless ones, what do you think mum?" Erin mumbled to her mother who was sat beside her. Erin now had a green party hat on top of her head, courtesy of Jonny, who was sat on her other side and was reading more jokes, as well as eating; whoever said that men couldn't multitask?

It was getting late and although they had planned to see the new year in, Sacha and his family had to go home because of little Daniel. Jac saw them to the door and Sacha gave her a big kiss on the cheek. She hadn't him their bag of presents which they had forgotten to open. Sacha had a new shirt; one that contrasted to the rest of his wardrobe in the way that it didn't belong in the 80s and a set of 'Mock the Week' books. Chrissie had not been high on Jac's list and received a bottle of wine and a box of chocolates while Daniel got a book that made noises and some chocolate coins.

"Merry Christmas!"

"Happy New Year! I hope Chrissie's driving." Jac raised her eyebrows in Chrissie's direction, who laughed and nodded. She waved goodbye to a sleepy Daniel and Chrissie who was struggling under the weight of him, and she hugged Sacha as he threw himself at her.

"Yep, Sacha wounded and that." She winced slightly as he got off her and followed his wife out of the building.

"Only an 30 minutes before 2013!" Jonny shouted as he helped Erin clear the table.

"Shall we do the presents then?" Jac had heard him from the hallway and walked through into the living room. Jonny grinned as they walked over to the tree and he picked up his large bag of presents.

"For you; I wasn't really sure what you'd like so I went for a safe option." He handed an envelope, which contained an ITunes voucher, and a box-shaped present to Erin, who in return handed him a gift which looked very much like chocolates. He then handed the bag to Jac, who pulled out... a Build-a-Bear box. She looked at him in disbelief.

"Really Jonathan?"

"Open it." She pulled out a brown bear dressed in a doctor's coat with a stethoscope round its neck and a crown on top of its head. "For the queen of Darwin Ward. I was going to go for a devil's horns and tail but they'd run out; someone already bought you a bear then?" He winked and she just laughed. Before opening the rest of the presents in the bag, she handed him one of his gifts from her.

"Open it." She said with the same smirk he had sported as she had opened the bag.

"Very funny." The wrapping paper had revealed a child's set of plastic tennis rackets and sponge ball.

"Now when it's sunny Jonny, we can go play, but not in the house!"

"Wow, I have seen high school girls flirt less than you two." Erin rolled her eyes and continued opening her other presents.

"Erm, yeah; your real present is at the bottom in an envelope." Jonny grinned, looking slightly embarrassed.

"Under the tree." Jac smiled back and pulled out a blue envelope from the bottom of the bag.

"What've you got?" having finished opening her own, Erin became interested in the contents of her mother's blue envelope. Jac pulled out two pieces of paper.

"I have here... Foo Fighter tickets." She looked at Jonny who was opening his present, "Jonny, you have spent way too much."

"And you haven't?" after finally opening the wrapping he produced a very expensive-looking watch.

"You said you needed a new watch."

"Well I just thought you and Erin would like to go. I have been in theatre enough times with you to know that you like them, Oasis, The Killers and I'm pretty sure a Take That song was playing one time-" Jonny raised his eyebrows at Erin who laughed, that really was quite odd.

"It was on shuffle and actually it was a good song. Just the one though, I swear."

"Yep, sure. I bet if I looked through your IPod I would find their greatest hits. Maybe a bit of Westlife on there too?"

"Not guilty." Jac held her hands up, "Thank you for the tickets. Erin, it's in April next year, you'll probably be off for Easter right?"

"Yeah maybe, except I'm not a big fan of the Foo Fighters, thank you for the thought Jonny, but maybe you could take someone else mum?" She nodded her head in Jonny's direction.

"Jonny?"

"Well I have acquired a taste for them now so maybe it wouldn't be so bad."

"Sorted. Okay presents done, I am going to get another bottle of wine, no Erin you are not having any, and we'll put the countdown on shall we?" Jac walked off to the kitchen, leaving Erin alone with Jonny ready to give him some advice.

"So, nearly 2013; got any resolutions?" Jonny asked as he put the countdown on the TV.

"Okay, I'm going to be very forward here. What is stopping you from being with my mum? It is quite obvious that you both like each other, oh come on you two have been flirting all night." Jonny opened his eyes wide.

"That obvious?"

"It couldn't be more obvious. If it's me, I don't have a problem with it. My mum is entitled to be with someone; I bet she's pushed you away because of me. Am I right?" This girl was very wise; Jonny nodded before he knew what he was doing.

"She just wants to be your mum for a bit; no distractions. The whole thing with your- with Paul," he quickly changed what he was going to say noticing the look on Erin's face, "you haven't been in her life for what, eight years? I think she just wants to be there for you now-"

"It doesn't make any difference to me whether she does that alone or with somebody. I know that after what happened, she will always be there for me. It's up to you, but I really think that it's worth talking to her about it at least."

"I don't think she'll listen to me."

"Then I'll tell her."

"Sorry about that, I was washing the glasses." Jac walked in and handed a bottle of Pepsi to Erin and put both glasses on the table. "What were you two talking about? Sounded serious."

"Nope, nothing. Just New Year's resolutions."

"Nobody ever sticks to those and you know it. You register with a gym in January and by February you're sick of it and you would rather sit down, watch TV with a packet of crisps." Both Erin and Jonny looked round and Jac and raised an eyebrow.

"As if you have ever sat in front of the TV with a packet of crisps."

"Okay, well not me; my gym membership has been worn out. But you know, other people."

"Yeah, my gym membership was really worthwhile too." Jonny said sarcastically as he shot a look at Erin who just smirked.

"Okay, quiet now a minute to go!"

"It's customary to kiss as it turns midnight." Erin was sat on the floor in front of the sofa and looked round to see Jac and Jonny exchange glances. "I'll keep facing this way, just in case." She winked at her mother who glared at her, and she turned back around to face the TV.

"10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! Happy New Year!" they all shouted in unison and as Erin turned slightly, she was sure she could see a kiss being shared out of the corner of her eye.


	15. Chapter 15

**Thank you for all the reviews, they are really nice :) Would you guys prefer a continuation or a sequel? Probably a couple more chapters of this then I want to do another part with the same characters but a different plot, so tell me what you'd prefer :) Enjoy and please review! **

"Nurse Maconie, can I have half-hourly obs on Miss Thomson and can you check if my next patient has been prepped." It was straight back to work for Jac after losing her mind staying at home for a whole week. Erin had started her new sixth form too this week so she wasn't just going to sit around at home.

"Yep sure. Are you busy tonight?"

"What?"

"My sister's birthday, would you and Erin like to come with me?" It had been a whole week since they had shared their New Year's kiss but neither of them talked about it.

"I will have to ask Erin but I'm pretty sure her last exam was today, yeah I have to call her." She started to walk away but looked back, "I'll ask her now, what's the dress?"

"Black tie she said, so that's a nice dress for you girlies." Jac turned away and didn't see Jonny beaming, but Mo did.

"Oi Jonny-Mac, why are you grinning like the Cheshire cat?"

"So how do you think it went?" Jac was now in her office, and had got through to Erin after the fourth try.

"It was alright actually, other people were moaning about it but to be honest I thought it was a really good paper."

"And you think you've done well in your other modules?"

"I hope so, maths was a bit tricky but I can re-sit in June."

"Yeah I know but you want good grades now because you're going to have a lot on in June as well."

"Yeah I know, but just in case."

"Alright, well Jonny's invited us out tonight; do you feel up to it? His sister's birthday I think he said."

"Yeah sounds alright; are you his date?"

"Erin, we are just friends. That imaginary kiss you 'saw' on New Years is clouding your judgements."

"I saw a kiss meaning you're a little more than friends." Jac could sense Erin's smirk over the phone.

"Right I'm going, well done and I will see you later. Do you want me to pick you up?"

"Yes please, I finish at half four."

"I'll be there, see you later."

"Bye!" Jac found herself smiling at her daughter's cheery mood and this confused everyone on Darwin ward as she strolled out of her office.

"Nurse Maconie is Valentine busy?"

"No I don't think so."

"Okay, tell him he's assisting me in theatre in 10 minutes."

"Okay will do. Did you speak to Erin?"

"She said she'd love to come."

"Good, party starts at half seven. What about her exam?"

"A good paper apparently. She is so laid back about the whole thing she could be horizontal I swear."

"Well that's good as long as she isn't too lax about revision."

"I made her revise so she should be fine, just feeling confident probably. So," she lowered her voice a little bit, "Tonight, am I your date?" Jonny was quite taken aback.

"I..." Jac smiled and turned around.

"You can pick us up at seven." Jac walked away to prepare herself for theatre.

Erin had been ready for half an hour and was just waiting on her mother who had been through her whole wardrobe and couldn't find the right outfit.

"Mum, we went shopping the other day and you bought loads of stuff in the sales, just pick something!" Erin was shouting through to her mother's bedroom while she sat patiently on the sofa.

"I didn't buy dresses!"

"Do you want me to come and help?"

"That would be great seeing as he will be here in ten minutes and I have no idea what I am wearing!"

"And you said you weren't his date." Erin mumbled to herself as she got off the sofa. "Just put on those black jeans that you had on before!" Jac's wardrobe had been emptied on to her bed and she was rummaging through the pile desperately.

"It's dressy he said! You're wearing a dress and if I turn up in jeans it will look like I haven't made an effort." Erin picked up the two nearest dresses to her.

"Navy or red. Choose one." Jac grabbed them both and held them up whilst looking in the mirror. "Navy, definitely. Now hurry up! You're making a lot of fuss for someone who isn't his date."

"Maybe I lied about being his date," She let Erin smirk before shooing her out of the room, "now go wait in the living room and stall."

Soon after Jonny buzzed on the intercom and a very cheery Erin answered.

"Hello, is this my mother's date? Before you come up I want to know what your intentions are."

"I intend to take you both to my sister's party and do some dancing." Jonny said sarcastically. Erin didn't approve of his tone so waited a moment before she buzzed him in and then opened the door ready for him. He walked in wearing a black suit and tie. Jac would have looked out of place if she worn those jeans.

"Hey, you're looking very sauve!" Erin laughed at him.

"That is not a word anyone has ever used to describe me." Jonny laughed back, "You are looking lovely yourself little Naylor." Erin rolled her eyes; this was Jonny's pet name for her after it had come into fashion on New Year's eve. "Don't tell me your mum is still getting ready?" Jonny raised his eyebrows as Erin just nodded and shrugged.

"Actually, I'm ready now." Jac walked out of her bedroom to greet Jonny in the navy dress which reached knee-length at the front and almost floor-length at the back. Black heels made allowed her to be four or five inches taller than she usually was and her hair had been left down and soft orange curls erupted from her head. Her green eyes were accentuated by different shades of eye-shadow and mascara and her cheekbones were as emphasized as ever with the addition of a slight blusher. This whole ensemble just earned one word from Jonny.

"Wow."


	16. Chapter 16

**Please enjoy this last chapter :) There will be a sequel after exam period :D Thank you for all your reviews/favourites etc! :)**

A taxi was waiting for them outside as Jonny explained that he would be drinking and so he couldn't take his car. Jac and Erin squeezed into the back while Jonny got in the front ready to give directions.

"So how old is your sister?"

"40, I'm the baby of the family." He turned round flashing them a cheesy smile. The taxi ride was uncomfortable for Jac as she found herself worrying what his family would think of her. She already knew about his parents, but he had two sisters who would both be there and she had no idea what they would make of her and her daughter. She didn't have to wait as the journey was quite short; they pulled up at a huge house and Jac's worries increased.

"C'mon, you getting out of the car or not?" Jac looked apprehensive as she finally got out of the car.

"When you said party I didn't know you meant like a _party_"

Jonny shook his head and held his arm out for Jac, she looked at him for a second before turning to Erin who had that smirk on. Jac grabbed his arm and let him lead them both up the path. "Well I thought black-tie might give it away. She's doing it for this charity she started, that's why it's so big. No presents just donations and she wants to make more people aware of it."

"I didn't bring that much out with me!" Erin just laughed as she followed them towards the door.

"It's fine, I've sorted it." He patted his jacket and Jac heard the sound of crumpling paper.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, now stop worrying." Jac zipped her mouth and walked inside the huge house.

"Whoa!" Erin mouthed as they entered into the biggest room. There were people everywhere and she had already spotted some people her age that she was sure she could go and chat to if she felt she was becoming a third wheel.

"Hey! There he is!" A woman around the same height as Jac walked hurriedly towards them. "You must be Jac, he's told us all about you!" The woman held out her free hand, "I'm Lorraine, Jonathan's sister. This is Michael, my husband. Oh and this must be Erin, nice to meet you." Jac shook the woman's hand. Lorraine had a huge grin on her face and Jac had wondered why she was even worried at all.

"Happy birthday." Jonny gave his sister a hug before shaking Michael's hand, "Where are the kids?"

"Oh they're in here somewhere, you will be able to find James straight away, he has grown so much since the last time you saw him!"

"Well we will go and find them so you can go talk to all your guests."

"Lovely to meet you two!" Jonny's sister smiled and led her husband away from them and through the crowd.

"So that was my sister."

"Who's heard so much about me?" Jac raised a quizzical eyebrow and smiled at him.

As thought one wasn't enough, Jonny's other sister had spotted him in the crowds and was now making her way over along with a small child.

"Jonny!"

"Hey Sarah and who is this chap?"

"It's Matthew uncle Jonny, you remember me!" He smiled showing his teeth and the space where his two front ones should have been but were now just pink empty spaces.

"No way, you are way too tall to be Matthew!"

"It is me!"

"My goodness, you have got so tall!" he ruffled his hair, "Later how about a kick about round the back?"

"Yeah, okay!"

"Jonny, you're being rude, introduce me?" Sarah was now looking at Jac with a smile.

"This is my-"

"I'm Jac and this is my daughter Erin." Jac smiled and reached out her hand first to Sarah and then to the little boy, "Lovely to meet you." Erin smiled and also shook hands with the woman.

"Oh you're Jac! Lorraine has been telling me about you!" Jac once again looked towards Jonny, "Don't worry, it's all nice! I've been living in America for a while so I've only just got all the gossip, and of course Jonny here doesn't usually do family events so I have to find out from elsewhere!"

"Hey I'm here aren't I?! You girls and your gossip!" Jonny rolled his eyes.

"Oh Jac, you haven't even got a drink, come with me and we'll have a nice chat too!" Sarah led away Jac who was unsure of what was going to happen and turned to face Jonny, pulling a mock scared face.

"_That_, cannot be good for you." Erin giggled as Jonny's face fell.

"No, it can't. Do you want to come and get some food with me?"

"Yeah sure." Erin smiled and followed him.

"So Jac," Sarah said as she passed her a glass of white wine, "You work with Jonny right?"

"Yeah, we work on the same ward." Jac sat next to the woman at the table she had picked. The one closest to the drinks.

"And you met him there?" Jac remembered the first time she had encountered Jonny and it certainly hadn't been on a hospital ward.

"Actually we were both at a conference, it was just a coincidence that he turned up on my ward soon after."

"It must be awkward at work then." The woman laughed.

"What do you mean?"

"Ah you know, you two together. I would say office romance but I bet it's a lot busier!"

"Oh right yeah, I see what you mean now." Jac was smiling, both inwardly and outwardly.

"I'm glad he's found someone, he's a great guy Jac."

"Yeah I know." Jac took a sip from her drink, concealing her growing smile.

"Sorry," Sarah had just noticed something, "Matthew! Matthew! Sorry Jac, kids eh? Speak to you later!" she got up and started 'running' in ridiculously high heels to wear her son had been spotted filling his mouth with mini chocolate éclairs. Jac also got up and started looking for Jonny, she didn't have to look for very far as she quickly spotted him on the dance floor, Erin not far away, cringing at the side and talking to a boy.

"Jonny, you look ridiculous!" Jac had made her way through the crowd to where he was dad-dancing, on his own.

"No I don't. You love it!" He grabbed her hands and spun her around. She let out a laugh.

"So what have you girls been saying about me."

"Not much," she grinned, "She didn't have the chance to spill all of your secrets because Matthew was gorging himself on mini éclairs."

"Ah a boy after my own heart."

"She did say one thing though," Jonny raised his eyebrows expectedly, "What have you been telling people about us eh?" Jonny grinned.

"I hope you don't mind."

"Well… if you're going to tell people then you should make it a bit more realistic." Jac smirked before allowing him to kiss her.


	17. Chapter 17

**Hey there! I know I said after exams but this is what Maths procrastination looks like ;) this is sort of a continuation but it has a different plot to the other chapters, if you would prefer me to do a different story please say so, if not I will just carry on with this one :) Enjoy and please review! :) **

"So you're going on a holiday with Erin in the Easter holidays and you want me to come?" Jac and Jonny stood in the locker room having arrived at work. It looked as though they had arrived at the same time but Jac had actually gone home alone last night as Erin was at a friend's and Jonny had promised Mo he would go out with her. Jac arrived on her bike just as Jonny was pulling up in his black Golf and they had walked into the hospital together.  
"Well I just thought it might be a nice idea, I thought couples went on holidays?"  
Jonny shrugged. Both felt as though they were in a proper relationship with the other but neither of them had actually said it. Three words that Jonny wanted to say every time he kissed her, or every time she looked at him with those eyes, every time she did anything really. He loved everything about her. He couldn't decide if it was too fast considering they had been 'seeing' each other on and off since he began working at Holby, which was almost eight months ago, but had only really starting calling themselves couple a few weeks ago. Some people would be living together, some would have proposed and some would have been married in eight months. But he still hadn't said the three words. He didn't quite know what was stopping him; it could have been the fact that Jac Naylor wasn't a very sentimental person and he was scared about her reaction, she would push him further away, he was sure. What would happen if she didn't? Would she say it back? How would their relationship progress? This was optimistic thinking as he thought about her real reaction and how far away it would be from 'I love you too, what's next?'  
"I have had it planned for a while, thought it might be nice to go away after her exams. Of course we can't do February because it's too soon but Easter holidays there's still time to organise and book." Jac smiled as she put her bike helmet into her locker.  
"Are you sure you want me to come?"  
"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want you to." She stopped putting her things away and looked straight at him, "I want you to come." He smiled back at her and pulled her into a hug; nowadays they were quite different to the pair who would hook up in the store cupboard; although they had done that a couple of times since New Years.

They finally got to work on the ward after getting distracted by such a trip to the store room; Oliver smirked at them as they emerged together. Jonny grabbed Jac's hand unawares in response to Oliver's facial expression which quickly changed to one of surprise as Jac Naylor didn't pull away. She did look at him with a glare, but her hand remained fixed until she left him at the nurses' station and strolled into her office. It was going to be a busy day, she thought as she sat down and logged in to her emails. She looked at the list of many from Serena Campell and then from Henrik Hanssen who, had finally come back to Holby last week after she retrieved him from Sweden. She read the standard ones about meetings and lists and… new staff. Jac clicked on this one with interest as she was unsure why she had received such an email. She skimmed through the message from Serena, telling her about a student nurse who had a placement on Darwin for two weeks. She was going to need to put them under the supervision of the senior staff nurse so could she make Nurse Maconie aware of this? She clicked it shut, it having been of very little interest to her. Looking beyond her work messages she noticed she had received a long awaited email from a community centre that was willing to host Erin's 17th birthday party in a month's time. Jac let a smile form on her face before once again closing the email. She scanned the others before closing the window; there was nothing more of interest to her. She exited the office just as Elliot walked past her with a doughnut and a computer tablet. His smile was awkward with a large amount of doughnut in his mouth "Morning Jac!" he somehow managed to say. Jac pulled a face as doughnut was sprayed in front of her.  
"Elliot." She nodded her head and left him to lose that tablet on his desk amongst the piles of paper and other random things that had been long forgotten.

Oliver was off today and Jac had to do her utmost to avoid Tara so she had given her the opportunity to assist Mo in theatre; mainly because Jac wasn't that keen on Mo or Tara and she needed a bit of fun to start the day. Unfortunately for her that left her with the ward round; which was always rather tedious for such a surgeon.

She got started on a patient with an irregular heartbeat; although her earlier thought had been true, busy didn't necessarily mean exciting. She was accompanied by Jonny as she made her way through patients, finally finding something interesting. Jonny watched her as she explained the condition and surgical procedures to the patient and her eyes lit up as she did so, he loved how passionate she got about everything especially her work; he could see that this was everything to her. As much as she loved this side of the job, she wasn't so brilliant at bedside manner and the excitement in her eyes gave this away as she explained the risks. "I love you." Jac stopped talking abruptly and stared at him as he realised that what he thought he had said in his head, had actually fallen out of his mouth with a laugh quietly enough for Jac to hear him, but the old lady in the bed to be completely oblivious. His eyes widened in the slight horror that he felt as he realised what he had actually said. Not so much the fact that it was in front of a patient, but in front of Jac.


	18. Chapter 18

**Thanks to Hi-World for all of your reviews and good luck with your exams! Please enjoy everyone and please review :)**

"Luckily for you that woman is partially deaf; not very professional, proclaiming your love is it?" her facial expression gave nothing away and Jonny was unsure of whether she was about to stab him with her cheekbones or break into a smile and tell him she loved him too. He just stood in front of her outside the patient's room, waiting for a sign as to what would befall him next. She shook her head at him but he was quite sure he saw a smile form on her face as she walked back into the room, Mrs Willows' face changing from confusion to a grin as she did so.  
"Right Mrs Willows, my colleague here is going to monitor you for a while before we take you into theatre." Jac enunciated loudly and ushered Jonny back into the room. He shuffled in, still looking quite embarrassed and smiled at Mrs Willows, whose eyes brightened.  
"You have a lovely smile young man; I bet you have a good-looking girl don't you?" Jac smiled and left Jonny to charm the woman some more.

"Her family has just arrived, should I take them to the relatives' room or,"  
"No, let them see her before, we have a little bit of time." Jonny was one of the only people in the hospital to see the soft side of Jac, the one who not only cared about her patients but empathised with them too. Many would accuse her of being a heartless cow, if they admitted that she even had a heart, but he could see past the charade now, mainly because she was letting him in. Jac watched as Jonny led a small group of people into the room where Mrs Willows lay, her face lit up as they walked in. The tallest must have been her husband; a round fellow with white hair and glasses. He was accompanied by a woman about the same age as Jac who must have been her daughter she was stood next to a man who was probably her brother, Jac deducted as they shared the same hair colour and facial features. She would have previously envied the family scene, even if they were surrounding a sick mother or father or daughter or son. But in the past month everything had changed for her; Erin was around when she was at home, and she had turned into quite the domestic queen having to cook and clean when she wasn't working. Then there was Jonny, who she was, admittedly falling in love with. Or had she already fallen? She thought about his outburst earlier and even thinking about it made her smile. She quickly snapped out of her thoughts and wiped the smile off her face, looking around to see if anyone had witnessed their leader in transient thought. Jonny had. He had left the family to talk for a few minutes before Mrs Willows was to be taken into theatre.

"What you smiling at?"  
"I wasn't. Must be your imagination."  
"Nope, there was a definite smile there. I was obviously on your mind." He grinned cheekily.  
"Actually I was thinking about my other lover who I'm seeing tonight."  
"It's a good job you picked tonight because I'm busy too with my bit on the side." Jonny played along.  
"You never know, I might cancel, you should keep your plans open just in case." Jac winked and left to get ready for theatre. Jonny had to go and alert the family and take Mrs Willows down to surgery. The younger man Jac had seen in the room left before them and had ran to catch up with her.

"Ms Naylor?" He strode alongside her, his long legs carrying him quite fast down the corridor and Jac being substantially shorter had not got very far.  
"Hello?" Jac turned to face the man.  
"I'm Irene's son. Matthew." He put out his hand for her to shake, "She looks so old but she isn't, she can't be going now, she is only 67. The nurse told me the condition is pretty serious. Are you sure surgery is right for her? I mean she is weak and there are so many risks."  
"Mr Willows, I am going to do my very best but like Nurse Maconie said, the condition is worsening. Every operation has risks and your mother is weak, but with this operation she could have the chance for a much better quality of life." The man nodded and smiled.  
"It's just, my wife and I are expecting are first child next month, I want her to be able to meet him."  
"Mr Willows, without this operation the chances of her seeing next month are very slim."  
"I know." He shook his head and sighed, "Just do your best, please." Jac nodded and started walking again towards the theatre.

"BP's dropping." Jac was feeling the pressure as she tried to locate the bleed; she was finding this difficult as this particular bleed had erupted from the woman's chest and Jac's visibility was ruined. Jonny was watching how she handled the situation. She was looking desperately into the open space looking at where the possible cut could have happened.  
"I can't find it. She's gone into VF, paddles!" Jac dropped the clamps on to the tray, "Clear!" The nurses moved back and Jac shot electricity into the woman. There was no change. "Okay charge to 360, clear!" Jac tried this twice more but she couldn't get the woman back. She put down the paddles and shook her head at Jonny who was behind the glass.  
"Time of death, 16:47." She pulled off the gown and cap and walked slowly to the sink. She scrubbed her hands and arms roughly and taking her time about it; she was dreading having to tell the family, it was the part that she always dreaded.

Jonny met her outside of the doors and was ready to pull her into a hug but she pushed him away, trying to hide how upset she was. She was always upset like this after she lost a patient; she hated having to accept that she couldn't save somebody. It was her job to save people and yet there were those who, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't help them. She didn't even know the people who she had been trusted with, but with each death she felt hurt as though it had been someone close to her. Nobody knew this about her; everybody thought that she just shrugged it off and went home after a shift without a care; nobody knew how hard she took it each time she had to go home and think about the few people she helped, but then the one or two that she just didn't manage. Jonny followed her to the relatives' room where the group of people she had seen earlier surrounding Mrs Willows' sat with sombre looks on their faces. Her son was the first to look up and he could see her poker face meant nothing else. That was another thing; she hated having to go in looking as though she was completely detached from the situation, because she wasn't. But it wasn't professional. She opened her mouth and her voice was someone else's regurgitating words she used so often. The man, Matthew got out of his seat and looked angrily into Jac's eyes.

"You said that without this surgery she might not make it! Well because of this bloody surgery she didn't! Because of you!" He pushed her hard into the door before she could defend herself. His sister pulled him back and Jonny had now entered the room and was pulling Jac out.  
"Are you okay?" Jonny's concern was understandable; after the incident with Paul he would have expected her to be shaken up if a relative went for her.  
"Yeah, I'm fine." He could see that she wasn't and so after she pushed him away, he followed her after a few minutes to the locker room, where he found her on the floor with her knees pushed up to her chest and her head in her hands. He sat beside her, back against the lockers and lifted his arm above her head, resting it on her shoulder.

"You wanna talk about it?"  
"No." Jac lifted her head out of her hands and rested it on his shoulder, "Will you come back to mine tonight?"  
"What about your other lover?"  
"I'll just have to cancel."


	19. Chapter 19

**Hellooooo thank you all for your reviews! I hope you don't mind the update rate (exams) good luck to those of you who have exams too :) Please enjoy and review! :') **

Jonny took Jac home in his car; a nifty move as it would mean he would have to give her a lift back to work in the morning as her bike would still be there. He had remembered that Erin would be out tonight, she was going to a party. Jac had told him over the phone and didn't sound too impressed that her daughter was surely going to get drunk and she was sure there would be boys there and she better watch her drinks, she might be careful but other people aren't… Jonny had stopped listening half-way through the conversation and stood with the phone away from his ear and was trying to laugh silently at the woman on the other end. Jonny laughed as he remembered the conversation and Jac looked up from her phone confused.  
"What are you laughing at?"  
"You."  
"Charming!" Jac scoffed and then waited for him to explain.  
"No, no give me a chance. Are you texting Erin?"  
"Maybe, why?"  
"I knew it. Leave her alone; let her have a good time Jac. I was just remembering our phone conversation the other day."  
"I am well in my rights to check on my daughter!"  
"Put your phone down!" Jonny chuckled as they stopped at a set of traffic lights and he snatched the phone from her hands. "Ah déjà vous, at least you're not looking at hair salons this time."  
"Yeah, I remember that, I met a lying neurosurgeon that day." Jac smirked, but let him put the phone in the compartment next to him. She knew she was obsessing over this for no reason, she could trust Erin, she was sure of it. Jonny was right and she hated herself for becoming overprotective; but after everything that happened with Paul, it was the only way she could be because she always felt so guilty.

"Are you okay?" Jac's eyes had been vacant for a few minutes and Jonny had left her to think about whatever it was until he became too intrigued.  
"What? Yeah, just thinking about things."  
"Like what?" He turned slightly, trying to keep his eyes on the road but at the same time he wanted to concentrate on her.  
"I don't know how I have become this person; I am an over-obsessive mother and I have become completely soft when it comes to patients." Jonny continued staring at the road but nodded his head for her to continue, "It's ridiculously normal and not ice-queen like at all. I don't even think I shouted at anyone today."  
"No actually, you did. That new nurse from AAU who basically wet herself when you looked at her."  
"Oh yeah." Jac chuckled slightly at the memory, "still, having a lack of any mother figure, especially in my teens," Jonny looked confused as there was still quite a lot he had yet to find out about Jac Naylor, "Ah story for another day. I can't get over how normal my life is. I am stressing about Erin being around boys and if she comes home with a hang over tomorrow…" Jac's face said it all, she didn't have to continue with her sentence for Jonny to understand what would happen.

They were just coming up to where Jac lived but they weren't slowing down, "Hey where are you going? You've just gone past my flat!"  
"Relax, we need to get some shopping in. there wasn't much in your flat the other day and I am going to make you dinner tonight." Jac raised her eyebrows while Jonny wiggled his.  
"And what will I be having for my dining pleasure? Or displeasure if you're cooking?"  
"Hey, I'll have you know I am a great cook. It's quite easy when you know how to pierce the lid with a fork and then turn on the microwave." He said in his brilliantly cheeky Scottish accent.  
"Yeah I know from past experience at your house that that is all you do!" Jac mumbled just audibly as they pulled into a space in the Marks and Spencer's car park.

"So I was thinking about a stir fry?" Jonny said as he picked up a basket from the stand before the doors.  
"Sounds good."  
"So here is my list." Jonny handed Jac a tatty piece of paper.  
"Oh you will have to use something else, I can't have ginger. I'm allergic."  
"Are you?" Jonny got out his phone.  
"What are you doing?"  
"Just texting people to let them know that your Achilles' heel is ginger."  
"Hilarious." She rolled her eyes as she slipped her hand into his and let him lead her round the shop, pausing every now and then to pick up some ingredients.

"If you're doing dinner should I do desert?"  
"Oh yes please." Jonny wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and Jac laughed before hitting him softly.  
"Jonathan, we are in a public place, and I was being serious!"  
"So was I!" She just shook her head and picked up the carrots.  
"Last thing on the list, let's go!"  
"You need to buy dessert things." Jonny looked confused.  
"No I don't" Jac winked and grabbed the basket and sped towards the self-service.

After dinner, which even Jac had to admit was amazing, and 'dessert' Jac lay awake in her bed next to Jonny. He was asleep but she couldn't get his words out of her head; they had been playing on her mind the whole day. She had been thinking about it in the car, about how her life had gone from each of the extremes in less than a week. She had gone from being a cold lonely person who didn't share anything with anyone, to someone with a child and a partner who let her emotions get the better of her in front of her colleagues. She turned on to her side and her eyes focussed on his chest rising and falling, the rhythmic movement sent her into another moment of deep thought. How did she feel about him? The man lying in her bed, the man she kissed as the clock struck for a new year, the man who she just went food shopping with, the man who she loved… She found herself in a contradictory position, she felt safe with him but that was unsafe territory for Jac. Feeling safe with someone meant that she was more likely to get hurt. Then again, she really had let herself fall for this one and she had let him fall for her. She couldn't ruin it now when things were so… perfect. That's exactly what they were. He didn't seem like the kind of guy who would let her down, then again neither did Paul, or Joseph at the start. She couldn't decide whether she wanted to face the disappointment and heart ache in order for her to live happily for a while. It seemed to always come to that. She hoped that just one time it would be different; but then, she needed to take the risks if she wanted this.

She wiggled her fingers and felt his hand still wrapped around them and smiled. She was changing for the better.  
"I love you too." She whispered into the air in front of her. What happened next surprised her. Her hand was squeezed, signalling that he was awake and had heard her. She smiled widely as he turned around and put his arm around her; cuddled up next to him in the security of his arms, she fell asleep straight away.


	20. Chapter 20

**Enjoy and please review :)**

Jonny woke up to find an empty space in the bed beside him; he adjusted his eyes to the light and looked around. Jac was nowhere to be seen and so he decided to get up and see where she had got to. Getting out of bed he noted that his shirt was missing and so pulling on his trousers he walked through to the kitchen with a cheeky smile.  
"S'cuse me lady, but it's freezing!" Jonny said as he wrapped his arms around Jac who was stood at the kitchen sink dressed in only his shirt; she ignored his comment and turned around.  
"Erin isn't answering her phone!"  
"It's still quite early, she's probably still asleep." Jonny said calmly trying to make Jac feel the same, but he could see the worry in her eyes and she tried to smile at him. She followed him to the bench in her kitchen and sat on the stool opposite.  
"She said she would call me last night, but she didn't." Jac looked up from her coffee which was now cold after being sat there for around an hour.  
"She was probably having fun and she forgot to." Jonny watched her take a sip from her coffee, then screwing up her face from the coldness. He smiled as he saw the lines around her eyes squeeze together and her lips contort.  
"You realise that doesn't make me feel any better." Jac raised her eyebrow and got back up, this time to throw the rest of her coffee away and flick the kettle back on to make herself and Jonny another cup. Jac's phone buzzed and reaching for it on the opposite side of the kitchen was a reflex action for Jac.

"Hello?" Jonny couldn't tell whether it was with panic or relief that she answered the call.  
"Hey mum, I've had 27 missed calls from you, what's up?"  
"What's up? Are you being serious? You said you would call me last night and you didn't. I have been out of my mind worrying this morning Erin!" Jac found herself shouting down the phone.  
"I know; I'm sorry I completely forgot."  
"Just get home now!"  
"I was going to the cinema later-,"  
"Yeah, you were. Now you're coming home."  
"That's ridiculous, I forgot to call you."  
"I don't care, home, now." Jac heard the sound of the phone being put down and she sighed; this time Jonny could recognise the relief.

"I hate to say I told you so." Jonny had finished making the drinks and was sipping his own. Jac glared at him as she gripped her own cup, warming up her hands.  
"I'm allowed to worry; I'm her mother."  
"I know. I remember when my sisters were her age; my mum would stay up waiting for them, even into the early hours of the morning. Then they'd come in either drunk or hung over."  
"See that's funny, I stayed up waiting for my mum to come home drunk or hung over." Jac made yet another comment about her mother that Jonny didn't understand.  
"Are you going to tell me about this mother of yours? These comments you're making aren't exactly painting her in a nice light."  
"That's because she can't be painted in a nice light." With that short sentence Jonny knew that Jac was not going to be sharing much with him today.  
"My dad was the same after my mum died." Jonny said quietly, he thought maybe if he shared, she would open up to him more. He didn't like talking about his parents, but talking about them to Jac would be different; there wouldn't be pity. "She had motor neurone disease and died when she was 53, quite young really." He replied to an unasked question that would have formed on Jac's lips, had she been prepared for this sudden truth-telling session. "It was horrible, to watch her like that. It's why I became a nurse; they were always so kind to her and she would always be much happier when someone had been to the house."  
"Jonny, why are you telling me this?" Jac had once again sat opposite him at the bench in her kitchen and was listening to his every word.  
"Because yesterday I told you that I loved you; I want to share my past with you, even if you're not ready to share yours with me." Jonny smiled and Jac couldn't decide whether it was happy or sad; both people were hard to read.  
"My dad used to call me his little princess." Jac smiled at the memory while he just smiled at her; she took another sip of her coffee then looked at her watch. "Crap, look we have to get going!"  
"You told Erin to come home though."  
"Yeah, she has a key. She won't come home anyway; she'll be too annoyed that I shouted at her." Jonny tutted.  
"Oh yes," he drawled in his Scottish accent, "I forgot, I wasn't the only one who said I love you yesterday." His face broke out into a grin.  
"Why who else did?" Jac pretended to be none the wiser.  
"I heard you whisper it into my ear last night." Jonny said sarcastically.  
"You must have been dreaming, Jonathan." Jac smiled a sarcastic smile, blew him a kiss and went into her room to change out of his shirt and into her own clothes for work.

When she came out with his shirt in her arms, she had managed to do her make up and hair flawlessly in what seemed like a few moments. She handed him his shirt which he pulled over his bare shoulders.  
"You should have some of your things here so that you don't have to go in wearing the same thing you had on yesterday so often."  
"You want me to bring an overnight bag next time you make a spur of the moment decision that you want me to come round?"  
"No, I mean if you had some of your things already here..." Jac finished buttoning up his shirt for him.  
"How about all of my things?" Jonny took the risk. Jac's expression changed to one that Jonny once again couldn't read, but then she moved her hands away from his chest and stepped back from him.  
"You want to move in?"  
"Or you could move in with me, I just thought in would be less hassle this way."  
"Well, yeah but you think we should be living together _now_?"  
"Why not? It's as good a time as any."  
"I don't know, I mean, I only made recognition to how I felt about you yesterday."  
"Aha, so you did say you loved me." Jonny stuck his tongue out and picked up his jacket on the back of the chair.  
"So you're not being serious?" Although Jac had been initially shocked, inside she had felt happy as this relationship was moving on and he was definitely serious about her. Jonny noticed the spark in her eyes disappear as she said this.  
"Well I wasn't. Are you putting thought into this though?" Jonny had been half joking, he thought that it would be too quick for Jac, even she said she only told him last night that she loved him, even though they both knew they had felt that way for some time.  
"What? No. I knew you were joking." Jac turned away from him so she could put her mask back up to cover her disappointment, but Jonny wasn't fooled and he could here it in her voice."  
"How about next weekend?" She spun back around, "I'll need to find some boxes though." Jonny couldn't believe what he was saying, but he was ecstatic all the same.


	21. Chapter 21

**Thanks for all the reviews :) Enjoy and please review! :D**

Although Jonny's idea was to move into Jac's flat, she had other ideas as she decided there wouldn't be enough room for him. His house on the other hand, had plenty of room for the three of them and just needed a 'woman's touch' according to her. Jonny found this quite ironic as he thought of the blank cream walls in Jac's flat that were the same in every room. She was right though; Erin's room was as tiny as it was because it was never meant to be a bedroom in the first place. She had considered finding a bigger home but then she never had the time; and so, it had been decided that Jac and Erin would pack up their things in order to move them into his house. Luckily Erin had been easy to persuade to move there with the promise of a bigger bedroom and also that she could paint it herself; Jonny's face went a bit pale at the thought of this but regained some colour when Jac smiled at him, her eyes full of excitement at the prospect of doing this. He would have said that she had changed a lot since he had first met her, but then if he thought harder it was as though she had stayed the same, but was not afraid of showing what was hidden deeper anymore. Well to him anyways.

Jonny sat at the nurses' station waiting for a student nurse who had been placed on Darwin; it was the day before Jac was due to move in and she had taken the day off, hopefully to pack her things but most likely to continue the party preparations for Erin. He had nothing else that would interest him today Mo was in theatre all day which he couldn't attend because of the student. He remembered Jac telling him about this and her laughing at him because she knew he would find it quite tedious. The student nurse was late, he thought to him self as he looked at his watch for the hundredth time that morning and as if by magic, the doors swung open and in walked a girl who looked not much older than Erin, and not dissimilar looks-wise. The girl had long ginger hair tied up of course, and cheekbones that could only be rivalled by Jac's.

"Hi, Jasmine Burrows, I'm the new student nurse." Her cheerful voice and handshake made Jonny warm to her straight away.  
"Jonny Maconie, senior nurse and transplant coordinator. You're a bit late; you might want to watch the time more carefully in future. Luckily the queen of Darwin isn't in today so I'll let you off, but just so you know, she doesn't take kindly to latecomers." Jonny smiled as he thought of Jac, who would probably be organising Erin's party right now.  
"Would that be Jacqueline Naylor?"  
"That's Jac, but it would be Ms Naylor to you, she doesn't take kindly to being called by first names either, especially Jacqueline."  
"Oh okay." The girl smiled; however something in her eyes gave away that this wasn't a true show of emotion and Jonny couldn't help but think again of the similarities between Erin and this girl, or more profoundly, between Jac and this girl.  
"Okay so you will be shadowing me for the day and then we'll see how it goes from there. How long are you in this placement for again?"  
"Just a couple of weeks, but hopefully after my exams I'll be back on a ward like this." Jonny smiled at the girl's eagerness and led her off on a tour of the ward.

Meanwhile Jac was, as Jonny had thought, planning Erin's party. Erin was at college and had given her mother a strict set of instructions which Jac had skimmed over but was making much more extravagant plans. She felt as though this birthday had to be special because it was the first one she had held for her since her and Paul split. Thankfully Erin was very good at making friends and the one thing that was not in Jac's control, the guest list, was quite long. Jac had met a few of them before but this would be the first time that she was going to be able to meet George, Erin's best friend who hadn't yet managed to get down there and see her what with college and his mum. The family were quite poor and they couldn't afford the travel. Jac had of course offered on numerous occasions to pay for it, but they were too proud and George had told her very politely that he was saving up so that he could be there for Erin's party. She had seen pictures of him on the internet and he looked like a nice boy and she had spoken to him on the phone and he sounded well mannered; he seemed like someone that she would approve of had Erin told her that he was her boyfriend. Alas she had not and instead had told her mother she was dating a boy from her college whose name was Jake. She had also been shown pictures of this boy and was less keen, especially when he called her 'Miss N'. Jac had lost count of how many arguments that she had had with her daughter over said boy, but each time it resulted in the same thing: Erin storming to her room and ringing Jake. Jac tried to remember what it had been like for her when she was a teenager, but this wasn't the same. The foster parents didn't care and neither did the social workers very much. The person who cared least of all was her mother who abandoned her at 12 years old and so had never had to compete with teenage Jac. Jac told herself that she was in the right but she wanted to let Erin make her own mistakes and just guide her based on her own experience; this came across in the wrong way of course when they were arguing.

Back on the ward Jonny was busy with a patient while Jasmine stood in the corner and watched him working. He believed he was being a good mentor, despite what Jac had said, and luckily Jasmine was easy to work with a willing to do everything. When she tried some things Jonny was amazed at how fast she picked it up, as though she'd had the experience before. He praised her every time she did something with a smile on his face, but all she would do was look to the ground and offer to do something else. The only problem with her, Jonny thought, was her lack of self-belief. By the time the shift was finished, Jonny decided that there was something about this girl that was strange. She was cheerful enough around him but there was definitely something she was hiding. It reminded him of someone he knew and looked rather a lot like Jasmine. He let her go early seeing as they had got so much done in one day; she smiled at him as she left the ward with a large bag and in her normal clothes. Jonny finished off with a patient and then went to find Mo, who had finally finished and wanted to know about the new student.

Quite a while after his shift would have usually finished, Jonny called Jac to let her know that he was on his way to her flat to see how much she had got done and so after that conversation Jac found herself rushing around like mad, throwing things into boxes so it would actually look like she had done something. Erin was home by this time and had been enlisted by her mother to work in the lounge while she did the kitchen. Erin had been more efficient than Jac and had almost finished packing away the things in her room. The intercom buzzed and as Erin was closest she answered, leaving Jac uninterrupted with her packing.  
"Hello?" Erin said expecting Jonny's voice to greet her back, she was surprised when a female answered her back however.  
"Hi, I'm looking for Jac Naylor, have I got the right address?"  
"Yeah, who's this?"  
"My name is Jasmine Burrows, I'm her... I'm a relative of Jac's." Erin looked confused and this curiosity was what led her to allow the woman at the door to enter. Jac was unaware of the situation and was completely surprised when she walked into the front room to find Erin stood next to that girl; her half-sister.


	22. Chapter 22

**Two updates?! Must be exam procrastination ;) Enjoy and please review! :)**

"What the hell are you doing here?" Jasmine looked slightly panicked, once again thinking that this was a bad idea.  
"It's about mum."  
"I don't want anything to do with either of you, I think I made that perfectly clear the last time we met."  
"She's dying." These terrible words fell from her mouth and she looked at Jac with large round eyes that glistened with salty tears that sprung to them.  
"And I'm supposed to care because?" it came from her before she stop herself; as soft as she had become, Jac had not quite managed the art of being tactful, and the girl's expression turned to one of horror. This was mirrored on Erin's face, while she stood back against the wall listening in, eager to learn more about her mother's past.  
"She's your mother!"  
"She hasn't been my mother for over 20 years."  
"I know what she did to you and I'm not dismissing that, but she is dying!" Jasmine was becoming angry with her sister now; she had been hearing stories about her all day on the ward but she never thought that they could all be true.  
"Are you sure you know everything? Because I'm pretty sure that if you did, you wouldn't be here, telling me about that witch, deathbed or not." Jac suddenly felt Erin's presence in the room, only just remembering that it was she that had opened the door to her; "Why did you let her in? You had no idea who she was." Jac now faced Erin, who was shocked to find someone addressing her.  
"What? She said she was a relative of yours. What was I meant to do?" Erin shrugged her shoulders; she spoke back politely in a monotone voice, as she knew her mother was only taking it out on her because of how she felt towards this girl. From what Erin could gather she must be Jac's sister, but then she had never heard of her.  
"Jac please, just listen to me," Jasmine switched the focus back on to her, "she hasn't told me everything obviously, but come on, surely you want to see her, or speak to her before she goes?" tears were now falling from her eyes. She tried to blink them back but it didn't work, it just made them worse; she hated herself for looking weak when she had told herself before she came that she had to be strong in front of this woman otherwise she would take no notice.  
"No I don't have the desire to speak to her at all. That woman abandoned me, _twice_. She used me for spare parts and then left me. What on Earth makes you think that I would want to see her?"  
"She wants to see you." Jasmine said this quieter than Jac had yelled that at her.  
"What?" Jac's breathing had increased and this word was not said, rather exhaled out of confusion.

It was at this point that the intercom buzzed; Erin, not part of their conversation went to see who it was. Luckily it was not another relative of Jac's and this time it actually was Jonny.  
"Hello, can you let me in please?" his cheerful voice was a complete contrast to the mood in the room. Erin didn't say a word back just buzzed him in. There was silence in the few moments it took for Jonny to get to Jac's door and enter the flat.  
"Hiya, let's see what you've-," he was cut short by the sight of the new student nurse standing by Jac's sofa. "Erm, hello." Jonny looked the most confused but Jac's confusion was growing, whilst Erin's level was stationary. "Jac, what is the student nurse doing in your flat?" He turned to face Jac who was looking even more pale than usual and had a gleam in her eyes that was only there when she was very angry, he had managed to avoid this look for the most part of their relationship and couldn't decide whether he was glad that the look wasn't actually directed at him, but rather at the girl who looked strangely like Jac, he thought, once again.  
"You have got to be kidding me? You're the nurse?" Jasmine just nodded her head slightly at Jac.  
"Okay, so I've obviously missed something." Jonny said as though to lighten the mood.  
"Jac is my half-sister," Jasmine answered for Jac who was finding it difficult to form actual words and instead was making strange movements with her mouth.  
"Right then ." Jonny's eyes widened, "Why don't you sit down, and I'll make everyone a drink."  
"No, she is leaving."  
"Jac, please listen to me, just go and listen to what she has to say. She hasn't got very long and she just wants absolution." Jac scoffed and became very sarcastic with Jasmine because that's what she was best at.  
"Are you sure that's just what she wants? Not to take more organs from me? What does she want this time eh, my liver? My heart? WHAT?! That woman does not deserve forgiveness." Jasmine was crying again.  
"Jac!" Jonny offered an uncomfortable pat to Jasmine, who had taken a seat on the sofa. "I think it's time you told me something, because I can't understand why you are shouting at this girl."  
"Well she knows everything apparently, so why don't you just ask her?"  
"Real mature mother." Erin pitched in, earning a glare from Jac who stormed past them all to her bedroom. Jasmine got up from the sofa and looked sadly at the place where Jac had been stood.  
"I think I had better go." Jonny went to say something to stop her but he agreed that it was best that she left. He looked at Erin for any clue as to what had just happened, but she was just about as clueless as he was and so she shrugged and continued with the packing, as though nothing had happened.

"Jac?" Jonny had left Erin and walked through to Jac's bedroom. He knocked on the door a few times but she made no attempts to answer it. He tried to open it and luckily she hadn't locked it; he slowly pushed the door open to find Jac sat in the centre of her double bed, sat cross-legged with her head in her hands, and he was sure he could hear her sobbing. He walked further into the room, closing the door behind him, and then he sat next to her on the bed. He put his arm around her and pulled her into his chest where she comfortably rested her head. "I think it's time you told me something Jac, because I am pretty confused right now."  
"I know." She mumbled into his shirt before pulling away from him and wiping her eyes with the sleeves of her top.


	23. Chapter 23

**Almost finished exams guys, so updates will hopefully be a bit quicker! Enjoy this chapter, thanks for reviewing and please review again :D**

Jonny made everyone a drink while the girls finished up packing away Jac's things. The flat didn't look that much different as Jac had never been bothered to decorate anyway and so it was just the small matter of putting her little possessions into boxes. Comparing their piles, Erin had over double the amount of boxes that Jac had, probably because Jac had never been sentimental towards anything. There were very few photo frames in her house, most of them of Erin and then one of baby boy that Jonny often wondered about but hadn't quite gained the courage to ask about it yet. Jac was avoiding telling Jonny anything for as long as she could; she found that people usually form opinions when she told them about her past and once she started telling him something, she knew that all of it would come spilling out. She avoided his gaze as he passed her a steaming mug of coffee, but she couldn't avoid his questions.  
"So Jac, are you going to tell me about your mum?"  
"There's not much to tell really. She called me Jacqueline, I mean, that has to account for something" Jac shrugged the question off, trying to close herself off to interrogation.  
"Oh come off it, she's dying and you're not going to see her? It must be something pretty serious." Jonny found this hard to say as he remembered his own mother dying, and the process had been long and drawn out. He couldn't imagine not being there for her; he couldn't imagine not saying goodbye.  
"You can't always keep it all locked up mum." Erin pitched in, sitting next to Jac on a box. Jac turned to face her and raised her eyebrows.  
"Sharing is not exactly my forte." She took another sip of her coffee while Jonny just stared at her, willing her to open up about just this one thing. Given that the student nurse who was working on Darwin was Jac's half-sister he thought that just a little bit of information might help him to understand.  
"Jac, I hope you realise that Jasmine Burrows is going to be working on our ward for a couple of weeks. You're going to have to face her pretty much all the time and so you've got to talk to somebody, preferably me and then her."  
"Can we not just transfer her to another ward or hospital?" Jac was acting a bit childish.  
"What, because you can't handle it? No, she is staying our ward whether you like it or not. Now are you going to tell me something, anything, about your mother, because I cannot even being to imagine what she must have done to deserve this." His blue eyes bore into hers and she had to avert her gaze to the floor.  
"When I was 8, my dad walked out on my mum; he tried to stay in contact with me but she wouldn't let him. She ripped every birthday or Christmas card I got from him, in front of me, only after she had taken the money that was inside. Then, three days after my 12th birthday, she told me that he was dead." Erin was listening intently while Jonny just carried on watching her, offering a hand on her leg. "I don't even know if that's true because soon after that she told me that my grandfather was also dead and that's why we hadn't been to see him in a while. Actually the real reason is that he wouldn't lend her any money and she had gone in a strop with him. It was quite soon after, that she decided she wanted to go to India. She told me that she was going to help the poor children there and that she was going to be a teacher or something. I was always under the allusion that I would be going with her, so it wasn't until a few weeks later that she left me in a museum. I hated museums even then, but she said she would stay with me so I felt safe. I was too trusting as it happens." Jonny tried to imagine Jac ever being that reliant on someone and he couldn't quite manage it. Even if she loved him she would always have barriers.  
"She abandoned you?" Jonny's voice was quiet. Erin nodded as Jac was too busy formulating how she was going to carry on. Erin of course knew this part of the story, because Jac had told her often enough that even though she was living with Paul, she hadn't abandoned her, like her Paula had done to Jac. Erin however didn't quite get the full story; just that she had grown up in care because of a waste of space mother who left her. She had never learnt about her grandfather or great-grandfather.  
"Carry on." Erin said slowly as she patted her mum on the shoulder. Jac smiled to herself, as much as she had been missing for the majority of Erin's life, they had a perfect relationship; she wished she could have had one with her own mother; she could have been a completely different person. More trusting and open to relationships and people who she loved, less willing to hurt others to get what she wants because she's had to do it the hard way the whole of her life.  
"Eventually someone found me. I was terrified when I couldn't find her so I hid in one of the displays, the security guard gave me a strange look but didn't say anything. He smiled at me and helped me up. He called the police who were unable to contact my mother because the house was empty of things, there was literally nothing. There was nothing of mine left in there; I don't know where it all went. She had told me my father was dead, and my grandfather, so there was nobody. It was like that life had never existed and I had just imagined the whole thing. I couldn't decide whether that was better than thinking that my own mother had abandoned me for some unknown reason. The only reason I could come up with was to blame myself because there was obviously something so fundamentally wrong with me."  
"Hey, it wasn't your fault Jac. I don't know how I can explain what she did but I know that it wasn't your fault and you can't think that it was."  
"That's not the worst part." Jac looked up abruptly as she said this; her eyes were starting to glisten with tears and her lips were trembling. "A few years ago she came back from India she came to Holby. She was really ill; she was having kidney dialysis but that couldn't sustain her for much longer and so she was going to die." Jonny remembered something that Jac had said earlier about her giving away her organs or something; he knew what was coming next. "I thought that she was sorry; I couldn't let her die because I'm a surgeon, and I save people. If I don't save my own mother then what kind of a person am I? It took me a while before I actually agreed to it because there were so many conflicting emotions in my head and I was so confused, but that is why I am a 'one-kidneyed-freak'." Although it was not a situation suitable for laughter, both smiled at the memory while Erin just looked puzzled for a moment before shrugging. "She came back to my flat and we watched films and we talked just like normal mothers and daughters do and I let my guard down for one minute. She pretended that she was sick, having a reaction to the anti-rejection drugs, when really she just wanted me out of the house so that she could escape. She used me for spare parts, before running back to a house which I remembered, oh yes that's right, the grandfather who was dead, was actually alive and had provided my 'mother' with a home, which is more than he did for me. It makes me think about my dad and whether he is still alive. I don't want to search because I could get let down and I don't think I couldn't handle mourning for him twice." Jac was crying now; Erin put her arm around her mother and put her head on her shoulder. As much as it should be the mother's urge to protect, Erin felt like this towards Jac; it had been the same when she had been stabbed and she did all she could to stop him from killing her. She knew that Jac would have done the same; Jac would have probably died for her, because that's what mothers do. They don't abandon their children and leave them with nothing.  
"Then there's Jasmine, who I met for the first time at my grandfather's house whilst I was asking my mother how she could have done what she did. Jasmine was 17 when I first met her. She had had a life with a mother for the whole time; she didn't have to fight for every little thing in a care home with so many other children. She didn't have to fight when she was attacked twice by people she thought she trusted. No, because it was something to do with me, otherwise Paula would have abandoned Jasmine just like she did to me. So that's why. That's why I won't go and see her, because she has let me down too many times before and I don't want reminding that there is something wrong with me. Who knows if she is even dying? She has lied so many times that you could write a fictional novel using her life." Jac finished talking a took a huge breath in; Jonny had been stunned by everything she had just said and so the moments that followed were just silence.


	24. Chapter 24

**Hey guys, sorry for the lag :/ this is just a bit of a filler so sorry about that. The next update won't take so long :) Please enjoy and review :D**

"Say something." Jac had grown wary of the silence that followed her long talk.  
"Sorry." He looked her in the eyes, "Jac, you need to let it go and stop blaming yourself for what she did to you. I can totally understand why you won't go and see her; she has controlled the way that you live your life without even being there. Maybe it would help if you went to see her, for closure or something?" Jonny looked hopeful but as soon as he said this he saw the shields go up.  
"What are you, a nurse who part-times in psychiatry? I don't need closure I'm fine." She wiped her tears away in one swift movement and got up from the box. "Come on, we might as well take some of this stuff to the house now so we aren't working all day tomorrow." She picked up a box to her left and walked to the front door, leaving Jonny shaking his head.  
"Come on then." Jonny rolled his eyes and picked up a light box for Erin and passed it to her.

Jonny woke up first; he had stayed at Jac's last night as his house was full of boxes. He was doing a morning shift and so left Jac sleeping peacefully while he got up and got ready. He walked quietly past Erin's room so as to not wake her up, but he found her already awake sat in the kitchen eating some cereal.  
"What are you doin' awake?" Jonny yawned as he looked in the fridge for some milk, it was four o'clock in the morning and a sane teenager would be either asleep or out partying at this time, not sitting in the kitchen eating cereal.  
"There's some already out," Erin pointed to the counter where she had left some milk out for him, "I couldn't sleep much last night so I thought I might as well."  
"How come?" he flicked the kettle on and leaned against the counter.  
"I couldn't help thinking about mum, and her mum." Erin mumbled through a cereal-packed mouth, which she quickly swallowed, "I mean, I don't know why any parent would do something light that to their own child. With dad, I don't know what it was that made him suddenly lash out, but in a way it sounds better than the mental torture that mum went through. I was thinking about this a lot last night and I can understand why she doesn't want to go and see her, but if it were me, I'd want to find out why she had done those things, before it was too late and I was left with it. It's already controlled her life enough."  
"I think she must have been carrying around those thoughts with her since she was abandoned." Jonny poured his drink and they just stayed silent for a moment before Jonny's face lit up with an idea, "Hey, how about we go and see her? I have this afternoon off and Jac will be working so she won't know, we just have to be back in time for her not to notice."  
"Do you think that's a good idea?" Erin looked apprehensive but Jonny nodded enthusiastically.  
"What could go wrong? Jac won't know and we can find out more; I mean she does like to keep us in the dark, maybe there's something else she's not telling us?"  
"I don't know. I'll get into trouble if she finds out." He could see that Erin was weighing up the pros and cons in her head.  
"I will take all the blame; I'll say that you didn't even know where we were going." Jonny's mischievous face won Erin round.  
"Alright fine. How are you going to find out where she lives?"  
"I'll get Jasmine to tell me." Jonny's face fell, "She is going to get nowhere on our ward with Jac about. I might see if I can get her transferred." He poured the rest of his drink down the sink and picked up his satchel. "Right, I will see you later then."  
"See you." Erin shook her head as she heard the door close after him. Her mum would almost definitely find out where they had been but she couldn't help but wonder about her grandmother and it was this curiosity that got the better of her as she got ready for the trip.

Jac woke up not long after Jonny left; she turned around to face the empty space in the bed beside her and for a moment panicked when there was nobody there. Then her mind got back into gear and she remembered that he would be at work. She let out a groan as she realised she would have to go into work later and after the night she had had last night, she really wasn't feeling up to the busy day ahead of her on Darwin. She wouldn't even have Jonny there to amuse her because he was going home early to finish off the moving in. She opened her eyes again and found that she had curled back up while she was thinking and even though she needed to get up, the bed was just too inviting. Every time she closed her eyes to blink she found that ten or fifteen minutes passed. Eventually Erin knocked on as there was very little time between then and the time she needed to be in work and she thought her mother needed to be reminded of this fact. After the role reversal had occurred, with Jac stropping that she had to get up and Erin moaning that Jac wouldn't be there on time, she finally got ready to face the day in a smart blue blouse and skinny black trousers. She covered her face in a thin layer of make-up and pulled back her hair as she fastened the leather jacket to the top and masked her face with the large, black bike helmet.

She made it to work with a few minutes to spare before her shift started and jumped off her bike; she removed the helmet from her head and pulled her hair out from underneath the jacket. She stopped swishing her hair when she saw Jonny watching her as he leaned against the pillar at the entrance of the hospital with a cheeky grin on his face. Although it was cold, the sun blinded him as he walked towards her so he was squinting as grabbed her hands and kissed her good morning.  
"Well that was lovely but I'm almost late and you know what the boss is like." Jac grinned as she said this as she knew that was Jonny's line to all of their colleagues.  
"Well you might be lucky because I heard that she's in a pretty good mood this morning." Jac raised her eyebrow.  
"Oh? How come?"  
"A certain, very handsome, Scotsman has cheered her up somewhat." He winked and let go of her hands; she walked away only turning to face him when she had entered the hospital. He waved but she just smiled back, the professional Jac Naylor taking over now that she was in her place of work. Jonny wondered if he was doing the right thing going to see her mother without telling her, after she had let him in to a certain extent; this could be seen as a betrayal of trust and wouldn't bode well for him if she ever found out. However, he got into his car and received a text from Erin, asking if he was coming to pick her up and his curiosity also got the better of him. He drove to Jac's flat and then with Erin in the passenger seat, he typed into the sat-nav the destination that was written down on a scrap piece of paper and drove away.


	25. Chapter 25

**Hey everyone! Who's off for half-term then? XD So here's the next installment, bit of a different layout because I wanted to show a clear difference between the two things going on. I'm not very good at explaining things but you'll see anyway :) Enjoy and please review! Thanks for all the reviews so far! I haven't got over 50 before so thanks a lot guys! :) **

Finally arriving at their destination, after Jonny had told the nasty woman on the sat-nav to shut-up several types, Erin and Jonny got out of the car and looked at their surroundings. He nervously stepped on to the path of the house in front of them.  
"This is it, you ready?"  
"What are you going to say?"  
"I don't have a clue." He held out his arm and with a worried smile on his face led Erin up the path and knocked three times on the door.

Meanwhile Jac was having a very busy day on Darwin; a derailed train in the afternoon meant her general surgery skills were needed as well as her cardiothoracic expertise. Her mind wasn't allowed to wander as patient after patient came with serious to mild injuries.

An old man answered the door, her grandfather, Jonny thought to himself. Now was the part where he had to say something as the man stared at him.  
"Hello, my name is Jonathan Maconie; I'm a friend of your granddaughter Jac." The man's eyes widened.  
"Where is she?"  
"She is stuck at work I'm afraid but she sent me instead."  
"You're lying." Jonny's heart beat faster as the old man went to shut the door. He stopped it with his foot, not caring about the pain.  
"No please. I'm Jac's partner, you're right, I am lying. She doesn't know I'm here. I just wanted to ask about her mother. Jasmine, she works with me at Holby, she told me to come here." The old man raised his eyebrows and looked towards Erin. He nodded at her, "That's Erin, she's Jac's daughter."  
"Jac's...?" He was shocked to hear these words; his eyes widened and his mouth fell slightly open. Unable to finish his sentence he just opened the door fully and moved to the side, allowing them to enter. Jonny went first, closely followed by Erin, who still had a hold on his arm. Jac's grandfather followed them slowly showing them to the living room.  
"Drink?" he asked in a softer tone than the one they had been greeted in.  
"A coffee would be great." Jonny nudged Erin who was busy looking around the room.  
"What? Oh, erm can I have a glass of water please?" The man nodded and made his way into the kitchen, leaving Jonny and Erin to talk alone in hushed whispers.

Jac never found a minute to sit down and text Jonny to tell him she would be late tonight; she was too busy in theatre or bossing people around in the emergency. She had told a nurse to page him however; they needed as many hands as they could get. He wasn't answering though and Jac wondered what he was up to.

Their drinks had been made and the old man sat on the armchair opposite them, glaring at them over his cup; Jonny made the first move.  
"So, you're Jac's grandfather?"  
"Yes." A single-word answer was all Jonny was getting.  
"What about Jac's mother, how is she?"  
"She's dying, how do you think she is?" his voice raised a little, "I'm sorry." The man looked down into his mug.  
"It's quite alright, I can understand. When was the last time you saw Jac?"  
"It was a few years ago now. Paula had come back from India and she was desperately ill; Jac helped her that time. She gave her a kidney, but then her mother left her again so she came here looking for her."  
"What happened?"  
"Well Jac was obviously curious as to why she had been abandoned twice; I mean the poor girl was only 12 the first time. I didn't know what had happened until Paula came back, I swear it. Mr Maconie."  
"Please, call me Jonny."  
"So they had a row, I didn't know what to say. Paula had told the girl I was dead for goodness sake and yet, there I was just stood there, listening to Jac pour her bloody heart out." Jonny nodded his head, he was quite aware of these events but it was different to get them from another point of view.  
"So you're on Jac's side?" the man chuckled.  
"I'm not on anyone's side. I'm Paula's father and Jac's grandfather. What Paula did to the girl was unforgiveable to Jac, but she's my daughter so I have to help her out where I can. You have to understand that it's a terrible thing to see your child die before yourself. So for now I'm going to be here for Paula. If Jac needs me I'm there for her too, but she cut me loose after what happened. I would have done the same, but I promise I had no idea; I thought little Jackie would be with her mum in India." Jonny found himself believing the old man.  
"So can we speak to Paula?" Erin's voice was quiet and innocent; she had taken in all the information she needed to from her great-grandfather and now it was time to meet the woman in question.  
"I don't see why not, but she is in an awful state, I must warn you. Please go easy on her, no matter what you think." They put their cups down on the coffee table and followed the man who had yet to introduce himself properly.

When they reached the room, Erin's heart skipped a beat. The woman she felt so much hatred towards was lying in a bed looking frail and old and was a strange yellowish colour. Erin didn't know how to feel except she knew that she had karma had already partially at least got this woman back for what she had done to Jac. She took a seat next to her being careful not to make too much noise. Jonny did the same, except he didn't manage the no noise part and the chair scraping across the floor was enough to wake Paula up. She opened her eyes slightly and blinked many times and they adjusted to the light streaming through the curtains.  
"Hello?" She croaked, inaudible to those not a foot away from her.  
"Hello Paula love, it's your dad. There's some people here to talk to you."  
"Paula, I'm Jonathan Maconie and I'm Jac's partner." She turned her head as much as she could, trying to look at the man who was now talking to her. "This is Erin, Jac's daughter." At these words Paula's face contorted strangely and at first Jonny thought she was fitting. She calmed down however and had this time managed to turn fully and face her granddaughter.

Jac scrubbed her hands violently as she lost yet another patient. She tried not to blame herself; they had come in with such terrible injuries that it was a miracle she had been able to save any of them. However as this was the third patient she had lost today, her confidence had been knocked and all she wanted was Jonny beside her, telling her that she could do it. Nobody had managed to get in touch with him though; she considered phoning Erin to see what they were up to, and decided that she would when she got a minute between saving lives and answering to Hanssen.

"You're Jac's daughter?" The woman wheezed quietly looking as shocked as her father had when he had heard the same. Erin just nodded, not wanting to speak yet worried that whatever came out of her mouth would cause trouble. "You look a lot like her." This time the woman said it with ease and a smile formed on her thin lips.  
"I know." Was all Erin could think to say.  
"Where is she? I have something that I need to tell her."  
"She isn't here, she couldn't come."  
"Wouldn't come, you mean." Paula sighed, even though she had been expecting this.  
"I could pass on the message?" Jonny said, trying to get somewhere.  
"Would she believe you?"  
"I guess it depends on what it is." Jonny looked into the woman's eyes and couldn't decide whether what he felt was anger, sorrow or pity.  
"If I tell you, you have to make a promise to me." As ominous as this sounded, he found himself nodding his head, "I want to see Jac before I die. I need to make things right, if only for my own selfish reasons." She began to cough and her father rushed into the room. Well, rushing wasn't a term Jonny would use as he was already seeing to it by the time the man had reached the bed.  
"I will try my best."  
"I trust you."  
"What do you want to tell her?"  
"I am going to tell you, but you can't tell her until I have seen her, otherwise there will be no chance." Every time she spoke it became easier for her. She was getting into the conversation and it was as though she hadn't spoken for a while and was becoming more comfortable each time she opened her mouth. This time Jonny felt the reluctance to nod and in his own head decided that he would tell Jac when he felt was right, but he nodded anyway, so she would tell him.  
"It's about Jac's father," she began to cough again and Jonny became fully aware that her condition was worsening by the minute, "She might already have her suspicions; she's not stupid. He is alive, and I have to tell her where he is."

It was 8 o'clock in the evening before Jac had actually managed to sit and eat something. She was starting to feel very tired and wanted nothing more than to be lying in bed with Jonny in their home. That reminded her to call Erin and luckily it only took one ring for her to answer.


	26. Chapter 26

**Hey guys! This is just a bit of a filler chapter, but I hope you enjoy it none-the-less and please review. Also, if you haven't already, I have another fanfic called Message on a Little White Stick, which is also a Janny fic :') Thanks for reading :) **

"Hello?" Erin's voice blasted it's way into Jac's ear so she had to move the phone away.  
"Hey, why on Earth are you shouting?" Jac said back slightly louder than she would normally because the phone was now a few inches from her face.  
"Sorry, we've got the radio on; we've been painting my room." Her voice was cheerful and Jac smiled slightly before sitting back in her chair.  
"Have you been doing that all day?"  
"Yes pretty much. Although you wouldn't think so seeing as it's not so much the walls that have been painted, more like my face, hair, clothes-" Jac rolled her eyes, she was not going to like the mess she came home to.  
"You better have cleaned up when I get home."  
"Don't worry; Jonny's just sorting that out now. How come you're still at work, we thought you'd be home hours ago?"  
"Train crash. You can tell Jonny that Hanssen isn't best pleased and neither am I. He's had his phone switched off all day and we really could have used another pair of hands around here."  
"Well we've been busy, it's not his fault." Jac just sighed, "Anyway, when are you coming home?"  
"Another hour or so yet. Maybe more." Jac yawned and Erin could hear the tiredness in her mother's voice.  
"Do you want us to cook you something for when you're back?"  
"Nope, I'm just going to go to bed I think."  
"Okay, do you want to speak to Jonny?"  
"Nope, let him think I'm annoyed." The sides of her mouth twitched slightly as a smirk that her daughter could only sense, played on her lips.  
"That's mean; I'm not going to do that mum." Erin laughed and Jac once again wished she was at home.  
"Right, I'm going to go so I can get this work done."  
"Alright, see you later."  
"Love you." Jac heard a mumbled reply before the phone was put down. She sighed looking at the mountain of paperwork she had to do because of the train crash.

"Jonny? I think she bought it so we're going to have to hurry up with this room!" They had been home for a few hours and had indeed started on Erin's room as their cover story. However it was less than halfway finished as they had spent most of their time talking about what they had learnt from Jac's mother. Jonny poked his head around the door.  
"We're going to have to tell her."  
"She's not going to like it." Erin chucked a roller at him and he dipped it into the pot of paint beside him.  
"I know she's not going to like it, but she has to know. If her dad's alive then she'll probably want to find him and that way, she'll have to see her mother." He started on the bare wall at the back of the room.  
"I don't know if that's necessarily a good thing Jonny. She hates her mother, and after what she did, I'm not surprised." He looked over to her.  
"Really? I thought that you were all for Jac giving her another chance?"  
"I never said that actually. It's just she looked so frail and ill in that bed, it's as though someone is already getting her back for what she did to mum." Erin shrugged her shoulder and left Jonny to ponder on this for a while.  
"Have we done the right thing Erin?" Jonny put his roller into the tub and came to stand next to her.  
"I think so. Even if mum doesn't see it straight away, I'm sure she'll realise that we had good intentions." Jonny raised his eyebrow.  
"You've missed a spot there." He pointed to an area of the wall above her head before flicking paint on to her face that he had on his hand. This led to yet another full-scale paint war.

Jac allowed herself into the house as quietly as she could; she needn't have bothered though as she found Jonny and Erin still awake watching a film in the front room.  
"I would have thought you guys would be in bed." She said as she walked in and planted a kiss on top of Erin's head before making herself snug beside Jonny, who planted a kiss on top of her head.  
"We thought we'd stay up for you; although we didn't anticipate you'd be home this late."  
"Yeah I know, it was hectic today. First there was the train crash, then I had tonnes of paperwork to do, then a patient went AWOL." She yawned and looked at her watch which told her it was half past midnight, three hours later than she had planned to be home.  
"Sounds like fun." Jonny had put his arm around her and became aware that whatever he was going to say to her would go unheard as she had fallen asleep there and then.

Jac turned around to face Jonny as she woke up from a very peaceful night's sleep.  
"Good morning." He said to her and then kissed her slowly.  
"Have you just been watching me?"  
"Yep."  
"You know some people would call that creepy."  
"Others would call it romantic." Jac smirked as she kissed him back.  
"I feel as though I haven't seen you in ages. Our work patterns have been so different." She said sadly as he brushed some hair away from her face.  
"Yeah well, we both have this morning off so how about we make the most of it?" by his cheeky grin Jac knew exactly what he meant.  
"Well then, if you want to do _that _then you had better tell me what you and Erin _really_ got up to yesterday, and don't give me that rubbish about painting her room." He felt slightly nervous as he opened his mouth to speak.  
"Don't be mad."  
"See when people say that to me, it's never a good sign Jonathan."  
"Erin and I went to see your mother yesterday." He said it quickly hoping she wouldn't catch what he had said and they would just forg-  
"You what?!" Jac pulled back from him and sat up abruptly in their bed.  
"We knew you didn't want to go, but the way Jasmine told you, it was as though she had something she needed to tell you before she died."  
"Yeah, to tell me how sorry she was for abandoning me, or taking my kidney, or letting me blame myself for the last 23 years." Jac got out of the bed, and before Jonny could say another word she had stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

Erin, who had been asleep in the spare room (hers still smelt of paint) until she heard the bang the door made, knew that Jonny had just told her mother what had happened, and it was only a matter of time before she would be in for it too. She tried to pretend that she was asleep for just a while longer but to no such luck as someone knocked on her door.  
"Yes?" Jonny walked in, dressed in his tartan pyjamas which, on a usual occasion, Erin would always find funny. However, with her mother rampaging downstairs in the kitchen cupboards, she knew that now was not a time to laugh.  
"She didn't take it very well."  
"I never would have guessed." He pulled a scared face and left her to get dressed.

Meanwhile Jac was indeed rampaging downstairs, making herself a coffee to calm her nerves. Why had they done this? Was her word not enough? The woman was vile and could lie about anything, she'd probably told them some far-fetched story about her being a terrible child and that was why she left. She sat down, trying to think of someway to convince Jonny that her mother was a liar and whatever story she had spun was false. Little did she know that she didn't need to.


	27. Chapter 27

**HEY :) Enjoy this chapter, thank you for the reviews :) JAC IS BACK ON THE 5TH MARCH YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA YAYAY :D**

Jonny waited at the top of the stairs for Erin to get dressed. She scoffed as she saw him stood there, just waiting, obviously too scared to go down by himself. At the thought of her mother though, she could understand.  
"You ready?" He asked, his tone feigning optimism.  
"What are we going to say?" She realised they were hardly being quiet at the top of the stairs and Jac could probably hear them; however they continued and rehearsed their lines until they were word perfect and their stories backed each other up.

Jac was sat at the kitchen table sipping on her coffee, she turned around upon hearing them creeping down the stairs but didn't say a word. She was saving it up for one big moment when she would let out how angry and disappointed she was in them. This was both Erin and Jonny's thoughts and sure enough, when they had both sat down at the table opposite her, she began the ranting.  
"I seriously don't know what the hell you were thinking. Do you not trust me? Is that it? You thought that my side of the story was a bit far-fetched so you went searching for the truth? You don't know what that woman is like, either of you! She's evil; if she can abandon a child, what makes you think that there would be any truth or feeling in what she had to say? Hmm? Was I not clear when I told _that girl_ that I did not want to speak to her? Well clearly not if you two had to intervene and go swanning off to talk to her in my place. So what? Does she think that I want something to do with her? If you've told her something along those lines then she's not the only one who is sadly mistaken, because I will not, ever, let that woman back into my life. Even if she is on her bloody deathbed!" Jonny felt as though he was a child again being told off by his mother. He turned his head slightly to see Erin's expression to all of this; after all, she _was_ a child being told off by her mother. Her mouth was hanging slightly open and her eyes were wide, watching her mother gesticulate as she went on about how they had betrayed her trust. It was time for Jonny to interrupt, as much as he hated to do so when Jac was in full swing.  
"If you would let either of us get a word in edgeways we might be able to explain why we went Jac!" he had to raise his voice slightly so she could her him over her ranting. She stopped talking abruptly and a sarcastic smile spread upon her lips.  
"Go on then Jonathan, because I would just love an explanation to this." She had called him Jonathan which was only ever used when she was flirting with him or when she was angry and he was pretty sure that it wasn't the first one.

"First of all, Erin had nothing to do with it. She didn't even know where we were going until we got there; I just dragged her along." Jac looked to Erin with a stern frown who nodded slightly and the frown lessened.  
"Fine. So what is your reason for going then?" She raised her eyebrow expectedly.  
"Like I said this morning, when Jasmine came last time, she said that your mother had something to tell you and I was curious; you can't tell me that you weren't?"  
"No I wasn't actually, because it would probably be some half-hearted apology to absolve her before she went."  
"Well actually you're only half right." Jonny saw a flicker of curiosity on Jac's face for just a second before she looked crossly at him again. She sat down again after standing up halfway through her shouting fest.  
"I don't care what she had to say! Don't you get it? I care, that the person who is meant to trust me, obviously doesn't because you had to go and talk to her. Why couldn't you just trust my judgement? She's my mother after all; do you not think I know her well enough?" the anger was slowly turning to sadness and Jonny could hear it now in her voice. His heart sank slightly as he had never wanted her to feel like this.  
"I'm sorry Jac and I do trust you. I was just curious, like I said and even more than that I was angry. I wanted to look this woman in the eye and see what she had to say for herself after what she did to you." He went to hold her hand on top of the table and he smiled when she didn't pull away like he thought she might. "Look, I know what I did was truly stupid, but it's only because I care about you so much that I did it. I know for a fact that she made you the way you are; you can't let people in easily and I wanted to talk to her because I wanted to complain about how long it took for you to completely open to me!" He tried to make the last part sound like a joke and they both smiled, but both of them knew that it was true. "Now, if you will let me, she told me that I have to tell you something and I think you might actually want to hear it. Whether it's true or not I don't know, but I'm pretty sure you've mentioned something about it before." She hesitated before nodding; although she was reluctant to hear anything that woman had to say for herself, she was quite intrigued now.  
"What is it?"  
"She told me that your father is still alive and she knows where you can find him." His voice was quiet and slow, allowing her to process the news. It would have been more of a bombshell had Jac not already had her suspicions.  
"I knew it. I did; I told you I knew he was alive. That evil bitch! How dare she? Well after my granddad I always suspected that she was lying about him too! And then Michael Spence said something to me a few years ago, something that made me wonder." She trailed off and he watched her mind working and out of the corner of his eye saw Erin was doing the same. She finally reached a conclusion.  
"I'm going to have to talk to her aren't I?"


	28. Chapter 28

**Sorry about the delay! This is just a filler too :/ I hope you enjoy it and the next chapter will be more interesting! Please review :') **

Neither of them spoke about the morning's events that day. Jonny had managed to swap his shift and to do an afternoon and evening with Jac and, although she didn't show it because she was still quite angry at him, she was pleased that he had done so. Although they never actually conversed about it, Jonny knew that it was the only thing that Jac could think about as he witness her gazing into space on numerous occasions, so at every opportunity he tried to take her mind off of it by reminding her of Erin's party which was in a week's time and had never been far from Jac's mind until that morning. She tried to sound animated with the talk of how brilliant the party would be and how excited she was, as this would be the first birthday they would have had together since the break up, she wasn't sure if she had convinced Jonny enough as yawns elongated her face and made her eyes water, that along with a worried expression that just seemed to be there in the background were not quite the usual Jac. Jonny didn't really take much notice and put it down to tiredness and stress, she had been doing long shifts and he was pretty sure that the whole thing with her mother was not helping. He wondered to himself when she would decide to actually go and speak to her. He tried not to think like this but it would have to be soon because when he had seen her he knew there was not long to go. He didn't want to bring up the conversation however and was quite happy to listen to her moaning about how she didn't really like Erin's boyfriend much through stifled yawns.

Jac somehow managed to get through the day without falling asleep at her post, even though every minute felt like an hour and every one of these minutes her brain would not stop working on overload. Leaving the hospital with Jonny arm-in-arm her brain continued to buzz about small things as though even subconsciously she wanted to avoid the elephants in there. She told herself that it was all this thinking and she hated to admit it, even to herself, but _actually worrying_ that was making her so tired. She was thankful when he offered to drive because she didn't want to end up in the ED after falling asleep at the wheel. They set off towards their home and sure enough Jac had fallen asleep halfway through the journey and in mid-sentence, although she wasn't making much sense anyway, Jonny though to himself as he listened to the soft sound of her breathing.

When they arrived home he nudged her slightly to wake her up; she squirmed in her seat as she opened her eyes. She blinked a few times before stretching widely, attacking Jonny slightly with her flailing fists.  
"What is has gotten into me recently? I'm turning into an old woman!" She said as she opened the door of the car. Jonny just laughed at her as she came around to his side and linked with him as the entered the house. He wondered if, in her sleepy state, he could manage to get her to talk about going to see her mother.  
"So have you thought about when you're going to do it?" He asked quietly with a quizzical expression.  
"Do what?" She shouted through to the living room as he was already sat down while she was still hanging up her coat. She followed him through to the bright room and collapsed next to him, allowing his arm to wrap around her shoulder.  
"When are you going to see your mum?" She looked up at him; this conversation was bound to crop up today, because she was ultimately going to have to.  
"I honestly don't know. It has to be sooner rather than later obviously but the only reason I have to go is to find out about my dad and the truth is Jonny," She paused and looked away, then mumbled something quite inaudible.  
"Sorry what?" He said with a smile pulling up her chin with his fingers.  
"I'm worried okay? I don't want to face that woman because I don't want to feel sorry for her; she is getting what she deserves! I don't want her to tell me about my dad if it's something that is going to make me hate him, I mean, the memories I have of him are perfect and a part of me just wants it to stay that way. Most of all I don't want to have to go alone."  
"What makes you think you would have to go alone?" Jonny's tone was serious; how could she think that he wouldn't be there. He would not let that woman be alone with Jac ever. She smiled slightly at him before putting her head on his chest and letting him stroke her hair.  
"There's still that stuff about my dad."  
"It's up to you Jac; on the one hand you're right there is the chance that something could change your view of him, but then again you might see him again and be able to spend some time with him. I mean, after your childhood is that not something you want?"  
"Yes, obviously. I haven't seen him in over 25 years Jonny. I wonder what hew looks like now." Jonny just smiled; she had been won round.  
"So when do you want to go and see her then?" he said casually, bringing up the question again.  
"How about the day after tomorrow? I need sleep before then though, I do not know what is up with me recently!" and with that Jonny got up from the sofa, pulling her up too.  
"Come on then sleepy head!" He said as though talking to a child; she hit him playfully but was grateful for the suggestion and followed him, still hand-in-hand, up the stairs.


	29. Chapter 29

**Hey everyone! This chapter is a bit longer than my others just because I had more to write and there was no clear point where I could find to stop. I'll try and get an update to you all by next Friday at the latest :) Hope you enjoy this chapter and please review! :D**

As much as she had wished it hadn't, the next day had just been a rushed blur of patients and surgery. Before she knew it she was already at home 'helping' Erin with some geography homework which she was quite surprised she knew any of seeing as the last time she had written about earthquakes was about 20 years ago. She and Jonny had made a plan that morning to get on with the day so Jac wouldn't have to think about her mother, however it was as though this plan had worked too well because as she was so preoccupied, time seemed to go at double the speed which usually happens when you are waiting for something you dread. Jac hadn't actually thought about it for the whole day although she had wished that she had a little more time to think about it now that she was sitting at the dining table, a worried expression plastered on her face as she tried to come up with a plan for tomorrow. Jonny and Erin sat on either side of her, animatedly discussing something about earthquakes; Jac would usually at this point joke about how much of a geek her daughter was as normal people would sound shocked at the number of people who had died or were injured. However Erin's eyes flashed brightly as the figures just rolled out of mouth; Jac knew her daughter wasn't happy about it, she was just very eager and interested and that's one thing Jac saw in her daughter that reminded her of herself. However as she sat at the table, barely touching the dinner Jonny had made for them all, she didn't notice Erin's enthusiasm or Jonny's interest at the new facts. Instead she looked quite pale and uncharacteristically nervous as she played with a small piece of carrot on her plate.

She went to bed early leaving Erin to finish watching the recorded Take Me Out alone, while Jonny made passing comments on how ridiculous some of the girls looked while he cleaned around her. Jonny had little time to notice anything different about Jac at work as he had also been extremely busy; however at home it was easy to see that Jac was behaving different to how she usually would but Jonny couldn't think of anything he could do to resolve the situation. He knew she was nervous about seeing her mother tomorrow, but they had been through things and he decided that she just needed to get it over and done with now and afterwards she would feel better; it was just the anticipation that was making her nervous. She was pretending to be asleep when he finally came up to bed; he knew she was pretending as her breathing pattern was different and she looked a lot more elegant than she normally did when she was sleeping. He let it go however as it was clear she didn't want to talk about it; he undressed and got into the bed next to her and pulled her softly towards him. Even in his strong arms, she could not fall asleep as fast as she usually would, and spent half of the night staring across the room while listening to Jonny's snoring, which after a while became insufferable and she spent the rest of the night downstairs trying to sleep on an uncomfortable leather sofa.

Her sleep was very limited as she woke up every couple of hours, her brain deciding that it was too busy to sleep. She was grateful to be allowed to get up at six when it was quite acceptable to be pottering around in the kitchen as she was making Erin's lunch. An hour later, Erin had come down showered and dressed and quite annoyed that she had been woken up so early.  
"Mother I don't appreciate being woken up half an hour before I usually have to." She said through a yawn.  
"You will have more time to get ready and you can actually get to school on time for once. I have had enough of your teachers complaining." She argued back, handing her daughter a coffee and a piece of toast with jam. Erin just grunted her response before engulfing the toast and sipping the hot liquid. Jonny finally made an appearance ten minutes before Erin had to be given a lift to school.  
"You're going to have to make breakfast yourself; I'm giving Erin a lift." A tired-looking Jonny just nodded, also wondering why Jac was running around like a headless chicken at ridiculous times of the morning. It was only after they had left that Jonny had realised that today was the day. He made himself breakfast like Jac had told him to do, before showering and then getting dressed in a denim shirt and black jeans. Jac didn't get back until half-eight; at which point she was sufficiently stressed and angry and Jonny wondered how many drivers had suffered at Jac's road rage.

Jonny could sense her nerves and thought that it would better to go sooner rather than later and he suggested this to Jac, who panicked. She wanted to get it over with but at the same time she just wished that she didn't have to do this. She made excuses in her head all the way to the car but in the end, reluctantly her body manoeuvred itself into the seat next to Jonny and they left their house behind in order to visit her dying mother and to find out her news. It didn't take long for them to get to the house, although their journey was silent and painful.  
"Shall we go then?" Jonny parked outside the house and had already opened his door, whereas Jac hadn't even undone her seatbelt.  
"This is a bad idea. I don't think I can do it." Jonny shut the door again.  
"Alright, are you telling me you want to drive away now?" Jac shook her head but didn't offer anything more. "Look, we can go home now, forget about your mother and you father and we can get on with our lives. But Jac, I know you and this is a chance to find out once and for all about your father. I know you have always had your suspicions; well this is the time for you to prove that you were right. This is not anything about letting your mother use you or hurt you anymore, because I will be there and I will not let that happen." Jac nodded and unclipped her seatbelt and got out of the car. Jonny followed her up the path; both of them hesitated before the door. Jac was preparing herself and had masked her face with a look of confidence which only Jonny would know was false. She knocked harshly on the door and they could hear an old man on the other side of it complaining about a 'sick woman' and how 'people should be more considerate!' The door was pulled open relatively forcefully by the old man who was prepared to shout at the 'hooligan' at the door before his jaw dropped at the sight of his granddaughter.  
"Jackie?" His eyes squinted even though he could see her perfectly well even without his glasses.  
"It's Jac." The cold voice hissing from Jac was not one that Jonny had heard very often and even then it had been less icy; it didn't even sound like Jac who had been so different since she had got Erin back and they had become a family. Her grandfather nodded and opened the door wider to let them both in. Jac stepped in very cautiously but with the same confidence with which she had knocked on the door.  
"Where is she then?" She said to the old man who followed them through to the kitchen, the only place that Jac had been into in this house.  
"She's upstairs, I'll go tell her your here. I'm glad you came Jac." She scowled before replying.  
"She doesn't need the warning, just take us to her, and also, I didn't come for her. I don't care in the slightest about anyone in this... 'family'" She spat the last word viciously. Her grandfather nodded; Jonny could see that he was hurt by her words but he cared more about Jac to be at all worried about who she hurt in this house. They walked quite quickly up the stairs, Jac following the old man just one step behind eager now that she had gained some real confidence.

They found the room and instead of exploding like Jonny had thought she would, Jac walked slowly round to the side of her mother's bed and whispered into her ear.  
"I'm here." The voice was quite sinister and Jonny did not like it one bit; at that moment he wished she had gone for an outburst of anger. Paula stirred slightly and her face of sleeping calm was replaced by a look of shock as she looked into her daughter's eyes which were staring scarily back into hers.  
"Jac?" Paula whispered.  
"Where is he?" Jac pressed her mother for answers now, she was becoming impatient as the woman tried to turn in her bed and sit up slightly. "Come on, you said you wanted to tell me this, so tell me." She talked very fast, the volume of her voice slightly rising with every word.  
"You're here, I didn't think that you'd come." She woman smiled; this was a big mistake on her part. Jac stood up angrily.  
"I didn't come for you, you evil woman!" Here was the anger and Jac began ranting, Jonny let out a sigh of relief, for he was worried she would do something much worse than shouting at her.  
"Jac sit down please I'll tell you!" Paula managed to shout back at her daughter, who did not sit down as requested, but became silent.  
"Then do it." She spat, towering over her mother.  
"He has another family, they live in Ireland." Her mother said extremely quickly, knowing that in her frail state she was in no way strong enough to fight off her daughter and so she gave in to her.  
"That's it? That's all you know?" Jac heard the words but didn't register them; she was expecting an address of some sorts, a phone number at least.  
"Yes I swear. If I knew more I'd tell you Jac."  
"I thought you did know more. That's all you have? You thought that would be enough, when you told me he was dead?!" She screamed the last word, her emotions getting the better of her. Jonny rushed to her side but she wouldn't let him touch her.  
"How can I find him?" She said inquisitively.  
"I don't know. I just know he lives in Dublin somewhere. You can search for people though can't you, on the computer?" She was beginning to lose her breath now as she spoke. Jac wasn't concentrating and so it was up to Jonny to put an oxygen mask on to her face because her grandfather had disappeared.  
"You brought me here, just for that? You disgust me. Even now, when I thought there was nothing more that you could do to hurt me, you somehow find a way. On your deathbed and this is what you're doing to cross off things on your checklist? 'Find another way to break your daughter' is that it? I knew he was _alive_ Paula, I've known that for a very long time. How could I not be suspicious when my grandfather is walking around downstairs? He was the final piece of proof that I needed to realise that you were a lying cow." Paula was barely breathing now and Jac still hadn't noticed as she continued shouting at her mother and pacing around the room. It was only after her last sentence that she became aware of her mother having a coughing fit. Paula could not breathe through the oxygen mask that was being forced on to her face, however this time it was not Jonny doing the forcing; it was Jac.


	30. Chapter 30

**Hey hey! Hi-World thanks for your review (thanks for all of them actually)! :D Hope this chapter paints Jac in a better light :') Anywayyyy Enjoy everyone and please review! Please point out any rubbish spelling/grammar, I do proof read but sometimes I miss stuff :/**

Paula was flailing her arms around, trying to prevent her daughter from saving her; Jac did not have the time to wonder why she was doing this as all her energy went into the putting the oxygen mask back on to her face. This woman had destroyed her life and yet here she was trying as hard as she could to prevent her from killing herself and Paula was having none of it. With some strength that she had mustered out of God knows where, she pushed Jac away from her and continued trying to gulp the air from outside the mask that hung limply from her neck. Jonny tried to help her but she waved him away and a look was all it took for Jonny to obey her wishes. She stopped gasping for breath; she stopped doing anything. Her body made involuntary twitches and Jac rushed once again towards her. Paula's eyes opened again and she made one last effort.  
"Jac...I'm... sorry."  
"No. No! Jonny you need to call an ambulance, NOW!" Jac started chest compressions, her whole medical knowledge flying out of the window. She began counting and she pushed heavily on her mother's chest. Jonny watched for a moment, knowing there was nothing that Jac could do, but he was unsure of how to help in this situation. "I... don't forgive... you! You have to... come back! I don't... forgive you!" She was shouting at the top of her voice as she continued, staring hard at her mother's expressionless face. Jac's grandfather had reappeared, although neither Jonny nor Jac knew when he had arrived and he had just remained standing at the door frame, and neither knew he was there still. Until he spoke.  
"Jac?" he said quietly but loud enough for her to hear him. "You need to stop." His tone remained quiet but authoritative. She looked at him for a moment, but she carried on.  
"Do you not see? She said sorry before she died... because that way she was absolved... but I don't forgive her... She needs to know... that I will _never_ forgive her for what she did." She tried to sound as though she was in control, as though she knew what she was doing, as though she wasn't letting her emotions rule her. However her arms were starting to tire from pushing so much for that woman to live and so when Jonny walked around the bed and she tried to fight him off, it didn't work and he managed to pull her away pretty easily. She continued to shout but the sound was muffled into his shirt as he gripped her close to him.

An ambulance came shortly after to take the body away; Jac and Jonny were both getting into the car and were stationary until the yellow and green machine had driven away, taking Jac's mother and devastated grandfather far from them. Jac had become silent when she had been ushered down the stairs while her grandfather and Jonny spoke to the paramedics. She remained quiet when Jasmine arrived home to find her mother dead and her half-sister in her house; Jac just sat and watched as Jasmine's face crumpled and she became extremely tearful. The journey home was a quiet one because after that fiasco she seemed slightly embarrassed for that to have happened, and for her to have reacted like that when she knew she was better. It was also because the images of her mother and Jasmine and her grandfather would come floating in and out of her brain, as much as she willed them away. She sat back in the car with her eyes closed and her arms crossed tightly over her chest; this was her defensive pose and as much as Jonny tried to talk to her, she stayed that way the whole ride home.

It was only mid afternoon when they arrived back at the house and the sun was still shining brightly outside which was unhelpful to Jac Naylor who sat on her bed, her knees high up to her chest and her head rested on them. The body language signified that nobody was going to talk to her until she decided and Jonny knew that it would be a waste of time trying; except Jonny never took no for an answer.  
"Jac?" He knocked on the closed door three times and without waiting for a reply, he pushed it open gently. She didn't even move when he walked in and sat next to her, causing the bed to move down and Jac being in the position she was in, was unable to steady herself as she fell slightly to the left on to Jonny. He put his arm around her, her conflicting ideas on wanting to be alone, and not wanting to move or talk meant she lifted her head up after a few minutes. Jonny saw that she had been crying and stroked her face in an attempt to wipe the mascara tracks off her cheeks. She looked paler than she normally was and Jonny could see the bags under her eyes which were normally well hidden, her eyes were red and not just because of the crying; in fact, looking at her close up allowed him to see all the signs that she had not been sleeping and that this whole situation with her mother had been eating away at her.  
"I'm sorry." She said simply even though she hadn't been prompted.  
"Why?" Jonny was confused but allowed her to explain herself before he would reassure her that she had nothing wrong.  
"I didn't even care that she was dying. I only cared that she had apologised and I didn't want her to. My own mother is dead and I don't care! I'm just like her." She had begun raising her voice until the last sentence, which she said quietly.  
"No way. I'm not going to let you do this Jac. You are nothing like her! You care about those who matter to you and I know that and Erin knows that and now that you have opened up, people at work can see this amazing side to you too!" He had turned her face round by placing his hands on her cheeks. He looked into her eyes but she was still avoiding his gaze.  
"I just lost it. I knew I would; I kept having dreams about her dying and in some of them I really did care, but in most I was just glad she was gone. What kind of person am I?" A shocked expression accompanied these words as though she was disgusted with herself. She expected the same look to appear on Jonny's face, but his remained calm and loving towards her and it was making her feel slightly sick. She pulled her head out of his hands. "How can you still look at me? I didn't save her! And even though I wanted to, it wasn't because I wanted her to live, it's because she didn't deserve to just be able to go and leave me with her apology." Jonny didn't reply but grabbed one of her hands and just held it while she continued to talk. "She just left and because she said sorry, she was forgiven in her eyes before she died. She tricked me into going and I didn't see it. I never see it when it comes to her. I always want to give her a chance. I thought she had changed when she wanted to tell me about my dad, I didn't say it because I didn't want to jinx it. But I thought, maybe in her last days she has realised. But no, she tricked me. She barely knew anything about my dad and now she's dead with my 'forgiveness'." She was sobbing gently now and Jonny kept hold of her hand. He didn't know whether this was her version of grief or whether she was truly angry at her mother. He had pulled her back on to him so he could hear everything that had happened in her life; she was explaining why she was the way she was and she kept thinking 'why hasn't he gone yet?' He let her talk; more to herself than to him, but he could see that it was making her feel better, just being able to get all these feelings out. Everything she had felt from the day she had been abandoned to this day when the woman had died, leaving Jac once again, broken. This time however, Jac had someone. He was not going to let her feel alone or unloved, as much as she thought he would. The gaps between each recall were becoming longer as she struggled to talk, partly because she couldn't stop crying and also because of days' worth of sleep catching up with her. Her breathing slowed down and he gently lowered her down on to the bed. He took her shoes off her and pulled the thick blanket over her body and let her sleep.

Erin was eager to hear everything that had happened, but from Jonny's subdued appearance when she walked through the door, she could already tell it hadn't gone to plan. They talked for a while about what had happened, and Erin went to look in on her mother who blinked rapidly as her eyes became accustomed to the light coming through the door. She saw the outline of Erin walk towards her and place a kiss upon her head before whispering that she loved her. After she had walked out of the room, Jac felt lighter as though a huge weight had been lifted from her. As horrible as she was feeling right now, she knew she was going to be able to get through it and be happy, because she was loved.


	31. Chapter 31

**Thank you all so much for the reviews they were so lovely! This is just a filler but enjoy and please review :D**

Jac slept in until very late and Jonny had to cover for her at work and pretend that she was ill; he didn't know that his words were half true as she woke up and rushed to the bathroom to throw up, the events of yesterday being too much for her as she remembered causing a huge wave if nausea to hit her. With no Erin or Jonny to be there for her, only two separate notes each saying similar things about 'how they were at work or college, she needed to just relax today and they would see her later, Jac set about making herself busy. She cleaned the whole house; she literally scrubbed until she could see her reflection in the floors. She washed every dish she could find in the house, even if they appeared to be clean already, she polished all the ornaments on the cabinets and rearranged the house completely. When it seemed like there was nothing else to do, she decided to plan some more for Erin's party even though she had planned every minor detail and she really was in no mood to think about a celebratory occasion right now. She even watched some TV; this was a rarity for Jac who only ever watched television on a Saturday night with Erin and that was dependent on work.

Jonny spent most of the day busy, which he was grateful for. He rang Jac when he could and became slightly worried when she hadn't answered the phone at ten o'clock. She had called him back as soon as she had noticed the four missed calls, which was at twelve o'clock when she had finally managed to pull herself out of bed. He was of course worried about her but when he had suggested that he come home she had told him off as though he was a small child, telling him not be silly and she could take care of herself. They both thought back to yesterday however, when Jac was certainly in no condition to look after herself and it was Jonny who had helped her. There had been a silence on the phone for some time while they both thought about it before Jac told him that she was in the middle of watching a "very interesting documentary about food waste and -" Jonny just laughed at her and let her go. He didn't worry as much for the rest of the day but continued to check up on her, even though she got slightly more irritated every time, finally exclaiming that she wasn't a child. She apologised quickly after though and she said thank you before she hung up the phone.

Eventually there became a time where the floor had felt the wrath of the vacuum so many times that she was just hovering air. She had also exhausted her television watching as most of the shows she had watched were now being repeated but this time there was a person at the bottom of the screen translating the show for deaf people. It was at this time she finally gave in to the temptation and she pulled the laptop from where she had tidied it away and began to search. She typed the name Thomas Naylor into the search engine along with 'Dublin' scanning through the results, clicking on those that could have been him; she tried Tommy as he had been known back when she was a child, and also Tom as a final resort. By the end of her hour-long search she had formulated a short list of people who had the potential to be her father. She couldn't be sure what he would look like now, although she had been able to eliminate some of the candidates based on their appearance as they were either too old or too young or didn't have the right facial features. She scanned the list that she had made, written down scruffily on a piece of lined paper along with their contact details. She decided that she would send emails now to those who had provided that information and then when Jonny arrived home she could call the one who had provided this. There was one that had only given their addresses so she would have to write to him, but she would use the same as she had written in the emails to send to him.

_Dear Mr Naylor,  
Hello my name is Jacqueline Naylor and I am looking for my father whom I haven't seen since I was eight years old, it was just under 30 years ago. My 'dear' mother (Paula Burrows) lied to me for the majority of my life and so I have never been able to find him until recently she told me (just before she died) that he was still alive and living in Dublin. He has a family of his own but I would love to just see him again, or just speak to him, even if it is to say he wants nothing to do with me. I have been searching for people who have the name Thomas Naylor in the hope that one of the few people I have found with that name is my father. Please send me a message back if that's you or if you have some information that could help me.  
Thank you for reading this, especially if you are quite puzzled by it and have no idea who I am; in which case I am very sorry for wasting your time but I hope that you can see it is for a valuable cause.  
Yours Sincerely,  
Jac Naylor_

Jac decided that this generic email was reasonable and added all of the address that she had written down into the bar at the top, taking extra care when she was typing. There were only two people that she had to add; the search results had been very specific which was helpful in that she had less people who could potentially be her father. She clicked send and her heart skipped a beat as she felt an enormous surge of panic and nervousness come over her, making her feel sick for the second time that day. After she had got a drink to calm her down a bit, she copied the test from the email into a word document, added her address at the top and printed it. She received it and folded it neatly and spent a lot of time searching the house for an envelope, finally discovering one as she heard Jonny opening the front door.  
"Hello?" He said loudly in his deep Scottish accent. She called back that she was in the kitchen and she had some news. "Oh right; what is it then?" he said as he made his way through the hallway into the kitchen. He planted a kiss on her head and flicked the kettle on.  
"I have potentially found my dad." Jonny's face broke into a huge grin and he came up behind her pulling her into a hug.  
"That's great!"  
"Well, it's only potentially at the moment but I have been searching and I have found 4 people who have the same name, are around the right age and live in Ireland. Although if nobody gets back to me I'm going to have to widen my search." She gibbered on and he just watched her with an almost pitying look, except he knew better than to do that. She must know that there was a very small chance that one of these was her father, but he hadn't the heart to mention this right now as he saw how happy she was; this was the first time in a while she had been genuinely happy. He texted Erin to warn her not to say anything when her mum told her when she finally got home from school too, because he wouldn't take away her happiness right now. It was for this reason that he stood by her side when she rang the Tom Naylor who had provided a phone number…


	32. Chapter 32

**Hey guys, sorry it's taken a while for the update :s Thanks for all your reviews/faves/follows. Enjoy this chapter and please review :D **

The phone call had amounted to nothing and although Jac had tried to hide her disappointment, Jonny could tell that she had hoped she would find him straight away. She had received a letter back soon after too, wishing her luck with her search but unfortunately, he was not her dad. On the day of Erin's party however, Jac was too busy being a stressed-out parent and all thoughts of finding her father had vanished from her mind as she was busy sorting out the food and decorations for the venue, as well as giving out gifts. Erin had spent most of the morning admiring her presents from Jac and Jonny; the smallest including jewellery all the way up to the largest which was a new car. Erin had been over the moon as she had been led outside, Jonny's hands covering her eyes and Jac holding her hand pulling her closer to see the red Volkswagen Polo that sat on the drive besides her mother's car, while Jonny's had been moved to the street at the front. Jonny removed his hands from her face after she had complained that his palms were sweaty; she had looked towards where her mother was standing: next to a car that had a huge sign attached to the side saying 'Happy Birthday!' She ran towards her mother first and gave her such a big hug that Jac thought all of the air from her lungs had been squeezed out. She next turned to Jonny and gave him an equally large hug. She then went back to admiring her car, while Jonny just looked quite shocked. Jac patted him on the shoulder as she walked up the path and he followed her inside.

"What's that face for?" Jac had been smiling all day and it was a change for Jonny to see her like this after their lives had been chaos for quite some time. However the question had been directed at Jonny who still looked quite puzzled.  
"That was weird."  
"What?"  
"Well she gave me a hug; she thanked me as much as you. I know we bought the presents together but I didn't expect her to realise. Obviously I wouldn't have minded if she hadn't because it's not like I'm any relation to her, really." Jac continued to smile as Jonny carried on explaining. "It's only been a few months Jac, but I dunno, it just feels as though we're a proper family." Jac knew exactly what Jonny meant; she had been watching her daughter and Jonny become closer over what happened with her mother, and although she was not pleased by the level of mischief they were causing as they joined forces, she was happy because as Jonny had said, they did feel like a proper family and that was all Jac wanted since Paul had left with Erin. She was unsure of how Erin had trusted Jonny so quickly after what she had been through with her father; although, the more she thought about it like that, the more she could. She needed two parents in her life, and Jonny was a ready-made father figure. Jac knew he had been aching for children since they had declared they were in a real relationship and she could see that he was trying his very hardest to be there for Erin as if he were someone to her. She was sure that Erin trusted him more because Jac herself trusted him; she trusted him more than anyone, and maybe Erin could see that. Jac had never really asked Erin how she felt about Jonny, she had just hoped for the best as she tried to help them get to know each other better by going on days out and moving in with him had obviously helped.  
"Well we are a family really, aren't we?" Jac walked over to him now with two drinks in her hands. She set them down on the table then sat on Jonny's lap.  
"Yeah, I guess." He smiled back at her and she leaned in to kiss him. After a few seconds they broke apart, "So how would you like to maybe, make the family a bit bigger?" Jac had been waiting for this. They were living the perfect domesticated life and to be completely honest she had been thinking about it herself (along with that niggling thought about wedding dresses), but then there was work and how much time she would have to take off and then there was Erin who had only just got her mother back, and then her and Jonny had only been together for... just under a year. Really, collectively with their periods of being on and off, they had been together for almost a year. She was shocked slightly as she realised this, still draped across Jonny who was waiting for her answer. He was watching her expectedly and, although she was panicking inwardly, she didn't want to let him down.  
"I... well if we are going to do this, then I need to talk to Erin first, but I think... I think we could be ready." His face exploded into a huge grin; she found it surprising when he kissed her again suddenly. At this point Erin walked into the kitchen from the front with a matching grin that turned into a vomit mime as she spotted her mother and Jonny.

They eventually broke apart to be able to transport things to the venue; as happy as they both were, Jac was incredibly nervous and stressed about the smooth running of this party and Jonny, sensing this, was nervous for her. The stress seemed to get too much at one point as Jac was becoming increasingly tired and had to take a break, while Jonny and Erin complained that she was slacking. Finally they had carted all the food and decorations to the venue and had left to allow the staff to get on with making the place look good enough for a seventeenth. Jac had driven the staff crazy telling them exactly what she wanted and Jonny had to try and keep her calm during the journey home as she complained that they were incompetent and useless. Jonny had noticed her sudden change in mood after their discussion about expanding their family and decided that, after Erin's party, he would have to talk about what it was that was bothering her. He became slightly worried that she had changed her mind and this was all that went through his head for the rest of the day as they celebrated Erin's birthday. Jac had of course been worrying about what she had agreed to with Jonny, but it wasn't because she didn't want to have children with him. It was because she was worried about it happening again. She became panicked that what happened with Erin would happen again and she would lose out on a family yet again. She had missed so much with Erin that she thought another child would make up for it, but then she began to think about work and how much time she would spend there and not with this other child. She thought about how unfair it would be on Erin; she had only just walked back into her mother's life and she was just about to have another baby. Erin needed attention and Jac was unsure about whether she could give it to her if she was busy with a baby.

After they had shopping for a new dress for both Jac and Erin, and a new suit for Jonny it was time for the party. Erin had chosen a short red dress with very high black wedges which Jac loved but ultimately agreed with Jonny that they were a bit impractical and could lead to injury. By injury Jonny meant Erin's boyfriend whom he had taken a dislike to. Jonny made sure that Jake knew he didn't like him much and was taking the step-in father role very seriously. However both Jonny and Jac beamed as Erin blew out the candles on her cake in front of a huge crowd of people who looked as though they were having a good time; this was being filmed of course by Jonny's friend who had been hired to take photos and videos during the night and had charged 'mate's rates' Jac had initially disapproved but as she worked out the cost of the party she had to change her mind. Jac couldn't care any less about how expensive the party was now, as she watched her daughter chatting with friends, dancing and generally having a good time. There had also been a moment where she had brought her mother on to the dance floor and although initially quite embarrassed, Jac soon danced along to a song from the 80s along with a couple of other 'oldies' who had joined them. Jonny had taken over from Erin now and was 'dad dancing' with Jac while Erin watched, with a face red enough to match her hair. After enough embarrassment had taken place and people had had their fill of dancing and the crowd was beginning to thin, Jac collapsed on to a chair closest to her and sighed heavily, tiredness catching up with her after the stressful day. Jonny found a seat next to her as Erin waved people off and thanked them for coming.  
"You've been practising your dad-dancing since last time Jonathan." Jac put her head on Jonny's shoulder, she could feel him laughing as his shoulder moved up and down before stopping slowly and she shut her eyes. Her moment of calm was disturbed by a violent buzzing on the table behind her. She sighed and spun around, feeling a little dizzy and nauseated and went to pick up her phone which was signalling an email. Not thinking anything of it, she slid the bar across the screen and tapped gently on to the new email. She didn't even bother to read who it was from, thinking that it must have been Hanssen, before the email appeared on her screen. It was at this moment that Jac fell from her chair and collided with the ground, her head making heavy contact and her eyes already closing. The phone lay beside her, still shining bright white while the text of the email stood out black against it. Jonny was not concentrating on this however, as he had already begun his inspection of Jac.


	33. Chapter 33

**Hey, thanks for reading everyone :) Hope you enjoy this chapter, it's a bit of a filler really but please review :)**

It must have only been a few seconds, but Jac lying on the floor unconscious for any amount of time was enough to cause Jonny some bother. She blinked rapidly as she came around; Jonny's face in close proximity to her own and her name being said over and over.  
"Are you alright?" She could hear the panic in his voice; this was less than the panic that she was feeling. She just felt dizzy and confused and a little nauseas. He helped her up slowly, her pale face slowly gaining some colour as he did so.  
"I'm okay." Jac smiled unconvincingly as she sat back on her chair. She put her head down and breathed in huge gulps of air to prevent her from feeling so sick.  
"Are you sure? I think we should take you to the hospital, just to make sure." She went to shake her head but the motion just made her feel worse.  
"No, I'm fine I just need a minute. I'm not going anywhere."  
"Jac," She lifted her head up and shot him a death glare.  
"I'm fine Jonny, I'm not ruining today for Erin, I just moved too fast, that's all. Can you pass me my phone please?" He glared back at her for a moment before reluctantly accepting that she wouldn't be won round on her daughter's birthday. He turned and picked up her phone, noticing the email and reading it before he passed it on. His jaw dropped as he did.  
"Interesting then?" She couldn't find the energy to scold him for reading her personal things; instead she just wanted to know what had made him react as he did.  
"It's him; it's your dad." Jac had to resist the urge to stand up and grab the phone from him as she felt like the next sudden movement she made would make her vomit. Instead she waited for him to pass the phone to her, after he himself had read all the details. She scanned the reply slowly, taking it all in, and allowed a smile to form on her lips for a minute.

Erin finally walked back into the hall, and took the seat next to her mother, knowing nothing about what had happened as Jac was now sat up straight hiding her discovery about her father and the fact that she had just collapsed very well. Today was not the day, Jac thought, as a huge grin was mirrored on both hers and her daughter's face as they chatted animatedly about the party as they decided to go home. Jonny joined in at some parts but was more concerned about Jac and what had happened; he was also now concentrating on the road as it was now pitch black, having left the staff at the venue to clear away the mess and were now travelling back at around midnight. When they finally got home, exhaustion was setting in and the trio each made their way to their rooms, after having a final exchange of 'thank yous' and hugs and kisses.

Jac and Jonny both lay awake; Jac knew she wasn't going to get much sleep that night anyway with the excitement of how well that party had gone and now she had the added happiness of having found her dad. She opened the message on her phone again and read it properly this time; she read it out loud to Jonny's request.  
"_Dear Jac,  
I'm so glad you have finally found me! I had no idea you were in England; all this time I thought you had gone to India with your mother. You never replied to any of the birthday or Christmas cards so I assumed you had gone and long since forgotten about your old dad."_ She paused, looking sadly at the phone, "I never got any of those cards, I bet my mum threw them out when they came." She said, looking at Jonny. He looked sadly back at her, before motioning for her to continue. "_I can believe that your mother wouldn't tell you about me, after all, she told me that she had taken you with her and before that, she told me you wanted nothing to do with me at all. So I'm so glad that it's not true and you finally know that I wanted nothing more than to stay with you. The only reason I left in the first place was because of that woman, I only hope you can understand why and I hope that one day you might forgive me for leaving you with her."_  
"He sounds like you." Jonny interrupted; Jac looked at him, puzzled. "Well he seems to be blaming himself for what she did, isn't that what you did for the last 20 odd years?" She thought about this and smiled, now having even more faith in the man who had sent her the email and also in the man who lay next to her, and was supporting her through all of this. She smiled and rested her head on his chest; she had to move it around a bit as a lump had formed at the back from where she had hit the ground earlier. She then continued to read.  
"_Anyway, we will have enough time to talk about this when we meet. This is a more pressing matter seeing as you live in England and I in Dublin. I'm currently not busy, I retired last year and have been enjoying Ireland's countryside so I do think it would be far easier for me to come to you, unless you want a holiday. I'm extremely excited to see you, if that's still what you want. Just let me know as soon as you can! Love from, dad."_ Jac couldn't help but grin when she read this last paragraph; her dad was definitely coming to see her, after almost thirty years of not knowing where he was or if he even cared about her; they were finally going to see each other again.  
"You know, I wouldn't mind going to Ireland." Jonny said, even thought he knew what the answer would be.  
"I would too, but we can't just go to Ireland, we have work. Besides, he says it'd be better for him to come here."  
"I thought we were going on holiday at Easter anyway, why not change the plans and visit your dad?"  
"Easter is still ages away; the way he's talking, I think he means right away. We could go to visit him in the holidays as well." Jac was talking as though the meeting with her dad had already happened, and was already planning future visits. Jonny took notice of this, as he didn't want her to get her hopes up too much, except he couldn't help but think that the email sounded so genuine that just this once, he might allow it.  
"All right then; so we're saying goodbye to sunny Spain and hello to... Ireland?"  
"I guess so."  
"Well you're telling Erin then!" Jonny joked.  
"Oh fine, thanks for that!" But she couldn't help smiling; it seemed she had forgotten her collapse before, but Jonny hadn't. He let her fall asleep on him, while he continued to lie awake, thinking about the many things that had infiltrated their way into his life recently; his main concern being Jac of course, and whether she was playing down her fall earlier. Of course she was, it was Jac, he thought, before he fell asleep himself.


	34. Chapter 34

**Hey guys, thanks for reading and reviewing :) Easter holidays so should be more frequent with updates, my other fic will be updated this weekend too :) Enjoy and pleeeeeaassseeeeeee review :D xx**

The couple woke up having had around five hours sleep, so it was safe to say that neither of them was enjoying the birdsong that came with the early morning or the thought of the long day at work that lay ahead for them both. Jonny had requested one more time for Jac to get herself checked over when they got there, but she just glared and he knew the conversation was over. He chanced asking her if she wanted him to call in sick for her as they got ready and Jac once again experienced a wave of nausea, but his efforts were trumped as she emerged from the bathroom looking considerably less pale than when she had gone in and with a look that said 'you pester me one more time, and I will staple your lips together' yes really, her face did say that; Jonny didn't know why this look bemused him, he should have known that her face was so versatile it could express almost any feeling. Having left Erin a note, as she did every morning when they left early for work, they made it to the car without another word about how frail and tired Jac was looking recently or how she really should see someone about this sickness; this didn't prevent Jonny from thinking about it, naturally. They instead talked about the prospect of Jac's father coming to visit; Jac had made sure to email him back as soon as she woke up saying that she would love for him to come to England and visit her and her family. She had hesitated before she wrote the word family; at first she was going to write daughter, but then she would love for her father to meet Jonny too, as he was becoming quite a huge and fundamental part of her life. She then found the perfect word, the word that Jonny had used to describe them after he had received a hug from Erin; the word family, as much as she had previously had no definition to the term, was perfectly suited to the situation and she had now found the meaning of it.

"I wonder if I still look like him." Jac mused as she sat in the passenger seat of Jonny's black golf. Her own car had become more-or-less redundant over the past three months and she had considered selling it.  
"If you looked like a man, I'd be worried!"  
"Oh ha ha, very funny Jonathan." She rolled her eyes at him before continuing, "I was always told I had a look of my dad but I don't even know what he looks like anymore."  
"Well even if you don't look like him, you can rest assured you look nothing like your mother." Jac smiled to herself; she didn't look anything like her mother and for that she was thankful. If she had to look in the mirror everyday and be reminded of that woman, she would not know how to cope. The only thing she got from her mother's side was her fiery red hair and even then her mother's had been dyed a dirty blonde since Jac could remember. This was probably one of the reasons Jac had never wanted to dye her own hair; she could handle the bullying and the taunts at primary school as that difference made her special, and when she got to secondary school well, nobody would dare bullying her or call her any names of any sort because they'd get a punch in the mouth.  
"Paula said he had another family in Ireland but he didn't mention them in his email."  
"Give the guy a chance, he only just started speaking to you again, I'm sure it'll come up in his visit. Besides, it's only more half-brothers and sisters for you to shout at." Jonny raised his eyebrow at her, remembering her treatment of Jasmine. Jac shook her head; Jasmine was different because she was her mother's child. Jasmine was the child that her mother wanted and Jac wasn't; that's why Jac wanted nothing to do with her, because of jealousy. Then again she had the right to be jealous at her father's children too as they had had all this extra time with her father when she hadn't, just the same as Jasmine with her mother. Jac was now considering her options when it came to Jasmine; she could try again and get to know her half sister, but would it be too much for her after all that had happened? Would Jasmine even want to know her anymore? All these questions would have to be answered later as they reached the hospital car park.

Jonny was out of the car quickly and round to Jac's side before she could even remove her seatbelt; he opened the door for her, trying to act chivalrous but all this received was a roll of the eyes and a sarcastic grin. Jac pulled herself out of the car, having to steady herself on the metal frame of the car as she once again felt feint. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea of Jonny's to get checked out. Before she could consider this more, she felt a vibration in her coat pocket signalling a message. She retrieved it quickly after stepping out of the car and slid the bar across the screen. She had received yet another email from her father.  
_Hello Jac, I can't wait to come and meet your family and of course, see you again. I was thinking that sometime this week would be a fantastic time for me; my grandchildren are still at school this week and I've promised them endless days out in the Easter holidays so I will be quite busy. Of course if this isn't a good time for you then please just say and we'll arrange a time._  
Jac almost squealed like an over-excited fan girl at the thought of her father arriving during the week, but she composed herself quickly and passed the phone to Jonny. Jonny read the message quickly as he could see the excitement rising in her eyes and she wanted to share it with him. She held out her hand, not for her phone but for his hand to hold, and she cheerfully pulled him in through the hospital doors.

Jac didn't let anything dampen her mood at work that day; not the constant niggling feeling of tiredness or even the annoying twittering of Tara who was eagerly waiting to ask her something every second of the day. The staff took advantage of her cheerful mood; papers were signed with her agreement that whatever it was, was a 'good idea' she even helped Tara a little with her research paper, but one hour was all she could handle before surgery otherwise her sickness bug or whatever it was, might not be the only reason for her to collapse; she may have done so from boredom. Jac remained busy for the majority of the day, with an interesting case which involved a heavily pregnant woman and a difficult procedure, taking her fancy. The operation that the woman needed was very risky without a baby, and so Jac Naylor of course made it her mission to complete the surgery successfully and with a healthy baby being delivered by caesarean during it. Nothing was beyond the excellent cardiothoracic surgeon Jac Naylor today.

"Unless you find yourself collapsing in theatre." There he's said it; Jac had been sat at the nurses' station looking at her patient's scans on the computer, nodding to herself. She could do this today, but what Jonny said as he sat at her side watching her, was certainly a thought that had played on her own mind. She was sure it was nothing to worry about but a risky procedure like this one was going to need all of her concentration and if she was worrying about the waves of nausea and constant threat of losing consciousness, then was she the best person for the job? She dismissed the thought quickly, she couldn't afford to doubt her own abilities.  
"I'll be fine; but if I still feel like this I will see someone tomorrow? You happy?"  
"As I can be." Jonny said with a smile that hid both of their worries about whether Jac could hold up in theatre.


	35. Chapter 35

**Heyy :) Hope you're all enjoying the Easter holidays :D Thanks for reading/reviewing/favouriting/following :D Enjoy this chapter and please review xx**

The few seconds that baby wasn't breathing seemed like minutes to both Mo and Jac, who were operating on the mother, whose panicked state was not optimum for heart surgery. Luckily a sharp cry filled the air and at the same time Jac let out a huge sigh of relief; one for the baby and one for the fact she hadn't yet collapsed beside the table. The anaesthetic set in and the mother slowly closed her eyes to the sound of her child being soothed by the nurses. Jonny watched his girlfriend closely, barely taking his eyes off of her for one minute; he saw the tiny beads of sweat on her forehead multiply as she fought on in her battle with the operation and against the threat her body was posing. He was too busy watching her expressions to notice that her hands were as steady as they always were and they were quick in completing the task that was put before them. Jac's full concentration was on the woman who lay in front of her and that was all. The operation was going to be successful.

Then there was a bleed; an unexpected problem when all that Jac had done was perfect and there were no mystery symptoms this time. She was completely aware of what she was doing but somehow the mistake had been made. The red liquid came gushing out and Jac's heart beat twice its normal rate. She lost control of her hands and her head spun. For a moment Jac had lost control of the situation. She had somehow blocked out the noise of Mo shouting at her to fix the bleed and she looked up, straight into Jonny's eyes. She noticed the panic that was there in his face and she couldn't allow it; she had to believe that she could do this for everyone else to. She stopped shaking; her eyes reverted back into the woman's open chest and they focused on the problem. Her heart continued to beat faster and faster until the situation had been resolved. She allowed a relieved sigh to erupt from behind her mask. Her head stopped spinning and her heart calmed down. Jonny watched her until the bitter end when she asked Mo to close up just so she could rip the gloves from hands and the mask from her face quickly as well as the robe from her shoulders so she could stand by the sink breathing in huge sighs of relief. She couldn't feel anything other than relief in that moment as the operation was a success and her mystery illness was not bothering her now at all.

Jonny followed her quickly from the theatre and out on to the ward where she was now stood talking to her patient's husband, filling him in on the operation. Jonny stood a fair distance back until Jac had finished talking and the man had walked back towards his wife's room with a smile of relief on his face.  
"You okay? What was with the bleed? Do you feel okay?" Jonny had caught up with Jac on her way back to her office.  
"I'm fine. The bleed had nothing to do with anything. I nicked something, but I got it under control."  
"You left theatre pretty quick." She raised her eyebrow at the nurse who kept questioning her.  
"I'm fine I just wanted to get out of there before anything did happen. Not that it would. I'm feeling better. The bleed was nothing to do with that. I promise." She smiled her most convincing smile and Jonny just had to accept and kiss her before getting back to work. Jac meanwhile sat back in her chair behind her computer; it wasn't a lie. She was feeling much better. Now she was only concerned because she thought she knew the reason for it. Her phone buzzed on her desk, surprising her somewhat. She slid the bar across the screen and read the email from her father. Only one word stood out to her though.  
_Tomorrow_  
He would be here tomorrow. Great; as much as she was looking forward to this, it seemed to be happening very fast. She had so many things to do before tomorrow. Luckily she had arranged the time off because she had planned to go on holiday with Erin. The holiday was a surprise and so Erin need not know that she was missing out because of Jac's dad. Of course Jac did feel a little guilty about the whole thing but the overwhelming feeling of excitement clouded that just enough for her to plan how she was going to sort things out for tomorrow. She would of course organise another trip for her and Erin another time.

She folded her arms and stopped thinking about what needed to be done; her brain focussed on what had happened in theatre. Her photographic memory allowed her to replay the events of the whole thing. She stopped thinking. There was her mistake and it was the tiniest and easiest mistake to make. The amount of blood had scared her because she had been panicking about feinting or throwing up. Anyone could have made a mistake; even the most skilled of surgeons would have been lucky not to have that happen. She would know; she was as skilled as they come.

Jac pulled herself from her chair to find Jonny, as recently she had grown into the type of person who preferred company rather than being alone, who preferred talking than silence, who preferred love to hate. There were two people in the world she had loved to listen to more than anyone else. The Jac Naylor who made her way from her office to find Jonny was so much more open; she was a much happier person and had been since Erin had arrived back in her life and then there was Jonny. Jonny who had been there for her even though she had tried to push him away; he had remained there for when she realised she needed him and wanted him. He was patient and kind and perfect. She couldn't understand why she was so happy; she had felt like this only a few times before in her life. When Erin was born and they placed the quiet child in her arms was one of those times; her grin widened as she thought about this. When Jonny had kissed her at New Year's, just thinking about it made her cheeks blush and her grin turned into one that was more cheeky. The short distance walk to the nurses' station allowed her to think about all these things that made her sure that her father would think that she was a good person, unlike before. She had always been a good person, but before there had been no one to show it off to; Jonny and Erin brought this person out of her and she couldn't wait for her father to meet them.

Jonny looked up from the computer he had been working at and flashed a smile her way.  
"I just got an email from my dad." He continued to smile even though she was using that _tone. _The one kids use when they want their parents to buy them something. "Well, he said that he was coming very soon."  
"We already knew that much, any idea when?"  
"Tomorrow." She finished very shortly and sweetly.  
"Ah." He raised his eyebrows. "So you want me to...?"  
"Well we need to tidy the house and get the food in for tomorrow. I was thinking of having a roast maybe? We could all sit round the table instead in front of the TV?"  
"Anything for you." It was cheesy but she loved it. "How're you feeling?"  
"Much better, I think it was just a bug." She smiled once again just convincingly enough for him to let her go.  
"Well you better go finish up then if you want to get home in time to do everything!"

Her 'illness' apparently long since forgotten and Jonny easily convinced that it was a bug, Jac had finally made the house fit enough for her father to see; she cleaned the whole house tirelessly from the moment she got home from work until three in the morning when she finally found it clean enough for her to go to bed. Jonny had been ordered off the sofa and to the shops to buy in enough food and Erin had been forced away from the computer screen to tidy her room and pick out a nice outfit for tomorrow. Eventually, very worn out albeit pleased with their efforts, she clambered into bed and fell asleep quickly besides Jonny.

Her alarm clock didn't wake her. She had been awake long before her phone became suddenly animated and woke Jonny up. Jac Naylor had been awake sitting alone and was quite tearful in the bathroom long before the house came alive with people getting out of bed, realising what today was and rushing around making breakfast and preparing themselves for their visitor. She ignored it all and concentrated on what was happening right now with her. She had been so busy she hadn't thought about this possibility until now; the tiredness, the mood swings, and sickness. It all made perfect sense as she sat staring at the ivory tiles. But she didn't want this, especially not now. She was lying when she told him she was ready; she didn't have the heart to tell him the truth.


	36. Chapter 36

**Hey :) Thanks for reading and reviewing guys, I really appreciate it! :D I'll try and upload my other fic this week too (if you want to check it out it's called Message on A Little White Stick) Hope you enjoy this chapter, please review! xx**

She stood up slowly trying to make very little noise; she didn't want Jonny or Erin to come looking for her. She turned and faced the mirror over the sink. Anyone could have guessed that had been crying. She quickly filled the sink with warm water and splashed some on her face. She dried it lightly with the towel on the radiator and pulled out her make-up bag from the cupboard next to the shower. Concealing the tear tracks down her face was easy; hiding the truth from Jonny was going to be much harder. Jonny had climbed the stairs realising that Jac wasn't getting ready with them and he was worried that there was something wrong. He tapped on the bathroom door and she opened it, ready to face him as though nothing had happened.  
"You alright?"  
"Yeah, I was just getting ready." She pulled it off with her best smile and pushed past him gently to get down the stairs.  
"You sure?" She turned back to face him on the top step.  
"Definitely. Have you put the lamb in the oven?"  
"Er... I was just doing that now."  
"Yes you were." She rolled her eyes at him; he followed her quickly down the stairs and into the kitchen, where Erin quickly jumped out of her seat and pretended to look busy. Jac realised that she needed to tell her. Erin would be able to keep the secret and that way she could be helped in her decision. As young as she was, Erin had been forced to grow up quite quickly after what had happened with her father, and of course everything with Jac since she had moved in.  
"Erin, I asked you to tidy you r room yesterday and I have just been in there and that is not what I call tidy!" Erin looked sheepish; she knew her mother's standards when cleaning were hard to meet but she was sure she had done enough this time. She followed her mother up the stairs leaving Jonny to put the lamb in the oven.

"Right." Jac shut the door and sat down on the bed, she motioned for Erin to sit next to her, which earned a very confused look from her daughter. "Sit down. I wanted to speak to you in private, hence the whole tidy your room thing. Speaking of which I bet you didn't clean your wardrobe." Erin turned slightly pink, a sign that her mother was right. But she took the seat next to her anyway. "Erin, I'm going to tell you something now and I need you to swear you won't tell Jonny. You need to swear that you won't even acknowledge that I've told you anything okay?"  
"Yeah, I promise." Erin was beginning to get worried now, as a child naturally would.  
"How would you feel if I was pregnant?" She didn't mince her words and Erin pulled a hand to her shocked mouth; she certainly was not expecting this and she needed something to prevent a squeal of excitement and shock from escaping her.  
"You're pregnant?!" Erin said in a loud whisper meaning Jac had to cover her mouth with her own hand this time."  
"Sshhh! Erin!" Jac's eyes filled with panic and they both stayed silent for a moment to hear if Jonny had heard either of them. There were no signs that he had and so Jac removed her hands from Erin's face.  
"Sorry." Erin whispered a lot quieter this time. Jac just nodded and looked down. "Mum? When did you find out?"  
"This morning, but I think I'm a few weeks gone already. I've been having morning sickness, I'm really tired and yesterday I noticed when I thought about it, that my moods have been really weird lately. Only yesterday I was thinking about how happy I am."  
"Wow that must be strange for you."  
"Yeah, thanks Miss Sarcastic."  
"I was taught by the best." Jac accepted this compliment but carried on quickly, realising that they were going to run out of time.  
"Look Erin, I don't know what to do about this. So Jonny and I have been together, well on and off, for almost a year and normal people would be ready for babies and marriage and stuff but I don't think I am. I already have you. I don't think I want another child."  
"Why are you telling me this? You have to tell Jonny. But what would you do? You wouldn't abort it, surely?"  
"I don't know."  
"You wouldn't, I know you mum. I think you do want this. I think you're just scared. How have you not realised before this?"  
"I've had other things going on."  
"You would have noticed. Maybe you didn't want to notice? Maybe you realised you wouldn't want to abort it so you subconsciously ignored it till the point where it was unacceptable for that to be an option."  
"God you sound like a psychiatrist."  
"Thank you."  
"_That _was not a compliment."  
"What are you scared of?"  
"Jac! Erin! Am I going to have to cook this whole dinner by myself?" Their conversation was cut short by Jonny, who was now stood at the bottom of the stairs holding the tin foil and was wearing an apron with yellow flowers on it. Jac and Erin left the room, agreeing to carry on the conversation later, when Jac's father had been and gone, then laughing at how ridiculous Jonny looked.  
"Domestic goddess much?" Erin smirked at her mother, who was looking considerably less panicked than she was before.

Jac was agitated all morning as she not only had the conversation with Erin to carry on with, but also the meeting with her father; she tried not to look out of the window but her eyes couldn't help swinging that way whenever she heard a noise. She hadn't gone to meet him at the airport because she thought he would want to settle in at the hotel first, and he knew his way around so it wasn't as though she needed to guide him. Jonny was starting to get more nervous as the time passed from when her father was meant to show up at their house. One hour, two hour, and then three hours had passed his agreed arrival time with no news about the whereabouts of her father. Jonny was becoming a bit pessimistic about the whole thing to say the least. He was just worried that he wouldn't turn up and this whole thing was a joke; maybe this guy wasn't even her dad it was some guy messing around. Maybe it was her dad but he had decided that he couldn't go through with it? That it had been too long. They had checked whether the plane he was on had in fact landed on time and of course it had. So what was taking him so long? He hadn't even emailed to let them know.

Jac tried to keep herself busy as she pushed the thought of the pregnancy and her father being late from her mind; she made all the food to go with the roast: the potatoes mashed and roasted, the vegetables, the stuffing and the Yorkshire puddings. She hoped her father was still coming but she kept feeling the niggling doubt. She should have listened to Jonny about getting her hopes up too fast, but then this was his fault. He had changed her into this person. She was allowed to be happy about things because he had made it so. She was allowed to look forward to things because she thought that everything was perfect and for a while it really had been. Before her mother had shown up in her life again, everything really had been perfect. Now she was letting herself be knocked down because she knew that in order to be happy she had to take risks like she had; as three and a half hours passed since he was expected, Jac knew that she had built herself up for a fall.

"Jac! Jac! Come on, get out of the kitchen, I think this could be him!" Jonny spotted a man getting out of a taxi; he looked around the same age as Paula but of course he looked better for it. He started to walk up the path and he spotted Erin peeking through the curtains, failing at trying to be inconspicuous. He smiled at her through the window and that's what gave it away. He was definitely Jac's father; their smiles were the same. Erin and Jonny rushed to open the door as Jac was far too busy being totally unlike herself and was actually very nervous now and took more notice of her appearance than she had ever before. Erin had showed him into the living room, where on his way he complained to Jonny about getting lost and how he forgotten his way around; everywhere was bigger now and there were too many buildings. He of course apologised for being late and attributed this to the fact that he had gotten lost when he had got to the airport and then again before getting here, but it mainly was down to the fact that he had accidentally fallen asleep at the hotel when he tried out his bed. Then he spotted Jac and a huge grin filled his face. He had a slim and quite young looking face but not one that wasn't accustomed to laughter and smiles which was given away by the laughter lines and the twinkle in his eyes. His eyes brimmed with tears when he saw his daughter standing on the far side of the room.  
"Hello." That was all he could say before he began crying. Jac matched his actions and also started to cry before she was pulled into the arms of her father.


	37. Chapter 37

**Hellooo :) I hope you've not all given up on this story because I haven't uploaded :/ I'm terribly sorry about how late this is please send all complaints to broken laptop/talktalk internet provider/my school for blocking :/ I've written a few chapters in my period of no internet so I'll be uploading quicker hopefully. Thanks for continuing to read :D xx**

Thomas Naylor pulled out of the hug first and held his daughter in front of him. He looked proudly at her like any father would and then he stopped crying and grinned with such enthusiasm it took over half of his face. Jac stopped crying herself and just sniffed as her father told her how beautiful she was and she still had the same smile; Jac laughed a little at this because she had never had the experience of her father embarrassing her as a teenager so she was getting it now, in her thirties.  
"Now I can smell something delicious! I hope I'm not too late for dinner." He let her go to show him to his seat at the table.  
"I thought I'd do roast dinner; it's lamb and if I remember rightly, that's your favourite?" Jac said, now recovering.  
"You have remembered correctly Jac." Jonny noticed how her father called her by her preferred name and not Jackie or Jacqueline. Jac beamed and Jonny also caught sight of this as he stood carving the meat at his end of the table. "Anyway, we have lots of catching up to do, so I suggest a round of twenty questions. Jac, did you or did you not become a dancer?" Jac's face went very red and both Jonny and Erin struggled to stifle their laughter.  
"Erm, no, no I became a cardio- a heart surgeon. Although I continued the ballet until I was 12."  
"Really?! A heart surgeon? That's fantastic! I always knew you would do something like that; you were incredibly bright as a kid. You know," he turned to face Jonny and Erin now, "that my Jac was moved up a year in school and even then the work was too easy for her. She would do her homework in five minutes and then ask me for quizzes. Well that was when she wasn't dancing of course. She was a brilliant dancer too. I went to all your shows, do you remember?" Jac nodded and began to plate up the rest of the meal.  
"I also continued the piano until I was sixteen, but then the foster parents that I had couldn't afford the lessons anymore. I taught my foster sister Helen."  
"Oh that's lovely Jac. If only you could have carried it on!"  
"Unforeseen circumstances." Jac said sadly. Her dad noted the tone and changed the subject.

"And what about my beautiful granddaughter eh? What are you doing at school then? You are still l at school yes? I have no idea, you're so grown up." Erin cleared her throat a little, clearly slightly nervous.  
"Er, well I'm in the first year of sixth form, I'm seventeen. I'm doing Geography, Politics, History and Physics."  
"Very good and what do you want to do with that?" Erin saw he was genuinely interested so she became more confident in what she was saying.  
"Well I want to Geography at university but I can't decide on human or physical just yet."  
"Well I can see you are a bright spark just like your mum!"  
"She really is a great kid dad." Jac finally sat down and began eating, the others did the same.  
"My son did geography at university; he works for some insurance company, loads of money in that. Though I suppose you aren't doing so badly for yourself are you Jac?"  
"Well not really, I'm a consultant so I do have an alright wage yes and the next stop is Director of Surgery. I'm also working on a PhD; I was in America doing some research not long ago actually." Jac tried to get everything she did into one sentence, trying to impress her father  
"Oh really? That's fantastic; I wouldn't have thought you would travel a lot in your job."  
"I get to go to a lot of places and since I moved to Holby, I'd been to every continent but North America." Even Jonny didn't know this fact and listened in while Jac told him stories of Africa and Asia and most interestingly South America; Jac talked about how she went to Bolivia to see a wire that people had to go across to grow herbs that they used for medicines, but they didn't have harnesses and so they had to tie themselves with cloth and many people died but they had to continue. It seemed that this was a period where Jac and Erin weren't seeing much of each other, Jonny guessed as he saw that Erin was listening intently too. After she had finished talking about her travels, Thomas turned his attention to Jonny, whom up to now, he had ignored.

"So Jonathan, how long have you and Jac been together then?" Jonny quickly chewed the potato he had put into his mouth.  
"Oh, er what is it now? I think it's almost a year. Blimey!"  
"Oh so you're not Erin's dad?"  
"No I'm not..." Jac shifted awkwardly in her seat; she was willing Jonny to say something now, "But I think we have a nice little family going on here and I'm trying to be the best for both Jac and Erin." Jac couldn't have wished for a better answer and she felt herself thinking back to yesterday on the ward when she discovered how happy he was making her.  
"Well it seems like you're doing a very good job. How did you meet Jac?" Jac choked a little on her wine as she remembered the very event where she had first lain eyes on the Scott. Jonny grinned a little, as he watched her go red at the opposite end of the table; luckily Thomas wasn't looking at her, his attention focused on Jonny.  
"It was a course actually when we first met, like an interpersonal skills course." Her father raised his eyebrows at this, "Oh but most people including myself and Jac were there for the benefit of our staff. I'm a senior nurse you see." He was a good liar, Jac thought quietly to herself while she put more vegetables on to Erin's plate. "Before we had got the chance to exchange numbers however, the course was over and although we had talked a lot it was back to our normal lives. It must have been fate then, ( Jac scoffed a little at this) that I just happened to be starting a new job at Holby City Hospital, where as you know, Jac works. I was placed on the same ward as a nurse and transplant coordinator and that was when we got together." Erin noted that Jonny didn't mention the on and off stages that the couple had gone through before finally settling down.  
"So a year eh? I met my second wife and within a year we were married. Do you have any plans?" This time Jac choking on her wine was more than enough to attract her father's attention as it shot from her mouth with little grace but luckily landed on the a napkin that sat in front of her. Jonny laughed a little and Erin patted her mother on the back.  
"Well, I guess not!" Jonny said cheerfully although he was secretly disheartened at Jac's reaction.  
"Not yet anyway, but I'd like to think we were ready and in that place but with work and everything, that's been going on there's not been much time to think about that sort of thing." Jac heard everything in Jonny's tone and so rushed to say why she had reacted like that; it was purely out of shock rather than not wanting to marry him.  
"Ah right I see, so no plans for any more grandchildren any time soon then?" Erin shot a glance at Jac, who opened her eyes wide.  
"No not yet, but soon I think because like Jac said we're in a good place in our relationship for these things and once things have settled down I certainly wouldn't mind more kids in the house!" Jonny answered, not noticing the look on Jac's face.  
"Excellent! I have three grandchildren so far and I'd love more!"  
"Oh yes, tell us about your family in Ireland." Jac said, changing the subject slightly and reducing the tension that only she and Erin could feel.  
"Oh well I have my wife Susan, and three children: two boys and a girl. My eldest lad is 26 and he's the one who works for the insurance company. 26 and he's already making lots of money, I'm very proud of him, well I am of all my children. He has one little girl, Katie is two in May. Here's a picture of them, that's him and his wife Victoria and little Katie." He pulled out his wallet and took out one picture and passed it round the table. "My next eldest is Rachael, she's 24 and she finished university last year doing teaching, she came over here for university, met a nice lad called Daniel and they have just had a baby boy called James last month. He pulled out yet another photo from his wallet and passed it round. "And finally, the baby of the group is Anthony, who is still at university in Belfast, he's doing medicine actually Jac. So that's great, he's only 20 though so still a little longer before he's in surgery eh?" He smiled and pulled out a final photograph. The other two hadn't made their way back to him yet though as Jac was still clutching them in her hands with a sad smile on her face.  
"That's quite the clan Mr Naylor."  
"Hey lad we'll have none of that now, you call me Tom okay?" Jonny smiled back.  
"Sure, would you like some more wine? Or we have some beer in the fridge?" Jonny had wolfed his own dinner down as he did every night; he was the fastest eater Jac had ever met and she knew he felt uncomfortable sitting at the table whilst everyone else was still eating and so little things like this kept him busy.  
"I'll have a beer please then." Tom was distracted by Erin asking him questions and Jonny was distracted by anything he could find and so nobody noticed Jac with all three pictures lay in front of her, her dinner plate forgotten. She looked sadly at all of them; none of them really looked like her. She was the only one with her fiery hair, as her brothers and sister all had curly blonde hair, and the sharp cheekbones were missing too. Her father hadn't kept these and it looked like his children had got their looks mostly from their mother's side as they all grinned widely with filled faces. The boys looked tall too, in the photographs. Jac had just stayed short and skinny, while these towered over their wives with broad shoulders and even his daughter was almost the same height as her husband in the photo.

"They don't look very much like me." Jac was quiet and Tom asked her to repeat what she had said. "They don't have my hair or features, they don't have our smile. They're tall and broad. We look completely different."  
"Well my wife is very tall and she has blonde hair. They all look very much like Susan; you're right, you're the only one who got my smile. I'd love for you to meet your other siblings Jac, because they still are your siblings even if they don't share your hair colour or your cheekbones. I know that they are all excited to meet you." She looked up when he said this.  
"How did you tell them you were coming to see me? Breaking the news you had another daughter must have been pretty hard."  
"Not at all actually. They've all known since they were young; I've been completely honest about you Jac, I've never denied or ignored you, I just thought that I'd never see you again because you were in India. My kids tried finding you of course what with that Facebook and people finder websites but we never did; we were using Burrows as your name though. I didn't think you'd have kept mine."  
"I didn't for the first two years. Mum changed it to Burrows, but then when I was taken into care I became a Naylor again. But that's not the point; your wife knows about me too?"  
"Yes, and she can't wait to meet you either! You're all welcome to come to Ireland and you can stay with us, I have a big farmhouse with plenty of room, you'll have to mind the animals of course! I bought a horse last year. Do you remember that time we went horse riding?" Jac actually laughed out loud at the memory.  
"And mum fell off! She was so excited about going too! We never went again; you and I were too perfect for our first go. She went riding as a kid as well didn't she?" Thomas smiled too and instead of feeling sad Jac had perked up and they began reminiscing over dessert with Jac recounting some of Erin's finer moments from when she was young and Jonny talking about his past too.


	38. Chapter 38

**Hey everyone! Sorry for being shockingly bad at updating, I'm just spending most of my time revising so D: Anyway, thanks for reading/reviewing etc. Hope you all enjoy this chapter and I'll try really hard to get another one up soon :) xx**

It was the start of the most perfect week for the four of them; Jac spent lots of quality time with the man she hadn't seen in over 20 years and Erin and Jonny decided that this could be their chance to get to know one another better.

"So, what are we doing today?" It was reaching day five of Jac's father's visit and they had already left the house to bond some more, leaving Jonny and Erin to enjoy each other's company once again. Neither of them minded though, because the sooner they became a close unit, the more comfortable Jac would be, and both of them had their reasons for wanting that. It was this day that Jonny chose to share his reason with Erin.  
"Well, actually I have an idea." Erin was intrigued by Jonny's mysterious tone. "Today, I think we should go shopping."  
"We went shopping yesterday and you moaned every time I went into a shop!"  
"It's not that kind of shopping because _that_ was truly unbearable! I don't have a clue how you can just abide that. Most of the time you didn't even buy anything!"  
"It's called window shopping! Anyway, we're getting off topic. What kind of shopping did you have in mind then?"  
"Well actually, today I want to go ring shopping." He said it quickly with a nervous grin that took up half of his face. The excitement that was suddenly clear in his eyes became matched by Erin's expression.  
"No way! Oh my God, okay. Okay." A melodramatic teenage response was what Jonny had wanted from Erin, who had now got out of the chair and was jigging excitedly in front of the TV. "When are you going to ask her? When did you decide you were going to ask her? Have you asked her dad yet? I'm going to be bridesmaid, obviously. We need dresses and flowers and a venue and oh, it has to be in a castle, mum always wanted to get married in a castle. Her and dad just got married in a registry office and I know she's always regretted that and- "  
"Erin, I think you need to calm down."  
"I can't this is too exciting! Answer my question!"  
"Which one? You asked me about 50 in one second." Jonny laughed as he watched the 17 year old still bounding across the living room, while he sat, slightly more confidently on the sofa. She stopped jumping and sat across from him in the armchair.

"Okay, I think question one was when are you going to ask her?" She was out of breath from jumping and she still couldn't really contain her excitement even though she was sitting down.  
"I was thinking on the day her father is set to leave, because she'll be sad about him going but then she'll be happy, _hopefully, _when I ask her. Her dad still has to be here though, because I want him to see me do it."  
"You want his approval? So you haven't asked him yet?"  
"No, I've asked him but I just want him to see her reaction and I think after all the time they've missed together, then this can be one special thing that he does get to see."  
"When did you ask him?"  
"I asked him on his first night here, after dinner while you and your mum had gone off whispering about something, which, by the way, I m still trying to find out about. Are you going to tell me?"  
"No way, it's more than my life is worth to tell you I'm afraid. So you asked him and what did he say?"  
"He said I seem like I'm serious and he can see that I make her happy." Jonny beamed and puffed his chest out slightly, making Erin giggle just a little.  
"Right, that's two of my questions. I don't think there were fifty actually; I think you're exaggerating slightly Jonathan. Question three, when did you decide you wanted to marry her?"  
"When did I decide I wanted marry her is the wrong question. I'll tell you though. I decided I wanted to marry her on the day she came into Holby with you. She'd been stabbed by Paul and I realised just how stupid we had been with our on off relationship and in that moment when we could have lost her I discovered just how much I loved her and it was in that moment I knew I would marry her. That's why whatever she threw at me next, i.e. you, I was ready for and I just accepted." Erin had certainly calmed down now, and his declaration of love for her mother had almost brought her to tears, except she was Jac Naylor's child and it was going to take much more than that.  
"Wow. That was actually pretty cute. You're right, that was the wrong question, I meant when did you decide you were going to propose? I'm glad I asked that question though, I needed to know what your intentions were with my mother." She raised an eyebrow and Jonny shifted in his seat, mimicking nervousness.  
"I decided that I was going to propose to her on your birthday. It was such a great day and we were all happy and hold off on the retching dear, I'm just saying it felt nice and it felt like we were a family." She had certainly gained her lack of sentimentality from her mother.  
"Well we kinda are I guess. In a strange but functioning way."  
"What family is normal?" Both were silent now as they thought about their own families. Erin instantly thought of her father Paul and then her mother's family who had screwed her up so much.  
"I guess we're doing pretty well considering you're the most cheesy person I've ever met, mum's a crazy woman with so much past she could have had three other lives and me, the only normal one trying to make it in a world where-"  
"Yeah, thanks Erin." Jonny rolled his eyes as the teen was about to set off on another dramatic rant.  
"I guess you're right Jonny. We pretty much are a family now. Weird, isn't it?" Jonny just nodded. "Anyway, let's stop being so deep about things and let's go shopping." Erin grinned and jumped from her seat to get changed from her pyjamas into something suitable to go ring shopping in.

She emerged just under an hour later, finally dressed in a white summer dress with white plimsoll shoes, she had curled her hair and put it on one side and Jonny thought she looked incredibly like her mother. He had opted for a similar smart look with a navy blue shirt and black jeans. His ensemble had taken much less time to get together.  
"Wow Erin, I think the shops have closed now, maybe we'll go tomorrow."  
"Oh ha ha." She rolled her eyes at him and followed him out of the door and to his car. Half an hour later they had arrived at a huge shopping centre which contained so many shops selling almost everything; this included the place where Jonny had chosen to purchase his ring.

Erin approved of his choice and followed him closely inside, not wanting to get lost in the mass of people that were out shopping. They headed off in different directions, as was their plan and whistled the other to come over if they found anything interesting. After a few false starts with gold rings with huge diamonds to sapphires and a few '_my precious'_ moments from Jonny, he finally shouted Erin over with an element of haste. She set her eyes upon where he was pointing and she let out a little gasp. Beyond the glass sat a platinum ring encrusted with two sapphires beside a small diamond. This was Jac's ring.  
"That's beautiful." Erin said in a small voice as though the exquisiteness of the ring had reduced her to something tiny.  
"That's Jac." Jonny smiled, and he too used a very quiet voice.  
"Is it not a bit beyond your price range?" Erin said finally, noticing the large figure placed next to the ring.  
"By quite a bit yes, but I've been saving and I've spoken to my sisters and I think I can afford it."  
"Well then, this is the ring."

The purchase sat in his coat pocket in a navy box on the way home, and was put safely away when they arrived there. Jonny became worried that Erin would blurt out the news before he was going to propose; every time she walked past the place where it was hidden she let out a little squeal of excitement. However, Jonny didn't know just how good Erin was at keeping secrets, especially those that concerned both of her guardians.


	39. Chapter 39

**Helloooo :) Thanks for reading and reviewing guys I really appreciate it. I'll try and update soon, but I have a maths exam on Friday that I have not particularly prepared for and I can't handle it. D: Anyway, enjoy this chapter and please review! :) xx**

It was the last full day that her father was in England and Jac had been emotional all morning; Erin kept pointing out that this was mainly because she was pregnant, and this is what happens, and she wouldn't be able to hide it for much longer if she kept getting crazy all the time. Actually, Jac thought there would be another reason that she couldn't hide it for much longer, because she hadn't quite estimated just how far gone she was until her clothes started to cling to her. Jonny hadn't noticed yet but it would only be a matter of time. She was at least two months if not more. She needed to make an appointment. All these thoughts ran through her mind every time her head hit her pillow because Erin was always on hand to remind her that she would have to make a decision sooner or later and at some point, she really did have to tell Jonny. She didn't know how or when she would do this and unlike anything before, she was trying to put off doing it. Normally Jac Naylor wanted to get things over and done with, but this was such a life changing situation and even she hadn't quite figured out whether she wanted it and why she was being so indecisive. She had tried thinking about it of course, but she often found something more important to be thinking about.

Luckily, Jonny was too preoccupied with his own secret to notice anything out of the ordinary in terms of Jac's emotions. Instead of worrying that Erin might give away the secret, he kept walking past the place it was hidden, and every so often he would check it was still there. Today was the day that Jonny was going to propose and he had never been more nervous. Luckily for him, Jac didn't notice his strange behaviour either, it was only up to Erin and Thomas Naylor to wonder what on Earth they were doing; although, Erin was the most informed so she wondered less and laughed more at their obviousness.

Thomas had been given the grand tour of Jac's place of work already, meeting her friends and colleagues. They had done the regular things like sight seeing and shopping, but there was one more thing Jac wanted to do before her father went back to Ireland. Erin, Jonny and Thomas all sat in Jonny's car awaiting Jac to type in their destination into the sat-nav. They had all woken up very early so they knew the journey would take a while and they had been told to wear appropriate clothes; Jonny had opted for a pair of chino shorts with a pale blue shirt that Jac had bought him, while she and Erin had gone for summer dresses, although it was quite early in the year. Thomas Naylor had gone for some beige cords and a white shirt, looking summery and at the same time, very much like a grandfather. But they hadn't yet been told where they were going. Finally Jac had placed the last bag in the back of the car and she took her place in the passenger seat next to Jonny.  
"Right, well you need to give me some idea of where we're going if you expect me to drive."  
"Okay, for our last day with Thomas Naylor, I wanted to do something extra special. Now I don't know what has gotten into me lately but I've been feeling quite sentimental-"  
"Hormones." Erin mumbled very quietly and only Jac could guess what she was saying. Jac was facing her father and Erin in the back of the car, and so any glare that Jac wanted to express to Erin would have aroused suspicion so instead Jac smiled sarcastically at her daughter and continued.  
"Today, we are going down to Cornwall. The first thing that we're going to do is have breakfast somewhere because I've only brought a few snacks for the journey, then we'll go to a beach with a pier and such, we'll have fish and chips on the beach and I'll tell you from there what we're doing next." Jonny was smiling at the reactions of Erin and Thomas through his mirror. Thomas knew exactly why Jac had chosen here for their last day, while Erin was slightly confused but at the same time was looking forward to it.  
"So what's the sentimentality side of it mum?"  
"Well, when I was a kid, dad told me that I would have to see what his holidays were like back in the day, instead of foreign adventures and he promised to take me one day to Cornwall and he would buy me an ice cream and donkey rides etc. Now I'm far too old for a donkey ride, but I'd like a ninety-nine with raspberry sauce and sprinkles." Thomas laughed and Jonny turned on the engine and they were off.

They had reached their second pit stop halfway along. Jac stayed with Jonny in the car while Erin and Thomas went to buy more snacks because Jac hadn't quite determined how greedy Jonny would be with both hands on the steering wheel. Thomas and Erin has also been playing some form of card game in the back which required them to gamble the food, so half of it had been lost that way.  
"I never had you down for the soppy type Naylor." Jonny said out of nowhere; they had both been lost in their own thoughts, probably about the two things that they had to do.  
"I'm not soppy; I can still get my bitch on whenever I feel like it. Just want my dad to have the best possible impression of me."  
"Okay, sure. So you're not feeling all gooey and happy right now?"  
"I'm not gooey! I'm just content with the way things have panned out."  
"Like what?"  
"Like seeing my dad again and I just have a feeling that today's going to go well."  
"I'm sure it will." He picked one of her hands up in his and squeezed it gently.  
"Jonny, I have something to tell you." He smiled back at her, only slightly worried as to where this was going and whether it would affect what he was planning later in the day.  
"Go on." He tried his best to act casual, but it hadn't worked out for him all day.  
"I'm-"  
"We're back, and we bring supplies!" Thomas shouted through the open driver's seat window. Their moment melted away and Jonny let go of Jac's hand to grab a packet of crisps from Erin. Jac sat back in her seat and sighed. She was sure that her brain had been acting without permission and she was just about to tell him that she was pregnant. She wasn't sure where the sudden urge to tell him had come from; the journey so far had consisted of little thought towards the foetus. They set of again and Jac became very quiet, not that it was noticed by the others who had commenced a terrible sing along to whatever was on the radio.

Jac had been about to tell Jonny that she was pregnant, that must tell her something. Yet she still had the niggling doubt at the back of her mind, reminding her of all the reasons against having this child. She couldn't think about it as a child because that conjured up an image of what it would look like and all the stages of its life burst into her mind. She tried hard not to think about it in this way so she could be entirely disconnected, but however hard she tried, she couldn't help but see Jonny's cheeky grin on a small boy or her fiery hair on a little girl and when she looked at the side view mirror, she noticed she was smiling. When she saw herself smiling though, was when the negative thoughts clouded her mind, because she couldn't be happy. There was always something; there had to be. She couldn't allow herself to be truly happy because... She had no answer to that. Why couldn't she allow herself to be truly happy? What was stopping her? Jonny; as much as he had said he wanted a life with her and children with her, he hadn't committed to anything and that meant he could leave her at any minute. There was never any guarantee, and that's what she needed, because she'd been let down too many times before. Then there was the other thing she was scared of. _Losing this child just like she had lost Erin._ But she thought about it more and more and she discovered that she just couldn't allow that, she wouldn't allow that under any circumstances. Did that mean she shouldn't have the baby? Wasn't she strong enough to put up a fight if it ever happened again? Of course she was, because she had experienced it before and Jac Naylor would not allow that again; she would do whatever it takes. Whatever it takes wasn't new to Jac. She had got Erin back eventually, and the scar from where Paul had stabbed her was proof she would do anything. It was also proof that she had the capability to care for a child, although this was one of her worries that would never go away. It had never gone away even when she got Erin back and managed to take care of her. When you became a mother you never stopped worrying. Without Erin in her life, Jac had been cold and heartless and she realised that this was because she had nobody to worry about. All that time she thought it was because she was the same as her mother and she had no capability to love and care about someone, but she only had to think about Erin to see this wasn't true and it was only now, when she had to face the idea of adding someone into her life, that she saw this.

She sat back in her seat and looked over to Jonny who was still singing. Was he going anywhere? She couldn't be sure. There was only one way of finding out and telling him she was pregnant was it. It had to be today too. Because the longer she left it, the closer it came to when she couldn't get rid of this baby and she only wanted it with him. She felt an elbow in her side. Jonny was nudging her.  
"You okay?"  
"I'm fine. When's the next pit stop I need to pee?"  
"We literally just left the last one. You're going to have to wait." She glared at him but he was used to it and he wasn't backing down. "Cross your legs." She did as she was told and wiggled her knees. To keep herself preoccupied, she started singing along with her father and Erin. She gradually got louder and louder and more out of tune and she could tell that any minute now Jonny would give in and allow her a bathroom break. She was not wrong.  
"Fine! Fine! I'll stop as soon as I can just please, stop singing."  
"No wonder you don't have any friends." This was Erin's best impersonation of Shrek although her Scottish accent wasn't particularly great and the whole car erupted in laughter and each tried the Scottish accent, while Jonny tried his dab hand at an English accent, which was the best attempt.  
"Oh no stop, please, I'll need a wee even more!"

Jonny was the most grateful when they finally arrived at their destination. They parked close to the beach but left everything in the car until they'd had breakfast at a cute cafe hidden away from the masses. The town was busy bustling with tourists both foreign and terrestrial to England; Jac was the only one to have never been here and she just wanted to soak up everything about the picturesque landscape, she also wanted bacon. So the family settled down and ate breakfast without a word. Afterwards they set off to the beach, looking in the seaside shops as they walked. Jonny insisted on carrying most of the bags, probably ensuring he looked macho enough to marry Thomas' daughter. Jac was not the only one to want to give her father a good impression of them. They finally made it to the beach having looked in every shop possible and buying as much junk as they could carry.  
"Well, as promised I am going to buy ice creams so let me take orders." Jac told him her choice again, followed by Jonny. Erin chose to go with him so she could see the variety, she also wanted to give Jac a chance to tell Jonny, having she had been told in their unplanned pit stop how Jac was coming round to the idea of the pregnancy.

They sat on a wall that separated the sand from the concrete pathways, waiting for Thomas to come back. Jac knew exactly why Erin had gone with him and she knew she had to take the opportunity. Erin had been very convincing making her tell Jonny today, making Jac slightly suspicious but either way, she was going to have to tell him soon. She didn't have to bring the topic of conversation up however; as Jonny remembered that they hadn't finished their conversation from earlier.  
"So, about three hours ago, you were about to tell me something. Do you by any chance, remember what that was?" Jac squinted in the sun and held one hand above her eyes to shelter them. It was her who picked up Jonny's hand this time.  
"I remember; it's actually impossible to forget what I have to tell you."  
"You're starting to sounds pretty ominous."  
"I don't mean to be. I'm just nervous and-"  
"Just tell me then, blurt it out." He gripped her hand a little tighter.  
"Okay. I'm pregnant." She said it in a quiet voice, but felt relief as soon as she had. There was a slight upturning of her lips as though she was smiling and after the initial 'o' shaped reaction of Jonny's mouth, it was replaced by a similar smile.  
"I... when did you... how long...I..." He was lost for words but wasn't lost for emotion. He pulled Jac up from where he was sitting and picked her up, lifting her from the ground only slightly before spinning her around. He was completely elated; Thomas and Erin found them in this state when they brought back their ice creams. Erin knowingly smiled while Thomas just looked confusedly at the pair. He wondered whether Jonny had already proposed to his daughter, but then he reminded himself that Jonny had wanted to do it in front of everyone.  
"We're having a baby!" Jonny had finally put Jac down to take his ice cream from Erin, but he didn't let her go and held her closely to one side of him. Erin pretended she was surprised, because it would have been unfair for her to ruin the moment for him. Jac hugged and kissed her father, whilst Jonny, still completely overtaken by happiness picked Erin up in the same fashion as he had Jac and spun her round too, spilling his ice cream over them both in the process. It was now, with ice cream all over his face and shirt, that he took a box out of his pocket.

"I was going to wait, but I might as well do it now." He knelt down in front of her, blocking people slightly who were walking. Some stopped to watch the crazy man covered in vanilla as he open the navy velvet box. Jac gasped, for she realised what he was about to do.  
"When your dad first came and had dinner with us and he mentioned marriage, you choked on your wine, I have to admit that was a little disheartening. But I didn't let it stop me. Instead I made sure that I spent every moment trying to get to know Erin so much more, as well as your dad, and even you. I can tell you for example, that when you were four years old you owned a cat that you called Jac simply because it was ginger too. I also know that Erin's secret celebrity crush is Simon Cowell, which is quite disturbing actually. And finally I know that your dad wants nothing more than for you to be happy and that's why he gave me permission to ask you this: Jac Naylor, would you kindly do me the honour of becoming my wife?"


	40. Chapter 40

**Okay, hi guys. I'm so sorry for the delay. I currently have no internet and I've come all the way to my grandma's to update :) This is the last chapter, it's a lot shorter just because it's a round up. I hope you enjoy it :) When I get my internet back I'll be starting a new story that I have written. :) Thanks for reviews and such xx**

It seemed like everything had just become perfect for Jac Naylor. In that moment she knew that her whole life had turned a corner. She was having Jonny's baby and she was about to say yes to that question. The question that she never thought she would hear again, not after Paul.  
"Yes." It was simple, but she let him slide the ring on to her finger and then kiss her, in front of her father and in front of Erin. When they finally broke apart, Jac was clearly embarrassed to see her father looking sheepishly at the floor and Erin staring into the sky, whistling.  
"Right then. When I was a kid we used to play beach cricket, so how about I go purchase a bat and ball from that tatty shop over there and we'll enjoy the rest of the day?" Jonny said, breaking the silence easily. Erin nodded and went with him, while Jac shook her head but smiled. They spent the rest of the afternoon playing a very strange version of cricket; one which seemed to have been made up as they went along by Jonny.

Jac went on to have a baby boy called Matthew Jonathan, and then two years later she had another girl called Amelia Jade. Jac and Jonny got married in the summer after Amelia was born in December, having waited three years because of postponing due to babies and work. Jac's father walked her down the isle, like a normal father would. He beamed proudly, noticed by his wife and his other children who sat on Jac's side of the Church. Behind Jac and her father, Erin had come back from university to be her mother's bridesmaid, accompanied by two very small children; a boy, her brother, toddled alongside her while a sixth month old baby girl was rested in her arms, pulling slightly at her dress. The baby girl had tufts of the same coloured hair as her sister, but like her brother, hers was definitely going to curl, much like her father's. Speaking of Jonny, and it really should be said, he was stood at the front of the Church, and instead of being stood next to his best man, he stood next to his best woman, Mo, who had a similar dress to Erin. Jonny stood with his mouth wide open as he watched _her_ walk down the isle. His only attention was not on the people around her, but on her only. She had always been beautiful to him; he'd always thought her beauty increased every time he saw her. She was even beautiful when she was giving birth to both of his children, but now as he gazed at what was coming towards him, words could not describe what he saw. She looked like a different person, except she was very much the same and it was very much her. She looked as happy as she did when she was first handed each of her children; Jonny couldn't help but feel shocked because it was he who had made her this happy. Her smile was mirrored on his own face as she finally met him at the altar. He picked up one of her hands and entwined his fingers between hers. They turned around and the ceremony began.


End file.
